See? See, it says so right in the description. Totally unrelated. Don’t know why you thought this might be related to this last summer’s blockbuster. What’s wrong with you? Are you on drugs?
0:08 Phase 4 Films: You guys have anything you want to show us? We will probably take it.
0:58 Sure, sure go ahead and pretend this concept is attributed to anyone besides the fine folks at Pixar.
1:49 Who are these talking heads? Why are there talking heads?
2:13 “How many times do I have to tell you to be more like Dream Zone?”
3:18 I did not know that Star Wars Galaxies offered camera capture services.
3:53 HEY! HEY! King! We can’t see anything from here! Is something happening?
4:37 Supercloud. Makes people the King of Dreamzone. Don’t question anything ever.
5:24 This guy has Dracula just hanging out in his secret lab! Dracula!
6:20 He’s over there laughing maniacally, he won’t notice.
7:12 You added fettuccini to your secret world-changing formula?
8:07 Really? He seems pretty great, in retrospect. He can cast lightning from his mouth! Go go Supercloud!
9:16 It’s okay, I don’t need to know what is going on at all, ever. Just keep doing whatever.
9:44 His tail turns into a net?
10:32 Let’s hug it out!
10:54 Oh good, imagination sequences, these aren’t major wastes of time.
11:25 Who is this nerdlinger? And why does he hang out with planets?
12:42 Yeah, what’s to become of Supercloud? Maybe he’ll, I don’t know, get into a good college or something?
13:25 AH! He aged like 12 years overnight! And has a…magic vacuum?
14:12 Oh right, we are still in the Dreamzone. And suddenly it’s a high school drama.
14:43 Oh dear everyone is dead!
15:11 Apparently being really good at something is cause to get kicked out of school?
15:51 Sure, mud dragons. Yeah, whatever, mud dragons.
16:27 Oh fuck rapping. Worse than musical numbers.
16:54 Thanks Gandalf!
17:40 You are obviously a latchkey kid. I feel compelled to make sure you have no safety net.
18:15 Of course the Internet is well-aware of his entire past. It’s the Internet.
19:01 Is there a bunch of weird shit flying through the air? Because I am the idiot protagonist, and I can’t tell.
19:39 Woo! Sparkle dance party!
20:07 Oh what is up, title character?! Where the hell have you been?
21:06 Behold! Some bullshit!
21:38 I didn’t notice you there for the past 90 seconds. What’s up, bro?
22:33 She sure loves the destruction of our modern infrastructure.
23:16 Is…is Supercloud drunk?
23:50 Yeah don’t you just ask him!
24:48 So…this is what it’s like to raised by two gay monster dads, huh? Just everyone talking really slowly to each other.
25:42 Maybe don’t hatch your evil plan in front of this kid who probably has a conscience.
26:12 They are just straight up punching each other in the face now.
26:46 Oh fuck, a pirate.
26:56 HA! It’s Destiny’s Child.
27:21 I think you should not be in the movie anymore. I am already sick of you.
27:37 Hey guys, remember this scene from the second Pirates of the Carribean movie? Well, we’re just going to throw it in without any goddamn explanation.
29:24 What the hell is that thing on his shoulder? It looks like a head crab.
30:02 CFC warriors? Wait? Is this anti-pollution propaganda? This is the worst place for it.
31:27 Oh those boys. I was wondering who they were talking about. Also, who the fuck are these assholes?
32:43 Let’s listen to this Hercules-looking jerk who just showed up without even introducing himself.
33:47 Oh, apparently literally everyone can fly.
34:11 But those guys are dicks. Let them die.
35:09 Wait…if one of them dared the other, why on Earth did they all go?
36:05 Maybe just do it already instead of explaining it.
36:30 Wait…I thought you were creating an ice sheet. That is clearly a tornado.
37:12 That’s the rule! Save a man’s life, friends forever. Ask them to help you move, they have to do it!
38:04 Don’t be a dick, Mesmerizer! He saved their lives!
38:42 So, this omnipotent jerk knew he went to the Black Hole, but didn’t even know what happened there because his bullshit detector was broken?
39:26 Oops, guess they didn’t really want to play that song anyway.
40:30 United efforts? What the hell has Robe Guy done? This doctor has done pretty much all the work.
42:08 Hey, we were released from prison! Time for some hugs!
42:46 No, that is not “cool.” Snow deserts are dumb.
43:11 Haven’t we covered this? I thought he already said that shit is going wrong.
43:56 Of course he has a magic cellphone.
44:15 What? Why would he need a vehicle? Supercloud can goddamn fly.
45:01 Maybe go lie down or something. Have you guys never been sick before?
45:32 Wait…who are those guys? How does the bad guy suddenly have an army now?
