LAST TIME: Everything explodes! Heads, airships, guns, probably a squirrel. Then Galactus shows up looking like a jerk and Hiro acts like a huge dick.
Page 1, Panel 1: Yeah, whatever Jewel.
Page 2, Panel 3: I mean jesus, have you forgotten already? Nobody knows how to drive this thing.
Page 2, Panel 4: Well, not you personally, but I pretty big on blaming people for shit they didn’t do. Galactus, that poor bear baby, if I ever learned to place responsibility where it’s due, I might not be a huge asshole.
Page 3, Panel 1: Yeah…fuck you guys.
Page 4, Panel 1: It would have only taken us like five seconds to tell you we have no fucking clue, sir, but whatever, we’ll shoot at it.
Page 5, Panel 4: Come on Galactus! You gotta survive! Ignore the fact that you are practically impossible to kill, don’t die on me!
Page 6, Panel 1: No, seriously, not joking. Can’t leave without him. Please stop bugging about it.
Page 6, Panel 6: These bug people are such drama queens.
Page 7, Panel 5: Oh no all those people died how sad I guess.
Page 8, Panel 2: You know, the Hulk. Who this book is essentially about, even though we’ve spent the whole time on some shitty three-leg planet?
Page 8, Panel 3: Oh, that can’t be good. Things shouldn’t come out of your eyes.
Page 8, Panel 4: Um…when did he get the power cosmic?
Page 9, Panel 3: Ah…cool refreshing winterfresh blast. That’ll quench Galactus’s thirst.
Page 10, Panel 1: He calls his men his bonesmen? That’s awesome, how could he hasn’t done that yet.
Pgae 11, Panel 3: Apparently you can just give up being a god.
Page 11, Panel 5: Everything, I don’t understand everything.
Page 12, Panel 4: Welp, fuck that planet. I’m glad it’s gone.
Page 13, Panel 4: Ha! That stupid planet gave Galactus indigestion.
Page 14, Panel 2: Which was, what, two weeks ago?
Page 14, Panel 4: Again….how? How?
Page 16, Panel 3: Galactus looks as confused as I am.
Page 17, Panel 5: And…Galactus vomits.
Page 18, Panel 3: Oh shit ghosts!
Page 20, Panel 2: What he did in silence? This guy will not shut the fuck up.
Page 20, Panel 4: He did? I thought he sacrificed that planet to be a dick to Galactus.
Page 21, Panel 3: Thanks, Ghost Mom, I know.
Page 22, Panel 2: Quick, everyone look busy!
Page 23, Panel 1: Woof. That’s not a good look. Although he’s finally going after the asshole whose fault it really is, that’s nice.
Verdict: I had no idea what was going on! The whole issue seemed to be people throwing up at each other and someone causing stuff to happen? I’m STILL not sure which superpowers Hiro had in this issue, because he did stuff I’ve never seen before and it didn’t make any sense. But whatever, it’s over, and nobody ever mentioned Hiro-Kala again, the end. (Oh no, never mind, he became a crappy villain in the Incredible Hulks. Well, I was hoping…)
(Heh, Wikipedia also mentions how he was born INTO a lava flow. That is one shitty way to start a life, I tell ya.)
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