LAST TIME: Our heroes are idiots and helped some poor guy get killed by vampire Batman, and then felt really bad about it without even acknowledging that it was all their fault. Also, vampire Batman.
Page 1, Panel 3: A Moby Dick nightmare, also known as…the ocean.
Page 3, Panel 3: Oh, hey, here is everyone. Don’t know why they made a huge deal about them being split up, seems like a waste of a couple of pages.
Page 3, Panel 6: What is up with your hair, Donna Troy? How do you make it do that? And why does it look like that in this issue where it was normal in the previous issues?
Page 4, Panel 2: Bitchy piss fight number 87…
Page 4, Panel 5: I’d imagine…gears. Gears help this Gotham tick.
Page 5, Panel 4: Hey Batman! You look exactly the same. What’s up with that?
Page 6, Panel 6: Yeah, it’s cool, I don’t need to know what’s going on. Just keep everyone in the shadows.
Page 7, Panel 2: Period dress? You guys were flying in a magic ball of light earlier.
Page 7, Panel 3: …why? What’s with the weird deadline?
Page 7, Panel 5: Of course this world has a Batman. Why wouldn’t it have a Batman? Batman Batman Batman.
Page 8, Panel 5: Why would a cryptozoologist be an expert on bats? Why would a museum have a cryptozoology department? That shit is beyond fake.
Page 9, Panel 3: A skeptical cryptozoologist? Now I’ve seen everything. It’s almost as if the author doesn’t know what that word means.
Page 10, Panel 4: Christ, Donna. Don’t be a b. And why are you guys in your costumes again?
Page 11, Panel 2: Oh you know, just a grouping of prostitutes hanging out near an old-timey lamp. What do you call a grouping of prostitutes?
Page 12, Panel 5: Are they going to make out?
Page 13, Panel 2: BLUE BEETLE! Guys, you guys, Blue Beetle.
Page 13, Panel 3: This sure is a panel of something happening.
Page 13, Panel 5: Yeah…his dumb excuse was pretty unbelievable. Anyway, we are from a different universe.
Page 14, Panel 2: So…Blue Beetle just…let Ray Palmer tattoo him for no reason?
Page 14, Panel 3: No no, that was last year, B.B. Final Crisis is the one you’re building to.
Page 14, Panel 6: One of who? You are all here. Why are still talking about the vampire world?
Page 15, Panel 5: You guys could get a scone? Hang out in the city? Contract tetanus? No reason to just…stand there.
Page 16, Panel 3: Blue Beetle and Green Lantern are being preeety friendly to each other.
Page 17, Panel 4: What the hell is Kyle’s problem? Is he just being a big baby? (Oh, he’s sick, I remember him mentioning that.)
Page 18, Panel 4: Oh, nevermind, Jason Todd was right somehow. Green Lantern was possessed by bat creatures. Sure. And now he is a monster and he looks ridiculous.
Page 18, Panel 6: Apparently Bob knows. Bob is supersmooth like that.
Page 19, Panel 4: We will worry about hurting him later, when it’s convenient to hurt him.
Page 19, Panel 6: I waited until now to tell you because I wanted to see some exciting punching first.
Page 21, Panel 3: And everything is okay now!
Page 21, Panel 4: Oh yeah, that’s what happened. That sounds believable.
Page 22, Panel 1: Jason Todd really wants to live somewhere without running water, apparently.
Page 22, Panel 5: OH DEAR! Old-timey Blue Beetle is going to travel through the multiverse! Maybe he’s meet Booster Gold and they’ll be friends! I wonder what…oh, nevermind. They did jack shit with this. Great. Fantastic.
Verdict: Well at least they continued a plot in this one, even it was damn stupid. I don’t think that’s how vampires work, and I don’t know why they bothered to introduce this awesome version of Blue Beetle and then just dropped him like a hammer. Well, I haven’t seen the Jokester again either, so…
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