NetFlix Synopsis: When an alien menace and her army of undead minions threaten to enslave the world -- and worse, disrupt Garfield's cookout -- the courageous cat shakes off his lethargy and heads up a team of comic-strip superheroes to save the day. But when the going gets tough and his pals are imperiled by the otherworldly forces, will Garfield prove he's up to the challenge -- or is it too late for the well-fed feline to change his slothful stripes?
Aliens and zombies? Can we not do zombies? I’m kinda done with goddamn zombies.
0:14 Star Wars crawl! When you need to portray that this parody is stupider than the audience expects!
1:19 Dork dork dork dork dork dork
2:40 There should not be so much yawning in the first few minutes.
3:15 If you are still working on it, then why the hell would you include it?!
4:17 I guess this lady is sexy?
4:58 The woman I’ve known for fifteen seconds agreed to marry me! There’s no way she has an ulterior motive!
6:46 That guy has nunchucks! He totally belongs on a planet called Dorkon.
7:23 Why would a matter scrambling ray also grant mind control? That doesn’t make any sense.
8:16 Wait what? The dumb pets are on this planet?
10:02 Dogs like bones, that’s for sure.
10:33 This isn’t some dumb dream? These are literally doppelgangers of the stupid Garfield sidekicks? They have the same DNA and everything?
11:35 Oh no! She has absolutely no power so we can easily oppose her!
11:53 Oh never mind, it was actually a comic book. That just…happens to have characters that to look exactly like the characters in the comic strip.
12:22 Wait, they know that they exist in the newspaper comics?
13:06 She started reading comics about ten seconds ago, jackass.
13:55 Wait wait wait wait. They are CHARACTERS in the comic strip, who occasionally need to appear in the comic strip as if they were actors? This is beyond confusing.
14:30 Oh also, newsstands are still a thing, I guess.
15:06 Comics cost five dollars in this universe? This really is the worst universe.
15:46 Why are you jumping out of your spaceship? Never jump out of your spaceship!
16:34 The metaphysical implications of this dumb plot is mindboggling!
18:09 Yes yes, some actor broke into your house to promote the comic book to you and you alone.
19:12 CAT SCAN, GET IT!?
20:15 Ronald Reagan is still president in the Garfield universe? That…kinda makes sense.
21:24 Why are you surprised? You have a great deal of confirmation that this would happen.
22:33 Yeah, that’s what a freak looks like, I guess.
23:15 I want to watch that movie! A bear teams up with a rabbit! Hilarity!
24:25 I’m kinda curious who Garfield’s mother is now. This is the second time he’s called out for her.
25:46 Great tell, Garfield. Why not just blab immediately?
26:40 I disagree! This is an awful, stupid idea and I don’t get it and I hate it.
27:12 Why is their director a mix between Cecil Demille and Howdy Doody?
27:49 Let’s turn a spotlight on this creature in case nobody saw this freak of nature.
28:19 This lady is a HUGE furry.
30:13 Bring me that half-drunk backwashed lemonade!
31:48 Why didn’t Garfield swallow it? It’s small enough, he could have downed it easily.
32:21 I like how this ray gun has a shoulder holster that nobody ever uses.
32:46 That is not what a zombie is at all! A zombie is a dead body reanimated from the dead, not an old man that was crossbreed with a tricycle.
35:15 HAHA! That guy has a “get the hell out of dodge” button on his console for some reason.
35:54 The suffering of others is hilarious.
37:37 Yeah, if you’re done laughing uncontrollably…
38:19 Wait, frog garbage can? Frog garbage can? Frog garbage can?
39:01 Animating lips is difficult, you guys.
39:40 I’m curious how this DNA serum also gives them costumes. And breasts.
40:45 HAHAHA! That was a good joke! People should acknowledge the Whizzer more often.
42:18 That sentence made no sense both in and out of context.
42:37 Listen, random black guy, we don’t need running commentary. The plot isn’t that confusing.
43:37 That sign says “Bite Me.” I get it.
44:57 AH! AH! AH! This is horrifying.
46:36 Yeah, throwing a bunch of furniture in front of the door when there are full plate windows all around was in fact pointless.
47:26 How does this guy know that Garfield was sitting around eating hot dogs? Is he literally magical?
48:20 Hold up, three people survived the attack on the studio? There were only eight people in the studio total. How did she make so many zombies? Why do I care?
49:24 It appears standing here and doing nothing isn’t working! What should we do? Something?
50:33 You guys had a lot of confidence thirty seconds ago. What’s with the jerky name suggestions?
51:59 How did they get here so fast?!
52:54 Yeah, where the hell have you guys been? Did you stop for frozen yogurt or something?
53:47 This was the plan? Throw the antenna at the spaceship? You couldn’t have found any other weapon?
55:22 For some reason all these idiots are walking straight into a hole! It’s a good thing none of them are looking down!
56:30 I know how! He threw an antenna at you! It was pretty simple, when you think about it.
57:29 This is gross and I don’t like it.
58:38 The gun can create tornadoes now? That seems like an unnecessary upgrade!
59:30 Okay, I just realized there was no reason for you to come up here. Go back down now.
1:00:33 Wait, he has an intruder alarm at his television station? How often does that thing go off?
1:01:28 Ignore the fact that we’ve been a team for all of 45 minutes and we really didn’t set any precedents.
1:02:51 Oh no they broke the airplane! I hope it doesn’t crash on Hamburger!
1:03:54 This is the lamest Prince of Persia level I’ve seen.
1:05:00 It’s the AT-AT takedown with a dog’s tongue. Not gross.
1:05:59 It is a good thing that the ray gun does that, otherwise the plot would be stupid.
1:06:29 Oh right, the happiness field that was established for no reason.
1:06:51 And for some reason this turns her into herself, only with a much nicer personality. Ignore the fact that the ray gun has NEVER done anything like that before, it’s just too convenient to ignore.
1:08:06 I am now really excited to be with you, woman who was brainwashed into being nice.
1:09:13 Good work, all you people who didn’t do anything.
1:09:47 Wait what happened to the dog guards!?
1:10:16 Hang on, his surveillance system sees across dimensions? This magic control booth should have really been established.
1:11:24 Garfield, you own a comic company and are the most famous person in your entire world. I think you are doing fine.
1:11:55 And…they are in outer space somehow. I frankly do not care.
1:12:48 Planets are really the size of volleyballs, don’t let science confuse you.
1:14:00 Ah yes, a “have your people call my people” joke. Never not funny! (By which I mean, gag me.)
1:14:30 They better have paid Welker well. He did a very convincing Lorenzo Music.
1:16:18 Payroll was handled by a company called Paychex. Just…pointing out how that name has not been taken before now.
Verdict: There was a moment there when I thought, “This isn’t too bad.” Then I recalled how much a scrabbled mess that failed to acknowledge any of the ridiculousness they set up. It was treated as if we knew many of these characters, and while it probably built off the universe of the 50 episode Garfield Show (50?!), it still was confusing, and the climax was dumb as dumb. I appreciate how hard they worked to make this work, but the confusing and ridiculous story made it not worth it. I will, however, acknowledge how great that Whizzer joke was.
No comments:
Post a Comment