LAST TIME: Our heroes went to a house and fought people, managed to get most of them shot or captured, and were treated like slabs of meat by the worst nerd on the planet, who is dressed as a cowboy. I hope somebody dies, personally.
Page 1: Wait, they captured Barracuda too? Also, why are they capturing people period?
Page 2, Panel 4: Man, so many people are able to just climb up on the Danger Yacht. I guess that’s the danger of having a small, insecure ship as a base.
Page 3, Panel 6: Ah, I guess that’s done then. No more Danger Yacht.
Page 4, Panel 1: Wait what? How did they live?! They were in a house that fell into the ocean.
Page 6, Panel 1: Oh hey it’s Secret Agent Zero! He was just…hanging out in the water. How did he not get hit by the house collapsing on him?
Page 7, Panel 2: And the water is only like waist deep? How are they not dead after falling 100 feet? There is not nearly enough water here to break their fall.
Page 7, Panel 6: Yep, he looks just like all the others, except all the others were wearing stupid masks and stuff, so…not really.
Page 8, Panel 2: Apparently being captured and tortured isn’t enough of a reason for Barracuda not to be a smug asshole making flirty cracks.
Page 8, Panel 3: Also, who the hell is Falcon?
Page 8, Panel 5: So they were tied up in chairs and left in a room with this weird scientist? Aren’t they spies and stuff? Wouldn’t they be better placed in a jail or whatever?
Page 9, Panel 1: There is something wrong with his face! Also for some reason they thought I needed to turn the book sideways.
Page 9, Panel 2: Oh, so he plans to turn them into zombies, and then rape the woman. Real class act, this fellow. And don’t look behind you!
Page 11, Panel 1: Um, what kind of accent are you going for there, Barracuda?
Page 11, Panel 3: You can tell it’s bad because the X has a skull in it.
Page 12, Panel 1: Oh, that’s why they had some random guy there, so that he could be the one who is forced to take the crazy zombie serum and our heroes aren’t harmed.
Page 13, Panel 1: And his head explodes! Gross.
Page 13, Panel 3: I thought this guy was a robot. Maybe he’s a cyborg? Why is he being pumped with this serum?
Page 14, Panel 1: This Big Bad sure think he’s great.
Page 15, Panel 2: Meanwhile, where people aren’t wearing pants…
Page 15, Panel 3: Does Zero just talk in whispers? Is that why his speech balloons are dashed like that? If so, that’s stupid.
Page 16, Panel 2: Naturally, the guy is willing to do something he finds distasteful because he saw a pretty lady who was posing for no reason. Because again, every man in this universe is a creep.
Page 16, Panel 4: Why did they give her a five million dollar submarine for no reason?
Page 16, Panel 6: And why does this news upset the archeologist?
Page 18, Panel 1: Wait, we’re just moving on to the next step of the mission for some reason. Because it is much easier for the bad guys to get all the artifacts if we collect them first. And why do we need these artifacts?
Page 18, Panel 3: So, yes, mystical.
Page 19, Panel 1: Oh hey a Nazi submarine.
Page 20, Panel 2: Oh damn it this asshole is still alive? I guess I had no reason to assume he died, but has he just been sitting here being useless.
Page 20, Panel 5: That is a huge sword! How can anyone wield that?
Page 21, Panel 3: Oops! Sorry! Didn’t see you there at the bottom of the ocean!
Page 22, Panel 3: Boy, it sure was lucky that Zero was apparently expecting trouble on their science mission and installed torpedoes.
Page 23, Panel 1: Oh my that is a very big eel! Sure it lucky it attacked when it did!
Page 24, Panel 1: Oh no apparently Natalia is a traitor! Wait isn’t she dead? Shot when she was protecting Abbey? How is she here? Why was she killing henchmen for the organization she worked for earlier? This plot twist makes no sense. And how did the sword get up here?
Page 24, Panel 5: Oh of course that ring they made a big deal out of earlier. That’s why you never accept jewelry from your platonic friends.
Verdict: I guess everyone’s okay, except poor Falcon, whoever the hell he was. And the leader, I guess. This plot twist is shit, by the way. (Also one I saw coming because I saw the cover of the next issue. Thanks jerks). This comes out of nowhere and completely undermines everything that happened last issue. Oh, and nothing vaulted off anything, which disappoints me greatly. They could have tried with the submarine!
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