LAST TIME: It is suddenly three days from DD-Day (Dmitri’s Death Day), and Dmitri finally decided to flip fate the middle finger and run the fuck away! No wait, he planned to do so, but first he hangs around town for like a day, giving ample time for D. Gibbons to kidnap him, as well as FBI Guy’s daughter. Oh, also, Doctor Wife made out with Magician Guy, which is bullshit.
0:25 I do! I want to know who he is! I don’t recall ever seeing that guy before! Was he actually in a previous episode?
1:11 So, I don’t know if it has been doing that every time, but apparently in the title cut, there is a silhouette of a guy running down a hall. That’s super generic.
1:29 What the fuck is this insanity? John Nash must be off his meds again.
1:51 WHAT? The daughter wasn’t kidnapped? Then what the hell was the point of that cliffhanger?
2:46 “They make a mean cotton candy here, don’t they?”
3:25 No serious, D. Gibbs, what lesson could you learn from One Fish, Two Fish? Things are different than other things?
4:04 Well, that was a stupid flashback. Also, no reason why that interview had to wait until the next day.
5:05 STOP SAYING JELLY BEANS!
5:38 What? This perfectly normal six-year-old needs a child psychologist? She seems fine!
6:18 Hey again Terrorist Lady. It’s been 16 episodes now. You want to start having a purpose here anytime soon?
7:57 Um, don’t you have a locker room or something? Why are you gearing up in the conference room?
8:29 Yes, I also took college level English. I remember that Oedipus wasn’t just about mom boning.
9:12 Oh shit this crossbow machine is a Cylon!
9:53 Hey what’s up two people I don’t really recognize. You got anything for me?
10:22 You see, he’s eccentric. That’s why he’s got dominoes all over the floor.
11:07 He’s got a Mouse Trap board set up too? Seriously, tone down the wacky bullshit.
11:31 I can’t believe they managed to get all that MICROcircuitry in such a TINY place.
13:11 Oh jeez, that’s neat. Apparently they saw a lot of different possibilities in the initial experiments, suggesting a lot of different futures, thus proving something we….already….knew. (fuck)
14:18 Oh okay! That makes…wait no it fucking doesn’t. If you just didn’t kidnap him, there was no chance you would both die today.
15:15 Hey no shouting! This death machine can apparently detect shouting.
15:48 Is that Matt Damon?
16:20 I see someone is who is obviously suspicious being suspicious.
17:53 Window washer! Pay attention to the window washer. (Also, thanks, asshole camera guy. I saw them. Be subtle.)
18:45 So…wait…guy had a cellphone that texted Doctor Wife for some reason? That’s pretty weird that the other FBI guy found it, knew Doctor Wife’s number, and then went to visit her. Especially since there is something literally ten million times more important going on right now.
20:40 Everybody say Figoroya!
21:25 Wait, how did he know to set it to 4 hours, 23 minutes, instead of 4 minutes, 23 seconds?
21:55 ZoomCar, it goes where you need to go when you’re running from the FBI.
22:08 I JUST SAW THIS! It’s the running down the hallway scene from earlier! (Ed Note: Went back and checked, apparently all the episodes had a mini-second long flashforward buried in the title credit. Cute but useless.)
23:01 Now excuse me while I have a super ridiculous Brooklyn accent at this Los Angeles courthouse.
24:09 Yes, that’s right, that lady that we don’t care about got away oh no.
24:43 This is a really complicated geocache.
25:14 Why the fuck did you take out his brain?! That can’t be standard autopsy procedure.
26:28 Man, this Big Bad is not very terrifying. He’s all gaunt and weird.
27:22 For someone who wants to help, he sure is being a complete dick about it.
27:41 HAHA! He spit gas in your face! That’s what you get for being cryptic!
28:37 They also have straight up investigative magic, that allows them to find out whatever they need to find out at the right moment.
29:16 And…he’ll be dead before he can say anything.
29:30 Yep, called the shit out of that.
29:50 So, how did the Terrorist Lady manage to get all that equipment and out here in that short window of time since she was broken loose?
31:05 Seriously, what’s with the ZoomCar? Why would D. Gibbons use obviously marked and easily traceable vehicles for his little plot here? This is disgusting product placement.
31:54 WHAT? Doctor Lady! Go back to work! You have no reason to be here!
32:57 Oh shit no service! Now he can’t call for back-up!
33:42 I’m calling you just so that I can get this relevant piece of plot info, I’m glad everyone I need to talk to is in that room with you.
35:06 Can’t you just break that sword thing so that it can’t push down on the trigger? Or put something behind the trigger so it can’t fully squeeze? Anything but what you’re doing?
36:03 These characters who can’t affect the plot at all are really nervous!
36:56 He’s okay? Is he okay?! Watch out for secondary things!
37:50 HAHA what! The big reveal is that he rigged the trap to erase his big dumb chalk drawing if Dmitri is pulled loose from his chair. Not, say, actually kill him, but just fuck with everyone.
38:15 WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS GUY!? I don’t like him! He looks like Baltar!
39:12 Yep. That was a crazy guy alright!
40:30 December 12, 2016! Oh no! That’s really far in the future! Now I can be worried about that day too!
Verdict: Hey that guy was Baltar! I didn’t notice because he was using a different voice. That’s neat, I now would not mind seeing that lunatic again. But hey, hurray, Dmitri’s fine, but D. Gibbs is dead while being completely cryptic, and now there’s some metaplot shit going down…which will be completely unresolved, I bet. Kinda excited that Terrorist Lady actually got to do something, even if it was stupid.
No comments:
Post a Comment