Netflix Synopsis: Using the powers of a magical stone he discovered, Dr. Crumb transforms his house into a hot-air balloon so that he and his heroic -- and brainy -- companions can pursue monsters in this enchanting animated feature.
What’s up? A copyright infringement lawsuit? Ah dang. Also, here’s hoping this isn’t one of those fake out CGI covers that’s actually a lazy Flash cartoon. Also, over/under on the plot including a talking dog?
0:02 At least give us a sting or something!
0:26 Is…is this the show? Is the entire show going to be shown with this TV border around it?
1:07 Scientists…typically not called warriors.
1:30 Amanda tends to avoid the press, which is why we are stalking her from the bushes.
2:23 Maybe get an interview or something for your boring gossip show about local celebrities.
3:00 We are watching two people watching TV! Get on with it!
3:33 Why is there a flashing [REC] in the corner and a focusing frame on this picture? This TV station couldn’t afford an actual television camera?
4:55 We found a rock that could hypnosis the entire world! It was a great idea to tell everyone in the world about it!
5:51 Well, I can’t imagine we can't have the reporter dick around with this device that I just said can destroy the world.
6:32 You gave three excuses for why that was a terrible idea that don’t make any sense.
7:10 Yeah, that joke was old hat in Dumbo.
7:32 Going to the beach does not equal seeing the entire world!
8:04 There are remote controls for their chairs?
9:02 I have a monster that needs to be chased, so I came to you guys, the Monster Chaser. (The actual joke they made.)
9:50 I know the entire Amazon! Every inch of it!
10:40 They are in the same room as you, dipshit! Keep your evil plans to yourself.
11:23 I completely trust that guy I met like two hours ago, based entirely on his word!
12:02 It’s a boom box with a couple of lights on it. Terrifying.
12:39 How can an ordinary rock have a password? Wouldn’t it require some kind of interface?
13:14 A guy’s hot air balloon just crashed into the movie. I don’t think he’s actually supposed to be here.
13:49 You are standing next to the way out! It’s just covered with rocks somehow.
14:25 The French smell you say? I haven’t heard that stereotype before.
15:03 He dropped the rock and it totally exploded!
15:13 And now a bunch of monsters just appeared for no reason! This has totally flipped its shit.
16:16 So, no explanation on how they got out of the cave? Just…no longer an issue?
17:05 Oh good, that hot air balloonist was in fact supposed to be there.
17:25 Why did they take the monster with them? Just leave it!
17:37 Oh, just standing on the porch thousands of feet in the air, with absolutely no support!
18:17 Is that guy jealous that his niece is hitting on a guy?
19:00 Crème de le crème is not a food! It’s an expression!
19:29 And monsters are usually so agreeable when we politely ask them to return home and not kill us.
21:08 Hm, apparently the Eiffel Tower is in the middle of a giant field.
21:53 He literally defeated the monster within 20 seconds. I think he’s got this covered.
22:56 Your little brother is asleep now, let’s start totally macking.
23:54 That…that was right. That was proper grammar. Weird.
24:35 They turn into gremlins?
25:44 That is Sleepy Time Tea, I’m going to assume. Although I don’t understand why they have poison in their house.
27:14 He needs that. How will he defeat the monster without his pith helmet?
27:33 Wait, what? I thought they sent the little kid to his room. What is doing here?
28:00 The demon is playing hopscotch with himself.
29:08 I’m a monster! Continue to pay attention to me.
29:31 Hey this isn’t a racist caricature at all. Also, why is he not fleeing in terror?
30:24 Let’s lightly lower the anvil to the ground instead of, you know, dropping it on the monster’s head.
31:11 They have an Oreo costume around for just such an occasion. Also, this was the plan?! Use the kid as bait?
31:32 There’s no way the monster will fit in that cage! Or that a single balloon could hold it.
32:35 I’m just going to plop down on any old bed, it’s not like this is a stranger’s house or anything.
33:10 Why did they capture the Chinese guy?! And how has he not been ripped to shreds?
33:42 Fortune cookie, get it?! LOLOLOLOLOL I’m not racist!
34:58 Before when? Before they poisoned you? Why would it matter?
35:39 Yeah, snuck in behind you guys. You really should pay more attention.
36:26 Why is trying to fart? You were not asked to fart!
26:57 You don’t need to hypnotize people in order to find out where the airport is. Just get a smartphone.
37:23 Just petting my rock, like one typically does.
37:49 See, that’s why you don’t stand on the outside of your flying house holding a valuable object. Just stay inside!
38:05 …why would the kid intentionally jump off the house? That seems a terrible plan.
38:39 Apparently balloons work exactly like jetpacks in this universe.
39:34 Throw a rock at him! He’s being a racist dick! He can’t even be bothered to remember your name!
40:14 Um, Sailor Moon transformation scene, apparently.
41:10 Why was that guy hiding behind the monsters? Actually, where the fuck was he a few minutes ago? Was he taking a piss?
41:50 Haha! We totally doomed him to death in another dimension, for which he will never return!
42:17 YES! It’s called due process, you murdering asshole.
43:07 I saved the day with racism!
43:36 Oh good, they did not forget about the Chinese guy. They just had to give us a few more stereotypes, is all.
44:22 I’ll just hang out here in my personal void, I guess.
Verdict: Well that sucked more than I thought it would! The plot was border thin, the characters were obnoxious, the McGuffin didn’t make any sense, and I will say it one more time, the way they treat that Chinese guy was racist as shit. But…no talking dogs, so I just lost five bucks.
