LAST TIME: The sheriff and the vampire stop some kind of murder, which was happening for reasons I didn’t understand. The succubus got back together with the werewolves, and the witch is totally doing something you guys. She might be evil! Maybe!
0:37 Finally! It’s about time they show the preppy-as-shit golf course that this town obviously has.
1:47 This is some dramatic discussion about sprinkler usage.
2:03 So intense that they had to break up a fight!
2:41 Is the camera man drunk, hold that thing still for a second?
3:39 That sure is a dead guy!
4:20 Rhona Mitra? That’s a weird name for a hospital.
4:45 What’s up, black guy who apparently was also in the room?
5:28 It would be just like the movie Underworld, and that series blows chunks.
6:08 The devil’s weed, used for the darkest of dark magic. Looks like daffodils for some reason.
6:40 Wait, who are you? Since when does the other witch have a daughter?
7:37 So…the werewolves and the vampires know each other exist, and yet that one guy hasn’t told the sheriff yet?
8:32 Man, I can’t wait for the sheriff’s son to grow a personality beyond kissing girls and passing out.
9:35 So…he spent the entire night, all ten hours, on a conference call?
10:06 He has a really lousy personality, nobody can stand his racist jokes.
10:54 They aren’t inside? Rich people have entire living rooms outside of their house? Man, screw rich people.
11:36 Oh well, blackmail you later! Have a good night!
12:00 This was the same guy who threw a man into a table over some sprinklers. Doesn’t sound that unreasonable, really.
13:05 They were as unperceptive as werewolves, sir.
14:40 I used protection. Werewolf protection.
15:03 The sheriff always looks like he is trying to look as casual as possible. His role model must be Columbo.
15:40 Also, Lucas, why do you have blonde hair when I have red hair and your father has black hair?
16:42 What the heck did we just see? Does he have a window on his floor?
17:24 You’re trying to shave her?
17:55 This guy realizes she’s married, right? With a kid?
19:17 Oh dear vampire stuff!
19:44 Wait, what the hell is he doing? He can’t make her a vampire again.
20:06 Someone entered and then left this room!
20:24 Dude, what is with your shirt? That is so dumb. You are wearing a dumb shirt.
21:37 Welp, I guess that’s over. Never have to focus on the succubus eeeeeever again.
22:15 So…this is rape, right? He just vampire raped her. This is fucking serious.
23:39 WOW that is harsh, bro. I mean jeez, she kinda went through a traumatic experience.
24:18 Does he not have that other guy’s number?
25:22 This whole show is suddenly revolving around cell phones.
25:42 That’s kinda how break-ups work, lady.
26:37 Yeah, pretty sure she doesn’t understand what your creepy veins signify.
27:10 Did he just pass out for no reason?
27:52 Wait what?! She needs the pills to live? Since when? Why haven’t you fucking told her that?
28:44 These people are loud talkers.
29:28 That sure is an excuse that I am going to use in the future. “I’m sorry, I thought you were a vampire.”
30:11 The sheriff’s mind is about to explode. “Oh fuck, werewolves too? What’s next, mummies?” (Please let there be mummies.)
31:04 We’ll have ourselves a monster UN.
31:33 Werewolves don’t use headphones?
32:56 Oh okay, so the son did it. Cool. That secret is totally worth starting a war over.
33:54 Our hero, everyone! Ignoring the crap out problems.
34:49 Oh hell, I just realized that she is essentially Rogue. BAH!
35:14 BWEH! Don’t do that! That’s gross! Put the scissors away!
36:08 I don’t know if I like this gritty reboot of the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme.
36:47 Wait, so…it was a regular pail of water? Not even holy water?
37:34 Oh…he’s wiping off the sunscreen. Because vampires in this universe wear sunscreen to walk around during the day. Because that’s not fucking stupid.
38:46 Still cannot believe that that dickhead was the alpha wolf. What a dumb problem.
39:52 So…is the bond fixed now? Follow-up question, what the hell is a vampire bond? For a show about monsters, they don’t explain the rules very well.
40:43 Just going to sit out here and drink my beer by myself for another minute, for no reason.
41:22 Oh right, this guy is racist against vampires.
42:19 Hehehe, we got one legitimate wolf change this episode and of course it happened behind a pillar. That is the greatest dumb thing.
Verdict: Okay, good, all the chips on the table now. Sheriff knows about pretty much everything (except the witches and whatever lady cop’s deal is) and lot of subplots are pretty wrapped. Wonder where they are going now? Maybe witch stuff? Probably witch stuff.
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