Shadowpact - Issue 8: "Ragtime"

Why is everyone punching Ragman? I don’t think he’s that bad a character. I mean, he’s stupid and mean, but not worth punching.

LAST TIME: The Shadowpact’s official cast goes from two full-time dogs to only one part-time dog, and then a bunch of jerks show up and start beating up the heroes, only to be blinded by Nightshade. Thanks, Nightshade. Also, Nightmaster is an asshole, and he made a bad Asimov joke.

Shadowpact #7: “The Laws of Battle”

Yeah, I’d be pretty shouty too if I had to wear some ugly white cowl like all the rest of my cult members. I mean, you probably wouldn’t get to personalize it at all. They probably get handed out at the beginning of every meeting…all full of someone else’s head sweat.

LAST TIME: Some guy with a shitton of dogs attacks Shadowpact and managed to turn two of them into mastiffs. Also, we were told the story of Flippy the bartender, who once knew Batman and developed telekinesis, and for some reason couldn’t get a job even though that ability is really awesome. And…that’s it! It was pretty filler.

Shadowpact #6: "The Wild Hunt"

That’s…a lot of goddamn mastiffs. I mean, they are cool dogs, but more than a dozen? That is kinda overdoing it. I also like that they call out the two people that they didn't put on the cover, as if those people are in any danger of dying. Yeah, sure, comic book characters dying. Craziest thing I’ve ever heard! (RIP Ralph Dibny. Pour one out for my elongated bro.)

LAST TIME: Everyone had a beard! They tried to pick up their scattered lives after losing a year, and someone took over the bar, and the Ragman was attacked by some DC Universe character. Oh, and some unknown Big Bad apparently inspired Batman, which is the craziest damn thing I’ve heard since Batman fought some giant plant in the future or something. I don’t get Morrison at all.

Shadowpact #5: "One Year Later"

Who the hell built that monument? The only people who seemed to care that Shadowpact has been missing for a year was the Phantom Stranger, and he hadn’t given up on them yet, even having random ladies go on guard duty to look for them. Also, pigeon pooping on Blue Devil’s head!

LAST TIME: After getting captured, the team is set free by some moron who changes side for no reason, and then Nightshade saves the day by capturing pretty much anyone. Then some magic happens and it’s a year later, and everyone suddenly has a beard. Even the women! (Not actually the women.)

Shadowpact #3: "The (Short) Year of Living Dangerously"

Yeah, right. The monthly book named Shadowpact totally killed off its central team and replaced them a team of nobodies in their third issue. That must be what happened. I totally believe you, Strega. (Man, screw everyone who calls themselves Strega.)

LAST TIME: Shadowpact broke into the blood dome and proceeded to get their ass kicked by the bad guy expy team, but for a perfectly reasonable reason, they can't kill them, so they are going to chain them up instead. That's all. It's a pretty decompressed read.

Shadowpact #2: "Pentacle"

Oh Detective Chimp looks so scared! Don’t try to stab him with a knife! Also, I like how they managed to get almost everyone on here, except the only person who actually got in a fight last issue. I guess we’ve already seen that?

LAST ISSUE: There’s some kind of blood bubble over a boring Colorado town, Superman can’t deal, so instead the magic squad goes in and they still haven’t come out yet. It’s been like a year. What the heck is going on in there? Are they having a party?

Shadowpact #1: "Death in a Small Town"

There is but one reason and one reason alone I am reading Shadowpact. Okay two. The first being I just finished a Marvel story, so I should wait until I go after Trouble (Oh yes, it’s coming). But the second is Detective Chimp. Who doesn’t love Detective Chimp? He’s a monkey who wears a deerstalker! There are also five other guys here though…and I only really recognize Blue Devil, also known as like the only Christian in the DC universe. So of course he looks like a devil. So let’s meet all these other guys, huh?