Demon King Daimao - Episode 12: "The Perfect Ending?"

NO.

LAST TIME: Oh no BUT WAIT oh no BUT WAIT oh no BUT WAIT over and over and over again. Seriously, I hope you hate resolution, because here comes someone else to prevent anything interesting from concluding at all. Let’s finish this. Demon versus God, apparently.

Demon King Daimao - Episode 11: "The Girl's Final Battle"

Because even though all the primary antagonists are dudes, it’s really the ladies that we’re interesting in seeing duke it out. Pretty weird though, considering the majority of them of them are on side Demon King. Well, except for green haired chick, but her powers are so vague that I doubt she’s actually any good in a fight. Well, maybe someone will die. That’ll be interesting.

LAST TIME: OH I DON’T KNOW! For some reason demons took over the school and there's political intrigue and the MC decided that he wants to punch out God and frankly I’m confused and a little upset. Maybe this episode will clear everything up?

Demon King Daimao - Episode 10: "Akuto’s Great Capital War"

I don’t know…I’ve seen better capital wars. I mean, in others I can actually tell who the bad guy is and why.

LAST TIME: One part sad drama about a woman trying to talk herself into an arranged marriage with a complete jackass, one part insane gibberish hidden behind blood. I really couldn’t tell you what the conditions for the start of this episode are, because I have no idea who the villain is or what he’s trying to accomplish. So…okay.

Demon King Daimao - Episode 9: "Crazy Fuss about an Arranged Marriage"

Yeah, what’s the big deal? I mean jeez, it’s not like our societal values have adjusted greatly in the past 100 years that the mere concept of women being auctioned off to the highest bidder is seen as barbaric by most Western cultures and is gradually losing favor, even in Japan. I mean come on, it’s not like this show was produced just last year!

LAST TIME: The hero is suddenly very concerned that his good friend isn’t going to class, and so he does something about it. Of course, it doesn't really get resolved because a monster shows up, and for some reason our hero just sits and watches as his friend solves the problem instead. It was pretty much all filler, but there was no nudity, so I liked it.

Demon King Daimao - Episode 8: "Eyeing Her Over?"

Well it’s not like you gave me a choice, anime! I mean, last episode you had a character get naked for absolutely no reason! She was even asked twice why she took off her damn clothes, and she never told us! I guess it was to make her invisibility spell work, but she never actually went invisible. But anyway, yeah, okay, what’s the over under on who gets naked this time? The android hasn’t gotten naked in a while, but the witch hat lady hasn’t gotten naked at all! Maybe she pulled the short straw this time. Why am I considering this?

LAST TIME: Everything was going fine until some goddamn lunatic decided to resurrect some terrifying stories-tall sea sponge. Then there was a bunch of bullshit, the little guy suddenly got Gundam armor, and for some reason the government wants the main character to marry the person who absolutely hates him. Well, that’ll happen under Obamacare.

Demon King Daimao - Episode 7: "The Legendary Hero Emerges?!"

Why so shocked, title? You didn’t think a hero would show up? Don’t be so incredulous, guy.

LAST TIME: Lots of tits. Oh, and apparently there’s some prophecy on this island that suggests that the main character might die, but I really don’t see that happening. And the robot was shot. And people are drunk. Okay, I guess a lot of other stuff did happen.

Demon King Daimao - Episode 6: "Let's Go to the Beach House"

There’s a…beach school. Oh god, this is a swimsuit episode isn’t it? Okay! Bring it on! I can take it!

LAST TIME: Our heroes, all of them, even though half of them seemed to do it randomly, went down into some secret catacombs, managed to wake up a fucking dragon, and then the dragon was tamed by the main character and now everyone suddenly lives underground? Also people can not stop leaping panties first at our hero. He’s got appeal?

Demon King Daimao - Episode 5: "Underground Labyrinth"

Um. Okay. I haven’t really heard of a labyrinth that wasn’t underground. Well, except for the titular Labyrinth, with David Bowie. Okay never mind. I guess this is a sign that you’d kinda want to see. Then you know to turn around!

LAST TIME: After some bullshit, our main character gets put into detention, for some reason, and after hijinks, he finds a map, that is apparently a really big fucking deal. After some nonsense, involving some character we have never seen before inviting him to her Magic Box, he now has to follow the treasure map because…

Demon King Daimao - Episode 4: "The Isolation Cell is Fun?"

Maybe they have a game closet in there? You can play Parcheesi while you’re being punished for an unspecified crime! Royal game of India!

LAST TIME: I still have no idea…our villain (who is suddenly a villain) tries to trick our hero into injecting himself with some pills that would make him fall in love with her, and somehow this caused the entire school to chase the hero with swords, and then rice fell from the sky, and oh god brain aneurysm.

Demon King Daimao - Episode 3: "A Slightly Intimidating Senior"

She walks up on you with her cane and her dentures and tells you a story about World War II and…oh, you probably mean the other kind of senior. (Easy joke.)

LAST TIME: Things calm down a bit and apparently our MC is being watched by a robot, no clue why, and then he goes into the woods so he can talk to someone. This process, for some reason, requires him to stare at panties. Oh, and there was a head in a jar.

Demon King Daimao - Episode 2: "Secret Surveillance Agent"

As opposed to all the normal surveillance agents, who are watching your every clandestine move for reasonable reasons, and always wave hello when you go out for coffee in the morning.

LAST TIME: Hell if I know! Some guy joins some magic academy and the Sorting Hat says he’s going to be the Demon King and that suddenly makes him the school pariah and his girlfriend keeps wanting to beat the shit out of him because of it, but she keeps losing and all her clothes fall off. Also two other ladies show up in the last two minutes for no reason, but they’re on the cover, so I guess they’re important.

Demon King Daimao - Episode 1: "The Demon King is Born"

So…season 2 of Sekirei is not going to happen. At least not now. The decision was based primarily on the fact that the season is currently only subbed, and I think having to both read and come up with funny stuff would be pretty tough, so I’m going to skip it. Instead, I’m going to move onto something new, something I’ve never heard of, something without gag boobs. That’s right, that classic, Demon King Daimao! What? Never heard of it? Well, it’s got a king, he’s a Demon, don’t know his name, could be anything. Anyway. Let’s get moving!