Monday, March 5, 2012

No Ordinary Family - Episode 15: "No Ordinary Powell"

What? The hell does that even mean? Like Colin Powell? No Ordinary well-decorated African-American general who had a tumultuous time as a secretary on George W. Bush’s staff?  Is one of the characters named Powell? On dang that’s the last name of the main characters, right… So, the title could have very well been “No Ordinary Guys.”

LAST TIME: Chiklis is sexist, and gets his comeuppance, I guess? Also Tiberius just blows his date with the hot blonde, Marcia gets mind wiped by Minion to avoid having what is, at best, a difficult conversation, and the Big Bad totally figures out that our heroes have superpowers. OOPS!

0:41 Oh no they’ve been robbed!

0:54 Oh no Chiklis is dead! Maybe you should have told your husband about Mystique? Just an idea?

1:40 Nothing like abusing your superpowers for personal gain! Like daughter like mother.

2:59 See what I did there? I used the same word twice. That’s good writing.

3:13 HEY! Maybe not talk about how your boss is evil in the building that is OWNED BY HIM!

3:50 That’s right, Darla has all those pesky morals. Like the time she was willing to kidnap a man indefinitely, and the time she was willing to overlook one of her friends being a criminal. Pillar of justice, that one.

4:38 What about Minion? I mean, they do know that Minion has superpowers, right? Darla was there? Or I guess that was another thing she never told the family.

5:31 Ah, okay, random Asian lady, that’ll happen.

6:05 I thought she was an orphan. Like, forever. Why does she suddenly have a murdered mother?

7:17 Why would you tell your boss you’re at home with your children? OH! It’s the doppleganger! That took me too many seconds to figure out.

8:18 Or gay lover! That’s also a possibility. Can’t rule that one out.

8:42 I mean, it looks exactly like a TV set of a fancy apartment. I don’t get it.

9:07 This bad guy got copies of their social security cards? That is weird.

10:09 FREEDOM BY JONATHAN FRANZEN.

11:16 Try to act less suspiciously, Mystique.

13:56 Wait, if nobody was in the house, then why was she still masquerading as Pills?

14:23 Who is too young for an espresso? It’s not like he asked for a beer.


15:40 Obviously, he was planning on pacing the apartment until he was caught, and then he would punch the bad guy. That is the only reason he hasn’t left the apartment he is breaking into yet.

16:51 Chiklis fell for the dumbest trick in the book! Mystique might as well shouted, “LOOK OVER THERE!”

18:21 Does, does the Big Bad have a crush on Darla? Is that what has been implied?

19:28 Oh, I guess Darla doesn’t know. Surely there must be a good reason that this is being kept from the family. SURELY.

20:50 Kyle Rainey? Really? I so hope this guy has the ability to create mental constructs, because that would be super lazy and I would love it.

21:23 After discovering his sister has a dangerous new power that could be easily abused, he immediately decides that they should abuse it.

23:04 OKAY! Everyone officially knows everything, let’s move this along.

24:00 Why did you not wait until you had left the room before you morphed back into yourself?! You are the worst shapeshifter.

24:43 OH SHIT. MC Skat Kat just played the race card, and it was hilarious.

25:05 WHAT! So he totally knew that there was an enemy shapeshifter out there, and the idea that she might be dangerous never crossed his mind?

27:26 Any reason you decided to wait until night to confront this possible criminal?

28:40 Because complete strangers showing up reminding me of an awful experience I once had is more than enough reason for me to want them to leave.

30:06 OH! Mystique is the Big Bad’s daughter.

30:42 This is a perfectly reasonable response to someone being weird near your home! Murder them in cold blood!

31:20 Yeah guys, just stand there. The jeep will probably veer out of the way.

31:42 Wait, no, you guys have to stay, otherwise there is absolutely no evidence that any wrongdoing happened oh goddamnit.

32:54 Does she have any reason to suspect Minion of being evil? Or is she just being a jerk for no reason?

34:15 Throw a table at her! Throw a table at her! Fight fight!

34:50 Oh man, Chiklis on Chiklis violence!

35:45 They wasted so much money on a ridiculous scene where two bald guys who look the same punch each other to death.

36:50 Oh god that’s a pool of blood. I hope nobody is dead.

37:40 Why would it take her SEVERAL MINUTES after her death to change back into herself? Also, Chiklis just murdered someone!

38:37 Haha, Minion and Mystique totally did it once.

39:12 No….that’s not how shapeshifting works. There would be no reason for the Big Bad not to require his shapeshifting flunky to turn back into herself every time they met. In fact, this will be almost impossible to pull off.

40:04 I guess Tiberius just bought it off the Asian woman?

40:48 YEP! Called it! First thing he asked! This plan shouldn’t have worked.

41:54 Stop with the sexy. It’s gross.

Verdict: This plot twist is stupid! There was no way that Darla could have faked her way through a private conversation with the Big Bad while pretending to be someone that she NEVER observed and who the Big Bad raised as a daughter! I’m just going to assume he was drunk on Irish coffee. The B plot was also stupid. I know my immediate response to a stranger acting weird in my house is to assume they know about the person I murdered for no reason. Wait hang on.

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