LAST TIME: Darla got her ring stolen by some common thugs, and Chiklis spent the entire episode trying to get it back. Meanwhile, Tiberius pretends to be Jewish (hilarious), and everyone lies to everyone all the time.
0:44 Chiklis is wearing a hoodie as a costume. Assume I made another reference to Green Arrow.
2:01 What about the lady? The lady doesn’t require top-notch medical attention?
3:00 One that involves males. Since you are a lady, you’d be uninterested, I’d assume.
4:02 I think that model horse that nobody can reach or touch really brings the room together.
4:54 James Earl is in this episode! Not the famous James Earl Jones. Just James Earl. This show can only afford two syllables.
5:27 You have no idea what Catch-22 means, Asian girl.
6:23 MC Scat Kat is eating a salad. He cares about his body, everyone.
7:17 Are we still following this cheating plot? Ug, it’s been two episodes already, let it go.
8:05 If he’s holding his cell phone, what the hell is in his right pocket?
9:17 Wait, why did Chiklis cancel the camping trip? He had literally no reason.
11:02 Grey baseball cap? What team does he rout for, the Oklahoma City Blands?
11:50 A history teacher AND a football coach? This show at least understands how things work in high school. History class in literally the easiest class to teach. All School House Rock, all the time.
13:37 COMPUTERS!
14:42 Did she really need mind reading powers to tell that this bitch didn’t like her?
15:27 Why is MC Scat Cat folding tiny shirts? Does he have a child?
15:48 I just shot a man but I’ll respond to my name nonetheless.
16:41 Seriously, is Tiberius four feet tall?
18:25 Oh no, this research is founded by some disgraced scientist? Huh?
19:17 HAHA! Chiklis has a big fat meaty face!
20:13 The next time someone asked me if I have a problem, I’m going to respond, “I’m just passionate about my art.”
20:36 We're just walking past football practice for no reason.
21:12 Yeah, the guy who has never played football before totally knows what that means.
23:19 MATH MATH MATH MATH MATH MATH MATH.
24:07 FOUR FOOT FIVE?! I have a hard time believing anyone is that short!
25:04 UM! The odds of him having powers is like 1:3. How have they not figured this out?
25:49 Oh man, Meatloaf is running around killing people? That’s terrible.
26:53 Because you can’t be both! Just ask Animal Man!
27:32 Why does this ADA spend so much time at the police station? He’s no Maggie Gyllenhaal.
29:11 Hrm, um, I’ll regard everything with a tight lip for now.
30:16 YEAH! Seriously! That is some hypocrisy right there.
30:46 She didn’t even have any beer to begin with!
31:26 This is the second funniest clerk I’ve ever met. After Dante, of course.
32:38 We thought it was a fun raucous 90 minute long comedy, but turned out to be a two and a half hour drama. The trailers lied!
33:37 I brush my teeth at you sir!
34:55 Oh man, she used to date a guy in the FBI? I don’t know why that is attractive.
35:56 I understand how you are being profiled by the cops, so why don’t you just turn yourself in? I mean, why not live up to their expectations?
37:23 I really don’t get the argument “If you love your kids so much, why don’t you spend every waking moment with them?” It just assumes some obsessive bullshit.
38:42 She seriously couldn’t walk there?! Stop abusing your superspeed!
39:18 Don’t you understand how grounded works? It’s not a free pass to spend every moment in your room.
40:16 This is the last moment he remembers before this kid gets killed by 300 pounds of angry.
40:52 Grr. I’m a cat burglar. Hisssssss.
41:56 Sad mustache.
Verdict: I was not aware that Tiberius was the tiniest person on the planet. The vigilante plot went nowhere, the party plot made no sense (How exactly did she plan to blackmail the clerk?) but at least we got to see some football! Wooo!
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