LAST TIME: May is a horrible person, and as punishment from god or some bullshit, she totally got knocked up. Of course, she knew this was a distinct possibility, but she still continued to slut it up, and it makes me feel bad that I dislike her character as much as I do. It’s not my fault that I dislike every decision she makes!
Page 1, Panel 1: Spider-Man and Phantom Stranger sitting in the…no wait, that doesn’t make any sense. Who is PS?
Page 2, Panel 2: Ew. That sounds like the worst competition. Hairy Legs?
Page 2, Panel 4: I bought this pregnancy book, just so I can shame you about your bad decision.
Page 3, Panel 1: Haha! She said she wouldn’t never eat again, and now she’s eating again! (boinka boinka boinka donk dong)
Page 3, Panel 4: So...it’s just baby puns from here on out, huh?
Page 4, Panel 3: OHHHH SHIT! Her friend just totally called her on sleeping around. What a bitch!
Page 4, Panel 5: Then May, you have not seen enough movies, because you should have figured this shit would have happened.
Page 5, Panel 2: These random diner patrons are way too interested in this girl’s drama.
Page 6, Panel 2: The blonde is literally tempting fate here by sleeping with her boyfriend, while her best friend is currently going through a pregnancy? How stupid can this chick be?
Page 6, Panel 4: Woo! Remember North by Northwest? And to a lesser extent Naked Gun? And to an even lesser extent a comic book that already shown us like five scenes of teens boinking already, so what’s with the metaphors all of a sudden?
Page 7, Panel 2: Ew. Egg beating? Really? That’s a terrible metaphor.
Page 7, Panel 5: Yeah, that’s when you know it’s good, when she is crying.
Page 8, Panel 3: He’s…he’s already sitting down. Also, is she at all curious who he was sleeping with?
Page 9, Panel 2: Now, I’m super shallow, and just wanted to let you know that I hate you now. Go away forever.
Page 10, Panel 4: Now Ben is acting super weird. Is anyone going to act normal, or…?
Page 11, Panel 6: OOOHHH SHIT! This will not end well. Ben’s sterile, everyone. Although, what kind of 18-year-old knows that they are sterile?
Page 12, Panel 1: Worse, he became sterile because he got punched by a stranger.
Page 13, Panel 5: No amount of mantears can make up for this nonsense.
Page 15, Panel 2: This is an abortion clinic. You can tell because ladies are shaming other ladies in the waiting room.
Page 16, Panel 1: Oh of course. Here are some abortion pamphlets, in case this course of action wasn’t completely clear.
Page 16, Panel 3: UG! She has a shoulder devil, who makes terrible racist jokes.
Page 16, Panel 4: Because it would be so much cheaper to raise a child to adulthood? Poor argument, shoulder angel.
Page 17, Panel 3: I think my pro-choice beliefs may be affecting how I view this conversation, so I’m going to stay quiet.
Page 17, Panel 5: There’s a third more evil option than abortion?
Page 18, Panel 3: Wait, wasn’t she wearing a different shirt in bed a panel ago? Oh, the artist clumsily drew that shirt on the floor, now it’s okay.
Page 19, Panel 1: Oh yeah, this is literally the worst decision she could have made. Good work, May. (Also, an entire panel of a poorly handwritten note? Screw off, Millar.)
Page 20, Panel 4: Why are these two wearing the same shirt? Is it a uniform?
Verdict: Good job going from bad to worse, book. How is this the plot? Instead of doing anything reasonable, she runs away, with a baby on the way and absolutely no support? The best thing that can happen to her is she dies young before she scars a child for life. And why hasn’t the philanderer stepped up the plate here? What’s his problem?
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