Yeah sure okay, how about throwing a little bit of Native American mythology into the mix. Heck, let’s just go full Neil Gaiman and just start making up all kinds of things. Amaterasu can show up and starting hitting dudes with lightning, Baron Samedi can show up with the hat and be all suave and shit, and then Enlil will show up and wonder why nobody knows who he is.
LAST TIME: The FBI visited a death club (with bullets) and basically mucked shit up. Then the black FBI agent TOTALLY COMMITED SUICIDE to save the life of some lady that he didn’t even know, nor really understood how he killed her. But that means that all bets are off, and frankly anything can happen now. Also, Nurse Guy becomes friends with the Babysitter, who is suddenly really into manga, even though she doesn‘t know what kanji looks like.
0:42 Ah yes, how about a little rock musical interlude starting with some guy delivering mail.
1:20 For half a second there, I thought the singer was not actually singing English.
1:49 Wait, wait, wait, this is the FIRST time that someone tried to change the future, to the point that the letter Al wrote is front page news?
2:25 Um, I’m pretty sure putting up that flyer for a religious institution is against the workspace code.
3:25 Man I hate when people do that. Attach a .PDF to the e-mail instead of just writing what they want you to know in the body.
3:58 I think I need a little time off, so I’m going to QUIT MY JOB in this likely extremely endemic job market. Rethink this, lady.
4:52 You can NOT have a baby…I mean, you never felt like having one and aren’t exactly in a good position to have one.
5:25 Wait, this guy is a genius? Then why does he know magic tricks?
6:03 Oooh, the big bad is a lady.
7:49 How did a cell phone pick up a video with high enough fidelity to zoom into someone’s arm to see a tattoo?
8:43 I got your wife some flowers! I could have just had someone delivery them instead of have them sitting out of water for eight hours until you get home, but whatever.
9:51 What? She waited until she got back to the office to open up the present she got from her husband at a hotel miles away?
10:54 You could maybe see a therapist about your PSTD? Or maybe, explain HOW YOU ARE ALIVE?!
12:18 Jesus! The autism kid is still in the hospital after two months? How good is the dad’s insurance? He doesn’t appear to have an actual job. (Unless cartoonish villainy pays really well.)
13:42 Why is the professional doctor not wearing any pants?
14:34 Apparently Charlie wants to bet the secrets of his evil organization over a game of Texas Hold ‘Em. He must have really liked Casino Royale.
15:26 Hey, I can’t help but notice that you haven’t actually cordoned off the murder scene.
16:03 Who are these other two idiots at the poker table? What happens if one of them wins?
17:01 Bird’s Plus, we provide all of the plusses for your bird.
18:43 Inevitability Index? The hell is that? What could it possibly be?
19:16 Can this guy speak in something besides nonsense Latin phrases?
20:23 Charlie is going to kill the babysitter? Why?
21:10 OH! This is the babysitter working at the hospital! I didn’t recognize you because you didn’t have this job for the first six episodes. (Yes, this was properly established last episode, and I just missed it because I didn’t recognize her in a ponytail. That’s on me. However, she suddenly manifests the ability to speak Japanese to further some dude’s plot point, so I stand by all the big accusations I said last episode.)
22:05 Beardo’s daughters are way too cute to believably be his. And his ex-wife has blonde hair. How do they both have straight black hair?
24:06 I…didn’t understand that ‘slip’ statement for half a second, then I remembered everyone is an alcoholic.
24:58 Yes, Jericho, Military contractor, also a television show that had more of a future than we ever will. Hell, thousands of teabags couldn’t save that show.
26:19 I literally do not understand what Doctor Wife is worried about. Unless she is brainwashed into falling in love with this guy that she hates with a passion, there’s no way her future will come true.
28:02 Hey my alcoholic father! Is there any chance that you could put some bourbon in my tea?
28:55 Hey doofus. You are both going to be held captive by Jericho in your future. Put it together.
30:16 So these are birds, huh? How many plusses do they have?
32:05 That was obviously a hawk that hit a window, based on the sound. As she probably doesn’t have a goddamn hawk in her pet store.
33:15 Can we stop with the flashforwards quickcuts for a minute?
34:32 And we can’t try to catch that other guy like we tried to catch this guy. I mean, there’s only seven minutes left in the episode.
35:56 Why don’t we, for a bit of dramatic super tension, have me going completely all-in, even though I’m winning by a buttload and there’s no real reason for me to risk everything like this?
37:07 Wait, he cheated? How? How did he know that he could get a straight flush? From what was on the table?
38:14 Lady! Come on! You don’t actually want a baby! You’re a confident, young, attractive lesbian! Go make out with karate chick some more.
38:50 Well…no, the image can’t be enhanced, because it comes from a stadium security camera, and this is about as good as it gets without making stuff up. (Stop enhancing photos, show.)
40:15 That’s right, there is literally one man, in all the world, with a triple star tattoo on his arm. Let’s have everyone believe that, shall we?
40:53 YES! OBVIOUSLY! There are literally hundreds of these three star jerks!
41:17 And apparently their boss is the Penguin.
41:53 I’m not going to name Oppenheimer’s colleague, because obvious Oppenheimer was the only one at the first nuclear bomb test worth any value, and who knows when he had time to say something awesome after Oppenheimer, but anyway, BANG!
Verdict: Man, they sure got over the suicide of their good friend and coworker really easily. Didn’t even have to call in Disaster Assistance Specialists. They also keep setting up more things without any real reason to, like the poster in the beginning of the episode and this three star organization finding the Makluan rings. Hell, if magic powers are involved, that’d be kinda stupid, so I’m for it. Also, where the hell has Gina Torres been?
*FlashForward is available on Netflix InstantWatch and Hulu. FlashForward is property of the American Broadcasting Company.
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