LAST TIME: The alpha wolf gets beat up and it causes some serious shit, including the sheriff figuring out werewolves exist and being totally okay with burying the secret. The vampires have a tiff, and it ends with one of them being murdered. And the succubus broke up with her boring boyfriend. So no idea what this one will be about.
0:35 What the, did they change the title? Oh no, establishing shot, never mind.
0:57 The sheriff is going to the bank!
1:45 Hang on a minute…this kinda looks like a crime. Are you doing a crime, sheriff?
2:12 AH DAMN That was a flash forward. I hate these.
2:50 With a bunch of strangers…who also might be werewolves.
3:18 Is there a reason you’re doing magic tricks for your teenage son? Beside the fact that you’re kind of an idiot.
3:59 And for some reason she’s staring at your desk while standing awkwardly instead of sitting down or something. I think she might be a zombie.
4:48 Hey parents, is there a reason you dressed me up like an American Girl doll this morning?
5:34 Now, I’m off to do nothing in particular, since people still don’t know what my job is.
6:33 Oh hey, lady cop is back! How was your vacation?
7:07 Serious question, how many FBI agents work alone? This lady seems shady, by Grady.
7:57 It’s…it’s pot. She put pot in your brownies, cancer patient.
8:48 HMM! Apparently dark magic can cure AIDS. HMM!
9:10 Hey guys, check out how stupid my hat is. Cool, right?
9:40 And…WHY isn’t she taking her medicine yet? Does she have a legitimate reason besides “ew, nausea is gross.”
11:23 You guys should get out of there, it has a scary movie soundtrack.
12:18 OH MAN, it appears that this guy forges false identities for vampires. That’s pretty impressive.
13:10 Also, neither of us need to be staring at this screen, it kinda does what it does automatically.
14:07 I’m just a extremely pretty lady who is too wrapped up in her job to settle down. I’m a regular romantic comedy character over here.
15:20 Are these two going to make out? They should make out. I’m okay with them making out.
15:58 I mean, seriously, it has been 15 minutes since she started trying to crack this code, give her a break.
16:38 IS LADY COP A VAMPIRE?! Oh what, hang on, that’s boring. Let her be something more interesting than a vampire please.
17:47 When stealing something, be sure to stand in the incriminating area staring blankly into space for a full three seconds, just to make it easier to get caught.
18:44 Question: Why is the sheriff working some complacently with the vampires? Do they seriously have that much on him? They aren’t paying him!
19:47 OH, right. Because otherwise the vampires are going to kill the FBI agent.
20:14 Although, he’s acting as if this is a surprise to him, so…I really have no idea what the fuck is he doing.
21:26 Yep, still a-ok with this. I hope nobody ever talks to the succubus ever again!
22:08 So, they kiss and he passes out, like literally every single time she’s kissed a dude. What do you know?
23:05 She needs to produce receipts? Does she have to start running expense reports past her family now?
23:48 Just re-up the bond! If that douche bag can break it so easily, obviously you can fix it just as well.
25:16 OH! That’s why he did a magic trick at the beginning of the episode, so he could believably perform a magic trick here. Dumb set-up, guys.
26:04 Didn’t she already arrest him? How are they back at the police station?
26:50 Wait wait, the Lady Cop’s name is ACTUALLY Lady? I thought I was just joking around!
27:38 Also, you’ve been flirting with me non-stop for like a full day now, so I’m totally going to go along with anything you tell me.
28:13 Oh good Lady’s not a vampire.
28:30 Ug, her heart is in that dumb box of hers. She just told him “I had a boyfriend who ripped my heart out,” and we’re supposed to pretend to be surprised when we find out she was being literal.
30:02 It is so high quality dope, man! Just take a few puffs of this and all your stupid succubus worries will be miles away!
30:41 This apprentice witch isn’t dumb enough to think that you can just drink the stuff without treating it at all and it'll work, right?
31:16 Surprise! She’s not actually in the FBI. She’s actually a vampire.
31:47 Really, idiot? Really? They go through the effort of setting up a false flash drive for you and you go “Durp, that’s not mine.”
32:37 Sure, sure. Of course a vampire would have exposed wooden dowels up against the wall all over their house.
33:15 This flirting just got a whole lot more morbid. Dead sister morbid.
34:12 Wait, she still likes the sheriff’s son? You broke his heart, you literal demon!
35:05 Is it the Kissers? Because that’s a shitty name for a punk band.
35:21 UG! That was awful. Also, as far as I can tell, she started flirting with him this morning. She moves…fast.
36:06 Do you guys have a washroom? I got a little…blood on myself.
37:01 Is she really upset that she gets to be a vampire? Being a vampire is pretty cool, lady. Sure, she has to wear a lot more sunscreen, but…
38:01 The idiot sheriff gave her the flash drive anyway. Nice work, stupid, now they are going to kill you too.
39:20 And I’m sorry that we introduced this weird vampire bond thing to the mythology without explaining it.
40:14 But where will she live?! I don’t want to be a jerk, but I can’t imagine her holding a job.
40:40 DUN DUN DUN! That guy apparently survived burning to death!
Verdict: The succubus plot continues to go goddamn nowhere, and it sucks. This did raise a huge question about why the sheriff just helps all the monsters with their monster shit. Why was he willing to commit a crime here? And why didn't he ask to see a goddamn badge?
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