Flash Forward - Episode 10: "A561984"

Those are just a series of numbers and letters! That is not a title for a thing! That is how you label a part of an airplane! And those are inherently extremely boring!

LAST TIME: Nurse Guy (who apparently has a doctorate after all, but man I would not trust that guy with my spleen) flies to Japan because he has a dream about a hot Japanese chick. Said Hot Japanese Chick runs away from her restrictive family and her lucrative robotics job to play guitar on the streets of LA, a very profitable business venture. Also, Beardo is pushed towards the edge by his not-actually-dead daughter, and FBI Guy is a raging jackass. Are you lost? Because I’m thoroughly archived everything. You can just read up, dummy.

0:11 Oooh, a flashback to the first episode. This is a portent. We might get some actual plot development.

0:59 What? It’s Christmas already? Why are we watching a Christmas Carol?

1:26 Why would you paste your creepy John Cage-style collage over a window? Won’t that obscure your view of outside?

2:01 The woman who called Dmitri apparently had a Western Persian accent. How do they know that? What is that?

2:15 It’s a new FBI black guy! Welcome! I hope you don’t die suddenly.

3:33 Why would FBI Guy put his own career at risk like that? Because he’s got a doctor wife who can keep his income up, I guess.

3:55 Palo Alto! I have heard of there!

5:06 “What? Someone is saying that he caused the blackout during this press conference stating who caused the blackout?!” These reporters are overreactive idiots.

6:07 There was no way of knowing that the experiment involving Big Bang level energy fields would cause everyone to blackout, because why the hell would that happen?

7:10 WHO BRINGS A GUN TO A PRESS CONFERENCE?

7:38 That is not the scientific method, Charlie. But nice try.

8:40 Why is Magician Guy’s son in the FBI’s database? Do they keep a database on autistic kids?

9:44 This guy’s last name is Brogger. That’s a terrible name. Also, why are there still credits on the dang screen? The episode is already 25% over.

10:30 Check out this mildly realistic Hong Kong soundset we made.

10:59 So, apparently the FBI team hopes to track down their mystery woman with racism. Do they just assume that all people from a given country only eats food from said country?

11:54 Again, Nurse Guy seems to know everyone, despite not being shown talking to them before.

12:39 What? Why does Lesbian FBI Agent want to get pregnant suddenly?

13:57 How long would it take you to get a broken TV removed from your office? It’s been at least six hours.

15:30 I mean, it really is extremely idiotic to walk around unprotected when you just announced that you’re responsible for the deaths of million of people. Come on.

16:24 I remember all voices at all times! I am the great Voice Rememberer!

16:50 Why is there an English-speaking Santa doll in a Iranian restaurant is Hong Kong?

18:00 Real heroic, dickface. Threatening to detain without evidence an Iranian man for the sole crime of being Iranian just to get some information.

19:16 Blobbity blobbity gobbledy gock science jargon.

19:42 Wait wait wait, these Somalia buildings shouldn’t exist yet because the guy who designed them hadn’t thought of them yet?

19:57 INCEPTION STING!

20:54 When did you get a picture of these D. Gibbons guy? Seriously? Who saw him?

21:34 Charlie apparently doesn’t understand how time works. If these buildings were creating before you drew up the designs, then they were not your idea.

22:42 And…Doctor Lady suddenly changes her motives for no reason also. Did I…miss something?

23:58 So, she went to dinner with her four bodyguards? Do they have anything to talk about?

24:51 Seriously, how could they tell what this woman’s accent was? She sounds like Bea Arthur.

25:30 So…he’s going to be killed by one of these bodyguards? Oh! Apparently FBI guy is going to kill Dmitri…for some reason…

26:22 Oh okay, the title is the serial number of the gun FBI Agent is carrying.

26:48 I have a great idea! Change your gun! Lock it in a closet! Throw it in the ocean! Do absolutely anything else! This is outrageously coincidental.

27:32 Please don’t tip up the table and kidnap me. That would be rude.

27:53 Hong Kong has SWAT teams ready to respond with seconds to a table being flipped over.

29:07 I legitimately have no idea what FBI Guy is up to. What the hell did he think he could accomplish with this impromptu kidnapping?

30:18 That was incredibly brave of you, admitting to killing millions of people. Do you want to have sex? - Apparently what Doctor Lady is thinking right now

31:20 Have you heard of the Many Worlds interpretation? Well, prepare to be bored by it!

31:56 OH MAN! Are they being smart here? Are they saying that the Flashforward let all these people see into an alternate reality? That would be pretty neat and pointless.

33:35 And FBI Guy has been fired! Hurray! Now we can follow another protagonist! Maybe Beardo?

34:20 DUN DUN. D. GIBBONS! What, why isn’t the episode over? That was an end episode reveal.

35:08 What? Huh? They are having a funeral in Hawaii? And everyone is wearing white…OH! Cultural difference! White is the color in death in some countries! Still doesn’t explain why they are in Hawaii!

36:47 Dmitri suddenly feels like it's his fault for maybe dying in the future.

38:12 Are you trying to ask Nurse Guy for drugs?

38:23 HAHA! The lesbian doesn’t like penises!

39:06 Ambulance is going to explode. 4:1 odds. Kidnapping: 3:1. Something not predicable: 25-1.

39:46 They keep saying the word ambos like that wasn’t stupid.

40:24 Almost all physicists believe in nonsense sci-fi prattle.

41:11 Kidnapping! Please come up to the counter if you’ve won. Although if you guessed that it wouldn‘t be the kid, that’s worth a x1.5 bonus.

Verdict: Why is it suddenly Christmas? The Halloween episode was four weeks ago. I mean, this aired on December 3rd. They were really hedging on how much we could stand at this point. (SIDENOTE: This is also the last broadcasted episode before the seasonal break, so they had to mention Christmas before then, I guess.) Still, they managed to throw a lot of plot points at us…none that I cared about. We saw D. Gibbs, FBI Guy was fired after being accused of future murdering his partner, Magician Man was kidnapped, all the women suddenly have different motivations. I kinda want to know what happens during the special two-part episode, marvelously called Revelation Zero.

*FlashForward is available on Netflix InstantWatch and Hulu. FlashForward is property of the American Broadcasting Company.