46:48 They were hanging out in the Tron bathroom.
47:28 Yeah, you show that one guy. Ignore the other dozen or so guys in the room who are actually capturing the king.
48:23 Answer the phone!
49:44 FLY! You can fly! Why are you running?
50:01 Jesus, what the fuck happened here? Did he believe for a second things were okay here?
50:56 But…adults do? What is with these weird rules about Destiny? Also, why do they always search for her by just randomly shouting?
51:40 Wait, that was a whole other castle. I thought we were already at the castle.
52:26 Are you literally telling DESTINY what you believe you are destined to do? Because if so…you are an idiot.
52:47 I’m sitting in a chair now.
53:08 Is that guy drinking fire? Like it was punch?
53:46 Hey, we are standing right here, lady. Don’t be a dick.
54:19 The mud dragons are confused at why they are in this scene.
55:20 This guy again? Why isn’t he a pirate anymore?
55:53 And he just started barfing flowers.
57:15 We totally have a ride!
57:30 What’s with the weird accent? Why do you talk like that?
58:14 Yep. They just tied the king to a rock. Not even any guards around him.
58:46 His “way with ways?” The hell does that mean?
59:36 Mind, it looked that way before you did anything, but still, we’re blaming you.
1:00:35 Ah shit, I just realized that they this is just the plot to Hercules. Two bumbling idiots were supposed to kill a baby with a jerry curl and don’t for some reason.
1:01:13 Yeah, keep on being important, title character.
1:01:54 And we should totally do what you want, shouldn’t we?
1:02:14 He wants to kill you, stupid!
1:03:10 And when you’re less powerful, it’s easier to defeat you. And when it’s easier to defeat you, I feel pretty good. And when I feel good…
1:03:44 GROSS. Eye gags are stupid.
1:04:25 Gasp!
1:05:02 Why is the evil big bad wearing a sweaty tank top?
1:05:28 Hey, quiet from the back!
1:05:43 Wait, how did these two escape? Did the bad guy just let them go?
1:06:50 Vapor sucking clouds? I was unaware that was a thing.
1:07:15 Nice of you to bother showing up, Gandalf.
1:07:54 Is that guy fighting these warriors with a chunk of wood?
1:08:12 Waiting patiently for the Matrix scene…
1:09:30 Boy…watching the villains fight each other sure is an interesting use of your climax.
1:10:23 But…wait…I thought he hated his son.
1:11:12 GOD!? God is a player in this?
1:11:28 Yeah, what the hell were you kids doing when all this happened?
1:11:50 Oh the mud dragon is the Black Hole. That somehow wasn’t clear.
1:12:13 These kids could shoot lightning and rain and shit? Why the hell weren’t the ADULTS doing that?
1:13:14 Oh no he’s Dhalsim!
1:13:54 So…title character, UNCONSCIOUS. It’s almost as if this wasn’t written with her in mind as the main character at all.
1:14:40 Yeah, I never liked the Dragonball Z fighting games.
1:15:48 Oh hey, this guy has turned a leaf. Great, whatever.
1:16:16 That was quick! It thought it might have taken an extra second to defeat him, but whatever.
1:16:40 Oh god this idiot is back.
1:17:11 Three! Don’t forget about the worthless princess!
1:17:57 Is that kid six inches tall? Oh, there was a hill, okay.
1:18:18 That was a rhetorical question!
1:19:22 Who the hell is this guy with the hat? Should we know this guy?
1:19:56 Doesn’t the princess have healing power? She healed Supercloud earlier.
1:20:44 The blagg ole…
1:21:13 We wordlessly support our demon overlord!
1:21:51 Who are you talking to? And how did Mesmerizer break out of jail? And why isn’t he helping?
1:22:44 Oh, apparently it is that easy to kill the dragon.
1:23:05 Nice work vaporizing those living creatures, kids! Enjoy your PTSD!
1:24:22 I guess that guy finally ran out of hit points.
1:25:23 It’s over? But…what about those planets from the…oh wait, here’s some scenes.
1:25:59 Oh never mind, these scenes appear to mostly be the kids doing rad backflips.
1:27:08 Who is this Super K guy they keep talking about? Oh wait, his name is actually Super Kloud? That is the dumbest.
1:28:16 Hey, the planets! They didn’t completely forget about them!
1:28:55 Oh never mind it was sequel bait, screw that.
Verdict: Can’t help but notice that that movie was technically called Super K, and the princess had nothing to do with it. But I knew that would happen, I just didn’t expect all the other elements to not make any damned sense. Who was that future guy? Why was he there? Could they have spent maybe a little more time with the kids, instead of those stupid lizards?
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