LAST TIME: The Sheriff solves the murder of the old sheriff somehow, though that guy was probably framed. The vampire gives the witch blood, which she needs, I guess, and the teenage girl is turning into a succubus. I just realized, all they need to do is add an ice girl and the show will have the exact same cast as the anime I’m watching as well!
0:16 Oh yeah, just sleeping with my arm wrapped around my wife, like nobody does.
0:42 Is there a reason I don’t have a shirt on? Did we have sex?
1:33 Haven’t these two been dating for like, half an episode? How are they suddenly really into each other?
2:42 Wait, why did they go into the house? It would really be a better idea to just wait outside and observe all the entrances.
3:43 This guy is supersmug for having a gun in his face ten minutes ago.
4:49 This lady is in a lesbian relationship with the police computer.
5:10 We’re trying to go out, but for some reason everyone throws rocks at me when I try to leave the house. Maybe it’s this idiotic scarf I’m wearing.
6:57 Just putting on make-up and starting conversations with everyone who walks in here because I’m apparently friends with you.
7:45 Oh good, vampire bake sale.
8:19 Those were some super reasonable rules. Why are they trying to paint this lady as a bad guy?
8:41 Who is this vampire? He looks like a huge jerk.
9:08 Wait, she’s outside the Gates? I thought the community was self-sufficient, had a school and a downtown and everything. It has its own police force.
10:01 It’s coming from inside the Gates!
10:48 Having trouble baking a cake? Our consultants are waiting for your call.
11:31 Wait, if you didn’t want him to flip out, why did you tell him about his girlfriend macking on another guy?
12:35 I think punishing someone for infidelity is the same as punishing them for love.
13:04 I thought they were going at night? It is clearly still daytime.
13:48 It must have been horrible, since they didn’t bother to show any of it to us.
14:21 Wow that’s a lot of break-ins.
14:48 Wait, the Gates has a policy that says the police should just ignore crime if it‘s inconvenient?
15:59 Oh you know, just talking about vampire business in a crowded restaurant.
16:34 Oh hey look, some other cops.
17:25 Yeah, this looks totally like something they shouldn’t be doing. Just…running around as wolves.
18:30 Um, he wasn’t on a date with you, lady. You’re married, remember?
19:12 This lady is taking being bitten by vampires really well.
20:13 Oh no, spotlights!
20:57 That sure was amazing, jumping 20 feet with like, zero effort.
21:27 Is that her house? Does she live there?
22:44 Also, I was doing this at like 8 p.m. at night.
23:15 She’s a prostitute, you see.
24:02 Wait, where was she taking the stuff?
24:54 Is this police girl a lich? Like, if she’s away from her phylactery too long, she’ll die?
26:48 Wait, where was the football game then? I thought it was at the Gates. I really wish this show came with a map.
27:55 Oh wait, this guy isn’t at the Fro Yo place because he is being grilled by the cops. I just got that.
28:27 Why the hell is bake sale mom mad at her?
28:54 Still REALLY confused why this running thing is that big of deal. The werewolves are just dicking around in the woods. They aren’t even doing anything illegal, like teen drinking.
29:45 I have a ridiculous bowtie.
30:57 So…are their dinner guests just staring awkwardly at each other?
31:43 Also, you are being a stupid jerk. Stop pretending there is sexual tension between you two.
33:06 NOT ONE? He is a star player of the football team! How have you not been to a game?
33:55 So…when a werewolf is killed while in wolf form, does he turn back into a human or? Because that would make for a very awkward story.
35:02 Wait, so…you stop all security precautions before the crime spree is over?
35:50 He opened the door even though he had all that stolen stuff in plain view? What an idiot.
36:36 I will totally eat his face!
37:20 If he could effectively steal all this stuff, why didn’t he just…take it to his home instead of shipping it to himself?
38:24 That’s a pretty box. Is there a reason she had to hide this to get it back instead of just saying, “Oh hey, that’s mine, I’ll take it.”
39:11 Are they at his house? How did she get in here without him realizing it?
39:57 Man, I have already forgotten she is a succubus. You need to keep reminding us, TV show.
40:32 Why are there a bunch of courier pick-up mailboxes at a skate park?
41:14 She has a gun!
42:16 So, is Marcellus Wallace’s soul in there or what? Don’t leave us in suspense.
Verdict: They keep on trying to play this sheriff off as a genius, but it really wasn’t that big of a leap of logic to say, “oh, he probably mailed the stolen goods to himself.” Although now police lady is apparently magic as well, so that’s interesting. All the other subplots were boring though. Boring vampire stuff.
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