LAST TIME: Holy shit the Yakuza showed up and shot guns! And then there was a completely bullshit gun fight and a lesbian got stabbed and some background character suddenly got a ton of background development. We learn that alcohol controls pretty much every character, and also that when your story starts to drag, it’s perfectly acceptable to throw in a rocket launcher.
0:43 Hey! It’s Charlie! What’s up, Charlie?
0:54 Oh, using your knowledge of the greatest conspiracy on Earth to pick up chicks.
1:15 An image search for "quantum physicist genius" you say? Well, this is what came up first in MY search:
2:27 The real thing? You think he doesn’t have a penis?
2:45 Okay nerds, listen, this is not at sexy as you think it is. It is, in fact, anti-sexy.
3:40 Wait wait wait, this girl hasn’t heard of Schrödinger’s Cat before? What is she, nine?
4:16 She’s using it as a metaphor for her vagina!
5:23 Oh shit! The wife just said she loves him! That means she completely hates him now, based on the stupid game these jerks have played with each other in the first two episodes (that the writers have apparently forgot about).
7:00 Thank you for establishing the day. Apparently this kid with no noticeable sickness has been in the lab for three weeks.
7:23 I’m just going to walk this way, nobody will notice!
8:15 Lesbian Agent is going to live, by the way. Assumedly, her first stop is the sperm bank.
9:31 Wait, the FBI agents killed two people?! How did they manage to get back on the other side of the country so fast? They should have been wrapped up in paperwork for days!
10:46 I’m going to employ my craziest eyes while I tell you I want to spend every moment with you!
11:17 Wait what? They flew the corpses to LA? Why?
12:04 Jesus, Mosiac is like the worst aspects of Facebook. Well, except Farmville, I guess.
13:09 The only costume available was a Lil’ John costume? I find that extremely unlikely.
14:22 You yell at me for being a drunk, I give you a dollar in quarters, we are even.
15:28 Ha ha! It’s funny when people joke while they are experiencing catatonic shock!
16:17 Oh, okay. The corpses they visited were the ones FBI Lesbian killed.
16:59 You guys don’t want to visit Baltimore? Are you afraid of running into Omar?
17:15 Stop showing us this super terrible animated show you created. It looks really bad.
17:45 Beardo is dressed is a Jedi! And the kangaroo is still loose after three weeks! I enjoy both these things!
19:27 And Charlie managed to plow the blonde. Good for him.
20:26 So hey, I enjoy the coitus, let me tell you about the murder I’m going to do in the future.
21:44 I will kill you if you don’t listen to the crazy ramblings of some 12-year-old kid I just met!
23:14 Obviously, the ability to handle a large amount of alcohol is proof that one can handle being shot in the stomach.
24:00 Check out my rockin’ pimp costume! I’m nine!
24:48 OH GOD! OH GOD! Men in Crispin Glover masks just walking around suburban LA!
25:28 Yes, that is TOTALLY the same hand. Despite the fact that one of them is skeletal and one is not and the one has two expended fingers.
27:11 It was just a teenager goofing around? Why did he run from someone who said he was FBI? Egging houses isn’t in their jurisdiction.
29:04 Excuse me, I somehow managed to find where my son was going despite the fact that there was no way I could have heard where he was going.
32:00 This means this stupid subplot is over, right? They will go away and never come back? Right?
33:12 Jesus there is a lot of blood in this house. And corpses! Lot of corpses!
33:28 Two by two. Hands of blue.
34:28 Are you serious with this? The lesbian is suddenly extremely upset that the deadly accident damaged her womb?
36:01 “Come on, come on, Mark!” Realize that this subplot is completely retarded, and the ONLY one that is actually being developed.
37:05 How has the lying started? He can’t lie about something that hasn’t happened yet.
38:36 So the real lesson here is autistic kids ruin everything.
39:51 What? Screw you with your Beatles cover. I don’t want to hear it.
41:08 Oh man, this pose is really uncomfortable. Is the shot over yet? Ow ow my neck.
41:51 AH SHIT ZOMBIE!
41:58 Oh, it’s Charlie in a mask. And…apparently he murdered the blonde.
42:24 Twenty million people died? Holy shit. That is not slim pickings. Shouldn’t we be seeing some repercussions in industry and whatever? Oh, and apparently Adulterer Guy was involved.
Verdict: Well, okay. The adultery subplot has come to a fore and some more nonsense involving corpses. I mean, I guess it sucks that people are dead, but man, nothing is being proven yet. It seems to be limping along, and they seem to completely forget about the gunfight last week. No clues at all involving that? Really? Just a clumsy introduction to another plot point?
*FlashForward is available on Netflix InstantWatch and Hulu. FlashForward is property of the American Broadcasting Company.
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