Squadron Supreme - Issue 7: "Turnabout"

Yeah you know what this looks like. Don’t make me say it.

LAST TIME: The government decides to give an insane megalomaniac even more power, because why not, Not-Batman beats up an actor from the 70’s who is currently playing a pimp, and some guy named Redstone I guess shows up to punch people.

Squadron Supreme - Issue 6: "Questions of Loyalty"

Is this the viewpoint of a cat? Why is he throwing his dumb throwing stars at a cat? I can’t believe Nighthawk hates cats! The monster.

LAST TIME: Our heroes continue to kill brown people, and it’s okay because the bad guys are evil, you guys. Also a lot of revenge murder. It was kinda too much.

Squadron Supreme - Issue 5: "Blood and Sand Part II"

She is extremely excited about throwing that tank!

LAST TIME: Our heroes are still pyschotic murderers who have illusions of world domination, except for the girl who can’t seem to cover her midriff, who apparently was raised by a complete monster. Seriously, she gets raped, and her dad’s all like, “Totally her fault.” And since when is having invulnerability a sign of mortal sin? I’m glad that guy died from being on fire.

Squadron Supreme - Issue 4: "Blood and Sand Part I"

This cover does absolutely nothing for me. It tells me something I already know (this woman is terrible) and doesn’t tell me anything specific about what to expect in the book. So, I hate it. Just out right.

LAST TIME: A lot of punching and a lot of crappy speeches. We learn some dumb history about our team, and someone ends up in someone else’s butt. It was an unpleasant time all around.

Squadron Supreme - Issue 3: "International Incidents"

You get those boobs away from me!

LAST TIME: The team is sent to go kill a single person who the government knows has mind control powers. The entire team, even the tiny guy and the lady with fate changing powers. It is stupidest strategic decision ever, and I’m beginning to think they just said, “Eh, this America team plan is goddamn stupid, let’s sabotage it immediately.” That’s the only explanation for such a boneheaded stupid move.

Squadron Supreme - Issue 2: “First Steps”

Does this fish lady just go everywhere with the Green Lantern guy? Does she have any friends? I’m worried about the status of their relationship.

LAST TIME: Surprise surprise the government is putting together a team of superheroes. This plot hasn’t been done like a few dozen times. We are introduced to a crew of people who are not quite but close enough expies of DC heroes, and we get to see the gritty Marvel treatment of them, so…I guess the Flash might make out with a dude? I don’t know. Also, George W. Bush is in this.

Squadron Supreme - Issue 1: "The Pre-War Years"

I was hunting for horrible books to read at the local used book store, and came across this gem. Now, I knew nothing about it, but I figured I didn’t need to, because it was going to be dumb regardless. Who are all these jerks? What is with the giant gimp with the owl fetish? Why is that lady in the back so excited? Who invited Sloth? (Also there is a tiny man standing in a precarious dangerous place. Took me weeks to see him.)

A bit of research that I really should have done a while ago reveals that the reason I have no clue who these dummies are is because they are from an alternate Marvel universe that was initially published on the MAX imprint. Which means some great and terrible things: One, there is no reason to care about these character, so many of them are going to die, and two, there will probably be nudity. So let’s discover and then quickly forget about this team together.