Klondike Bar: 5 Seconds to Glory

I don't have to say it, right? I don't have to say how remarkably sexist this is, and how it implies that listening to your wife, the woman you have agreed to love and cherish forever, is a goddamn chore that is hardly worth doing unless there is a goddamn reward. How the advertising agencies of America seem to believe that every man is incompetent, lazy, and insensitive, and it's funny, FUNNY, to continue to perpetuate this terrible stereotype. How absolutely stupid this entire campaign is, and how it really should have ended ten years ago, because by god, every skit show has already taken the "What would you do?" campaign to task for being remarkably stupid, as the only rational answer is "Pay $1.99 to the clerk at 7-11."

But okay.

Klondike Bar: We'll require you to do things that have never occured to you, you sociopathic asshole.