LAST TIME: Our main character gets a goddamn job, and accidentally runs into the twins from the first episode and their Trainer or whatever, a big buffoon. Together, they hunt down the Green Girl, a 9-year-old girl that the main character eventually “bonds” with (disturbing). Also, someone fights somebody else in the street without any ill effect, and a bunch of people stand on roofs and talk in code to each other.
0:18 Um…sure. I totally came here.
0:31 The fuck? Who was that and why did they do that?
0:53 There have been three characters shown so far, and they all have the same haircut.
1:26 I’ve also been stalking him for years, despite the fact that he randomly joined our big dumb game only five days ago by complete accident.
3:04 Oh! Maison Izumo. They didn’t translate the title completely. It’s actually the story about the stupid house they live in.
4:33 That lady from the beginning was also a man? I’m just going to assume every jerk with grey hair is actually a dude until evidence suggests otherwise.
5:56 Swordfight! Wait…only one of you has a sword.
6:24 Never internal monologue unless you are an interesting character.
6:57 And this asshole is back.
7:09 Wait, your dead husband’s best friend was a 25-year-old slacker? How old was he?
7:51 She just hit him with a huge rock she just happened to be carrying around.
8:31 That‘s a weird animation! He’s jerking about and I don’t know what it signifies.
9:12 “Now I know what a lobster feels like.”
9:30 Oh right, tons and tons of nakedness. Have yourself a nice glass of scotch.
10:30 AH! AH! AH! AH! AH!
11:01 EVERYONE AGREES! Do not suggest he intentionally brought the 9-year-old to his room.
11:36 Stop with the creepy masks!
12:08 Here’s some random pawing at breasts for no reason. In case you forgot they were there.
13:03 What. Who has a penguin costume just hanging about?
13:11 I love when the main character asks the same questions I am.
13:57 I am so in love with this loser. That’s why I’m grabbing the crap out of my tits!
14:41 The sister has fallen in love with this guy because he’s a pretty boy. That’s her only rationale.
15:25 “Pretty boys are national treasures, you idiot!”
15:50 Any explanation at all why she was walking on her hands and knees for those few seconds?
17:03 Then…where do they go after they lose their symbol?
17:48 It’s almost as if the entire series in completely pointless.
18:05 Let me just lie on top of you and cry to show how much I care about you.
18:45 There’s a reward for the last Sekikei standing? Is it the Prize? Will you learn all the knowledge in the universe and then waste that knowledge spending the rest of your life with some dope?
18:58 Oh, apparently yes. The reward is to get to stay with the man you were forced to fall in love with. What a great damn reward.
19:27 STOP DOING THAT! Yes, we see your boobs!
19:48 Hey, that’s an interesting set-up, to have all your computer screens glow red the second you declare someone your enemy.
20:17 Is she outrunning lasers from space?! Could she be bothered to look worried about this?
20:50 Yes, that day and a half of training will sure allow her to defeat any combatant.
21:10 This guy is a professional self-talker.
21:29 Yes, that is a strange naked lady who just walked right into the bathroom.
21:53 Dude, don’t knock it! Redhead! Naked redhead! Crazier has happened!
22:06 The fuck? You didn’t finish any goddamn story. You have three plot threads just dangling, you can’t just cut to credits.
Verdict: That was pointless! They were hinting at a lot of different things, including the fact that there are apparently dude Sekirei, which kinda goes against the entire point, and that there are even more of these creepy robots who want to mack on our hapless main character, but nothing that’s happened so far has made any dang sense. Who is this redhead computer hacker, and why can she seemingly enter the boarding house whenever she wants? Also, what was the Strange Story? Everyone in this house is a jerk?
*Sekirei is available on Netflix InstantWatch and Hulu. Sekirei is property of Sakurako Gokurakuin/Square Enix and the SEKIREI Project.
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