We’ve all been there. What do you do with all those sekirei? There are just too many! How do you get rid of them? Well you should get: Crest Erasure! Just one touch and bam! Out of your hair! Got a 10-year-old trying hard to get you on the sexual predator list? BAM! Crest Erasure! How about a genki girl who won’t stop trying to rape you? BAM! Crest Erasure! It works every time! Crest Erasure! By Ronco!
LAST TIME: We prepared to smuggle two assholes we don’t care about out of the city, and at one point they finally mentioned the uncomfortable topic of sex, but of course they don’t go anywhere with it, because nobody in Japan actually ever has sex. They just talk about it all the goddamn time. But we were promised that someone was going to die, so I’m super excited about that.
0:42 There are generations of Sekirei? Why? Why would there need to be more distinctions?
1:16 Hang on hang on hang on. So the little girl who was saved in the first episode is the title sekirei, whose name I forget, and she was saved by someone who looked EXACTLY LIKE HER?
2:28 Square Enix is involved in this?! That explains everything!
3:46 Yeah, I’ve decided to hang out on a rooftop and drink instead of actually helping.
4:20 Wait, so, if you went to exactly where that guy was, you wouldn’t be able to watch him?
5:36 Ah, the “turn all my computer screens red” button.
6:24 They have a checklist?! And the child is on it? That is pretty funny.
6:34 Also the part where the guys run straight at the thing they don’t understand and are afraid of. Oh soldiers.
7:50 Wait, the Professor knew that this was going to happen? Then why didn’t he try to stop it? What the fuck is his plan?
8:23 How is troops heading straight for the problem that you created a reason to abort? You weren’t really inconspicuous. It seems pretty rational at this point.
9:51 Someone might kill me during this dangerous mission in which people with guns are involved? I’m shocked. SHOCKED!
11:08 Of course you had a secret motorcycle platform that lifts out of the ground.
12:09 For characters that have been cast as villains from the very beginning I sure have no reason to hate the twins. They are the hardest working people in the entire series.
13:07 Was her hair always in twin braids, or is this a motorcycle development?
13:42 The little girl has a fucking rocket launcher!
13:53 That shoots tiny plants in capsules…that explode into trees. OF COURSE.
14:44 Run like a person! Stop that!
16:16 How the hell does the Main Sekirei not know who the hell the Black Sekirei is? She’s been friends with her for years.
17:43 Oh my god you told me something I didn’t want to hear I’m going pass out now!
18:39 In case you didn’t hear her screaming, here’s the translation of the kanji.
19:11 That plan usually works a lot better if you stand closer than fifteen feet away. Can’t lift him from there.
19:54 Pulverizer. Also known as the ability that will tear all your fucking clothes off.
20:33 Maybe, if you’re trying to be threatening, keep your tongue in your mouth. Gene Simmons isn’t that scary.
21:18 Wait what? You’ve claimed to be his husband even though he hasn’t even officially married you? That’s really pathetic.
21:49 Oh no what’s her name died! (yesyesyesyes)
22:00 Oh shit different ending song. This is super serious you guys.
22:58 Jeez, you couldn’t keep your exploitative nude shots out of the dramatic closing credits?
Verdict: I guess this is getting closer to ending! I can’t wait for the actions of this episode to be completely reversed! Also, the main villain of the episode is someone we have never goddamn seen before. You can’t do that. Why is the actual big bad that you built up spending the whole episode lounging naked in a pool? And why the fuck won’t anyone put any goddamn clothes on? (I only get one more episode to complain.)
*Sekirei is available on Netflix InstantWatch and Hulu. Sekirei is property of Sakurako Gokurakuin/Square Enix and the SEKIREI Project.
No comments:
Post a Comment