LAST TIME: Darla can travel through time now, and goes to a dark future where her family is hunted by the government and also rolls around in the dirt at one point. But through a series of a completely reasonable actions, they avoided that. Also, Mystique is back from the dead and trying to steal Marcia’s baby.
0:07 You guys changed the opening for the last episode? Too little too late, dummies.
0:43 Meanwhile, in a terrifying situation!
1:17 I realized that I was not dorky enough, so I decided to take up skateboarding with a helmet. Lolz!
2:03 Sorry, just took a really hard drag on my hookah.
3:01 Oh hey, I just realized who was Lucy Lawless. It’s this evil new character who used to ride in the limousine. I told you I won’t recognize her.
3:53 He’s dead from no obvious cause!
4:13 She moved? Where? Why? How?
4:42 This is getting beyond flirtatious. Why didn’t he make his move before she had a baby with superpowers?
5:44 Oh by the way, that makes three of three tertiary adult characters who were killed off. Poor guys.
7:07 Hello, I’m a bad guy, I speak exclusively in electricity puns.
7:40 Oh by the way, I no longer travel into the future when I go into superspeed, don’t worry about it.
8:14 Didn’t he get fired? What the hell is he still doing in his office?
8:54 Oh, the Big Bad also has superpowers. Apparently his powers were to be supersmug and pointless.
9:46 Now that we have this huge, unmanageable problem on the way, we finally have a chance to live a normal life.
10:55 Oh…the special serum that gives everyone random superpowers was designed exclusively to slow down cancer. Makes sense?
12:05 Cool place bro. Check out all the out-of-date video games.
13:25 Oh hey, when did they kidnap Minion? WAIT A MINUTE! Mystique! OH NO!
14:16 This lady has got to stop doing that. At least Mystique had a reasonable if stupid excuse to want to look like herself occasionally.
16:26 Didn’t we do this already? Didn’t Darla already crack the code to the super serum?
17:04 And you missed a couple of days of work? How do you explain away taking a couple of days off just because you got mugged?
17:43 Is it raining inside this building? The hell? Even if that’s intentional, how is that not a huge pain in the ass?
18:15 Stop yelling at me, lady!
18:41 These guys with guns hide behind the pillars just in case someone they don’t know walks in here!
19:22 Really? That seemed like a pretty reasonable trick.
20:22 Hang on, I thought this guy was an assassin only. What is he doing loading stuff onto a cargo plane in Peru?
20:58 Hold up, this is her first trimester? How does she look so pregnant? And how does her baby look so complete in her womb?
21:44 The guy with electric powers isn’t immune to electric shock? He was such a great villain, you guys. So memorable.
22:44 When I’m a super villain, I too will rig all my elevators with sleeping gas. Easiest plan, really.
24:26 I really wish I knew why this lady wants to create superhero permanence. So her people can effectively rob banks?
25:31 What do you mean what if she’s not? You have proof that she’s alive!
26:27 Oh she looked really sad…
26:43 It’s been what? Four hours? Nobody has even checked on these unconscious guys?
27:20 I thought he figured out that the plane crash was the cause of superpower permanence already? Why did he need a dramatic flashback for that?
28:14 And then the henchmen dutifully feeds each of them a bullet…
28:35 How the hell did the Big Bad get here? We…totally would have seen him.
29:23 WHAT IS MINION’S REAL NAME?! It is not Joshua!
30:15 Ug! This guy is still a bad guy? What a dick. Also, how did they take away his superpowers exactly?
32:07 Yo, pro tip, telling a woman her husband is dead is not going to help you get her into bed.
33:05 Do you not know where the furniture is in your own house?! Oh wait, never mind, they covered this by having her move. Clever!
33:34 Yeah good luck with that! (Mystique flees the scene for no reason.)
34:46 There were some bowling pins in that crate, apparently.
35:07 Oh that was Big Bad’s superpower. Invulnerability. Huh.
35:24 It’s true! It’s only been like two and a half months. There is NO WAY that baby is ready to be born.
36:23 Hang on hang on. The Big Bad has ALL their superpowers? Since when?
37:15 This is a great plan! Except for the part where it takes a week for the antidote to work.
37:53 You hit him in the eye? Well that’s not going to work. There’s no blood streams in the eye.
38:16 Oh never mind, he turned into a mummy.
38:40 And in case you wanted more horrible death, the baby apparently died.
38:58 OH NO I was lying! It’s alive and it’s an alien!
39:26 Meanwhile, on the set of Con Air…
40:11 Ummm….so, they are going to literally cause a plane crash in order to give all of these criminals permanent superpowers? That is the stupidest plan.
41:39 Sure is a good thing that absolutely nobody died during this completely real plane crash.
42:05 Oh shit title drop!
Verdict: OOPS! Show’s over and cancelled. Hope you weren’t interested in where this was going. That was a pretty good set-up too! The government recruits the family because there’s suddenly a batch of super villains (including MC Skat Kat) that is running rampant. I have no idea why, but hey, it was a good lead-in to a second season. Too bad everything that happened before was kinda bullshit. The characters were unlikable, a lot of the plot points didn’t make any sense (Why did this CEO want to create super criminals?), and they had to keep bending the rules to keep the show interesting. If they didn’t pad it so much, maybe? I kinda wanted to see their government-mandated costumes too.
No comments:
Post a Comment