What’s up? A copyright infringement lawsuit? Ah dang. Also, here’s hoping this isn’t one of those fake out CGI covers that’s actually a lazy Flash cartoon. Also, over/under on the plot including a talking dog?
0:02 At least give us a sting or something!
0:26 Is…is this the show? Is the entire show going to be shown with this TV border around it?
1:07 Scientists…typically not called warriors.
1:30 Amanda tends to avoid the press, which is why we are stalking her from the bushes.
2:23 Maybe get an interview or something for your boring gossip show about local celebrities.
3:00 We are watching two people watching TV! Get on with it!
3:33 Why is there a flashing [REC] in the corner and a focusing frame on this picture? This TV station couldn’t afford an actual television camera?
4:55 We found a rock that could hypnosis the entire world! It was a great idea to tell everyone in the world about it!
5:51 Well, I can’t imagine we can't have the reporter dick around with this device that I just said can destroy the world.
6:32 You gave three excuses for why that was a terrible idea that don’t make any sense.
7:10 Yeah, that joke was old hat in Dumbo.
7:32 Going to the beach does not equal seeing the entire world!
8:04 There are remote controls for their chairs?
9:02 I have a monster that needs to be chased, so I came to you guys, the Monster Chaser. (The actual joke they made.)
9:50 I know the entire Amazon! Every inch of it!
10:40 They are in the same room as you, dipshit! Keep your evil plans to yourself.
11:23 I completely trust that guy I met like two hours ago, based entirely on his word!
12:02 It’s a boom box with a couple of lights on it. Terrifying.
12:39 How can an ordinary rock have a password? Wouldn’t it require some kind of interface?
13:14 A guy’s hot air balloon just crashed into the movie. I don’t think he’s actually supposed to be here.
13:49 You are standing next to the way out! It’s just covered with rocks somehow.
14:25 The French smell you say? I haven’t heard that stereotype before.
15:03 He dropped the rock and it totally exploded!
15:13 And now a bunch of monsters just appeared for no reason! This has totally flipped its shit.
16:16 So, no explanation on how they got out of the cave? Just…no longer an issue?
17:05 Oh good, that hot air balloonist was in fact supposed to be there.
17:25 Why did they take the monster with them? Just leave it!
17:37 Oh, just standing on the porch thousands of feet in the air, with absolutely no support!
18:17 Is that guy jealous that his niece is hitting on a guy?
19:00 Crème de le crème is not a food! It’s an expression!
19:29 And monsters are usually so agreeable when we politely ask them to return home and not kill us.
21:08 Hm, apparently the Eiffel Tower is in the middle of a giant field.
21:53 He literally defeated the monster within 20 seconds. I think he’s got this covered.
22:56 Your little brother is asleep now, let’s start totally macking.
23:54 That…that was right. That was proper grammar. Weird.
24:35 They turn into gremlins?
25:44 That is Sleepy Time Tea, I’m going to assume. Although I don’t understand why they have poison in their house.
27:14 He needs that. How will he defeat the monster without his pith helmet?
27:33 Wait, what? I thought they sent the little kid to his room. What is doing here?
28:00 The demon is playing hopscotch with himself.
29:08 I’m a monster! Continue to pay attention to me.
29:31 Hey this isn’t a racist caricature at all. Also, why is he not fleeing in terror?
30:24 Let’s lightly lower the anvil to the ground instead of, you know, dropping it on the monster’s head.
31:11 They have an Oreo costume around for just such an occasion. Also, this was the plan?! Use the kid as bait?
31:32 There’s no way the monster will fit in that cage! Or that a single balloon could hold it.
32:35 I’m just going to plop down on any old bed, it’s not like this is a stranger’s house or anything.
33:10 Why did they capture the Chinese guy?! And how has he not been ripped to shreds?
33:42 Fortune cookie, get it?! LOLOLOLOLOL I’m not racist!
34:58 Before when? Before they poisoned you? Why would it matter?
35:39 Yeah, snuck in behind you guys. You really should pay more attention.
36:26 Why is trying to fart? You were not asked to fart!
26:57 You don’t need to hypnotize people in order to find out where the airport is. Just get a smartphone.
37:23 Just petting my rock, like one typically does.
37:49 See, that’s why you don’t stand on the outside of your flying house holding a valuable object. Just stay inside!
38:05 …why would the kid intentionally jump off the house? That seems a terrible plan.
38:39 Apparently balloons work exactly like jetpacks in this universe.
39:34 Throw a rock at him! He’s being a racist dick! He can’t even be bothered to remember your name!
40:14 Um, Sailor Moon transformation scene, apparently.
41:10 Why was that guy hiding behind the monsters? Actually, where the fuck was he a few minutes ago? Was he taking a piss?
41:50 Haha! We totally doomed him to death in another dimension, for which he will never return!
42:17 YES! It’s called due process, you murdering asshole.
43:07 I saved the day with racism!
43:36 Oh good, they did not forget about the Chinese guy. They just had to give us a few more stereotypes, is all.
44:22 I’ll just hang out here in my personal void, I guess.
Verdict: Well that sucked more than I thought it would! The plot was border thin, the characters were obnoxious, the McGuffin didn’t make any sense, and I will say it one more time, the way they treat that Chinese guy was racist as shit. But…no talking dogs, so I just lost five bucks.
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