Monday, September 19, 2011

FlashForward - Episode 16: "Let No Man Put Asunder"

I was going to tell a grammar joke, but I misunderstood what was a verb and what was an adverb, and it’s a bible quote anyone so it doesn’t really matter, because that book plays by its own rules anyway, so let’s call it a wash, huh?

LAST TIME: There was a mole in the FBI, so they spend the whole time trying to weasel that out, and eventually it’s revealed to be someone we don’t know, but in a surprise twist I guess FBI Lesbian is also the mole? Meanwhile, the Japanese lady struggles to get a job and eventually is taken in by ICE, all while her future boyfriend is macking on Babysitter chick. So…sucks for her, I guess.

0:27 Oh good, we get to see Beardo jump out of the shadows dressed as an animal this episode!

1:20 What hang on, Dmitri has only been in the FBI two years ago? He is literally the second most important person on the force. I guess he is pretty young…

2:00 Welcome back guy! I remember that episode where you died for a bit of a dumb reason.

2:48 Wait, you can just switch your partner in the FBI? It’s not like going on a class field trip.

3:22 Ho ho! Won’t this cute little conversation sure look ironic when we skip back to present day!

4:08 It is March 12th? What the hell have you been doing these past two months? Christmas literally felt like it was three weeks ago.

4:55 His name was “All in Due Time?” Bedumbum.

5:18 Um, no, because you didn’t tell anyone? Oh I get it!

5:58 Listen lady! It is not their fault that the writers didn’t feel like creating you until last episode.

6:36
Should I recognize this lady? She has the stink of “special guest” all over her.

7:00 Where are you going, Director? Hair cut? Ice cream social?

7:53 What the hell? What’s with all these dead bodies? Oh, they’re just empty cots.

9:21 What? The FBI never gives up, you say? Well, of course they don’t.

9:54 You can leave town! Fate is changeable! We have proven this! Go to Seattle or something!

10:26 Oh of course, now her child is actively working against her marriage.

11:37 No, I think you’ll be just fine. I mean, it’s just stage blood wiped on your face, should come right off with water.

12:12 Oh! The Director was going to met the Vice President. Well, that’s pretty important.

13:48 Jericho does something in the future! That’s pretty noncommittal!

14:14 That line was dubbed in, because the lady apparently forgot the name of the president.

15:03 Yeah, I totally did that, is that against the rules somehow? Using our top secret database to get info for my personal friends? I can’t see the problem at all.

16:28 Were we supposed to see an old car in that shot? Because all I saw were police cars. Could they not afford the prop?

17:40 He wants to talk to Randy Savage! Oh…now I’m sad.

18:02 This random saleslady caused the blackout? Well, mystery solved!

18:44
Apparently Dmitri is going to talk this guy down by taking off all his clothes.

19:11 Oh never mind, this guy is just crazy. Also, where in this gilded government building are they selling cell phones?

20:29 HOHO! Dmitri had a third gun! Three Guns Dmitri, they call him!

21:08 Well, that stands to reason that the serial number would be different if it’s not the same gun.

22:03 I remember! That’s because it was, like, only twenty minutes ago though.

23:22
Oh hey! A flashback to before these two characters started screwing! Exciting.

24:13 Um, red is a fairly dark color.

25:09 Wait, do we get to hear why they are going out? Because he seems to HATE her in this flashback.

26:40 DO IT! Get out of town! Prove this hammered plot point so wrong!

27:22 You left the water running when you answered the door? Who did you think came to the door that could possibly led you to not turn it off?

28:05 Maybe she doesn’t have your number?

29:12 So…Magician Guy and FBI Wife are going to start sleeping with each other? This is so dumb.

29:39 You are nothing like Lancelot, asshole! Believe you me!

30:28 And there we go. It’s so easy. Just let a woman’s daughter squeeze your hand and you’re in like Flynn.

30:57 HAHAHA! Beardo was looking up Jericho on the goddamn Internet. That’s how the Director found him.

32:56 Fat Black Agent is an Internet minister. That is just enough character to let him die this episode. See you buddy!

33:36 Oooh…satellite phone WITH video capability. How is the app support?

33:57 I bury these underneath a palm tree, right?

35:06 Now…please ignore the fact that I’m a mole and probably just put you into a car with a man whose going to kill you.

35:40 Hang on, when did FBI Lesbian get a chance to get pregnant? She was in Somolia at the time!

36:26 Ah dang, Fat Black Agent won’t be allowed to marry Dmitri after all. And nothing happened last night, so…I guess I messed up that guess.

37:35 Oh hey Dyson Frost! I didn’t recognize you without your glasses. You get contacts?

38:02 Maybe he just hates you, Mom. He’ll surely pick up for me, his partner.

38:45 Where the hell is there a carnival open in March? And why is FBI Wife officiating one of the booths?

39:16
Oh, a school carnival. Makes sense. And they established that too. Damn, I literally have nothing to complain about this very second.

39:51 Kiss her with those lips that you’ve placed on ANOTHER MAN!

40:18 And now he’s going to kidnap the daughter. Man, he is just being generally evil, this guy.

Verdict: So hang on, is FBI Lesbian a double agent or not? Because she sure seemed to be on the good guy’s side this time. Also, what is up with D. Frost/Gibbons? What is his plan, what is he doing, why is it inexplicably two months later than it should be, etc? So many questions. I should really do a question count at the end of these.

No comments:

Post a Comment