No Ordinary Family - Episode 12: "No Ordinary Brother"

Because I expect this show to be less than subtle, I’m guess that a family member of MC Skat Kat’s will be making an appearance. (Get it?) Also, guess which idiot has been calling him by the wrong name for WEEKS now and has purged the mistake like the Russian police? That’s right, someone else.

LAST TIME: Pills doesn’t have amnesia after all, so don’t you worry about it! Instead, the family ruins the life of another family by stopping the criminal mom from doing crime and also getting her shot, and Minion quits his job so he take Marcia’s virginity. Not sure why he needed to quit his job to do that. But it turns out he’s a complete moron and took the stolen journal with him on his booty call, and now Marcia knows!

0:47 Someone is breaking into the house! Quick, go hit him with your giant meat fists!

1:19 Oh Chiklis, you don’t need a baseball bat to permanently hurt someone.

1:42 So…Chiklis’s brother broke into their house and just started rearranging their dishes? Can we get an explanation please?

2:22 We get it, this guy is a loser, like all uncles in every television show. It’s like being the brother of a main character is a genetic disease.

3:09 I mean, it’s possible that he could have totally gotten superpowers in the past, thus becoming a responsible human being.

3:50 Did…he use his telekinetic powers to change all the words in the journal? How the fuck did he do that?

4:44 No! Don’t move away, Marcia! That would be sad!

5:41 Oh hey, it’s Pete! How are you, Pete? (It’s not actually Pete.)

6:08 What the hell is going on? Why are high schoolers being judged by a tribunal of their peers? How is this not messed up all around?

7:03 Hello, I’m British!

7:52 Why is Darla freaking out here? She should be happy Marcia gets a new job and everything, instead of being selfish and irresponsible, like always.

8:15 Yeah….that’s not true. Monogamy has been observed in many species.

9:22 This guy looks like he’s not exactly sure he’s supposed to be a criminal.

9:48 Hahaha! How is that a believable collision? He flew 10 yards off the roof from being backed into at 20 miles an hour.

10:26 Has his brother been yelling at him about this all the way home?

11:01 And superpowers make me extremely untrusting!

11:25 LIFT SOMETHING UP! This will not proof anything.

12:09 Because you are a constant idiot with your superspeed, and use them without any regard for your surroundings.

13:05 I will punch my brother to death if it comes to that, honey.

14:03 I cannot disagree with this statement about Darla’s selfish behavior, despite the fact that this British lady is probably a bad guy.

15:29 Hang on, he didn’t assume that his brother was in trouble with a loan shark before now? I mean, that was classic loan shark enforcer behavior.

17:02 And….Uncle Mike is taking Tiberius gambling, because he's a greedy dick. OF COURSE.

17:46 Wouldn’t he need to look at the actual horses to be able to calculate the odds? I don’t think their names would be enough.

18:41 That moral collapse didn’t take very long.

19:06 I mean look at my hair, of course my permanent record is shot.

19:59 The correct cutaway would have been to a whorehouse. Betting track isn’t bad though, but not a surprise, because we totally saw them here before.

21:14 And…mindreader walks into the room just in time to prove that he’s lying. Don’t try to lie, stupid.

22:01 All we have to do is unethically abuse the system!

22:42 Didn’t this guy quit? How is still able to continue walking into the building like nothing happened?

23:15 What the fuck are you doing here? Why did you visit the loan shark?

24:06 Dead people are worth a lot of money, by the way. (Don’t understand why loan sharks always want to kill people.)

24:59 Oh no! All the cool stuff!

25:53 A very telling revelation about an event that we didn’t know about in the first place.

27:25 “So you want me to violate his civil liberties with an illegal search and seizure?” Finally someone acknowledges that they keep playing God with their super powers.

28:08 And….he does it anyway.

28:38 His wife was having an alien baby!

29:06 Hey, check out these guys doing sensitive construction work a mere 10 feet from people at a café. This won’t become important in the next two minutes.

29:44 THE GLASS PANELS CAME CRASHING TO THE GROUND ALMOST ON TOP OF MARCIA! Just don’t ask any questions on why the hell the patio was even fucking open if they were doing construction RIGHT THERE!

30:39 Wait, that brother drove to a hospital that was probably a good two hours away, and then drove back?

31:31 He probably felt terrible because he just realized he was breaking dozens of OSHA rules.

31:42 And no, he is still Tony Stark when he has the suit on. Wearing the costume doesn’t change his name.

32:05 Or call the cops? Cops? Call the cops?

32:23 Oh thanks, yeah, thanks for mentioning the cops and then immediately dismissing it for no reason.

33:11 Big Bad just refuses to let Minion quit. Also, apparently they are related?

34:19 Isn’t the track going to figure out that this family has been winning literally every time?

35:18 OH NO! Somehow they didn’t factor in that accidents happen. Which is…expected?

35:45 They were literally just holding a gun to his head the entire time? Won’t that guy’s arm get tired?

36:35 The loan shark was seriously going to shoot Chiklis in the head? Is that seriously how criminals think?

37:38 I sense some mad makeouts in the future. (Wait, what happened to her last boyfriend? Oh right, he dumped her for shitty reasons.)

38:29 And…Marcia is not going to Miami because just because.

39:08 So I guess the loan shark got arrested or something? Oh, he was! Glad they resolved that for once!

40:42 Sad sappy ya-ya.

41:25 Wait, he had to check the fine print to realize that he had full coverage in his homeowner’s insurance?

42:10 Oh hey, British chick is a shapeshifter, so….Mystique. Exactly like Mystique, in fact.

Verdict: UG, irresponsible sibling plots are the worst. And this loan shark has to be stupidest criminal I’ve ever met. Did he seriously expect to get money that way? Pills’ plot sucked and was pointless, Darla is a selfish jerk, and for someone trying to get away from this evil corporate overlord, Minion sure does come back to the office a lot. Also, the way they've been handling their dramatic cliffhangers these past couple of times, I totally expect British Mystique to die of an aneurysm within the first five minutes of next week's episode.