Sekirei - Episode 10: "The Night Before the Escape"

The next episode after this should have been called “Escape,” and then the one after that “The Night After the Escape,” that way I understand that they are all linked and they have an actual plot in mind and they are not viciously wasting my time.

LAST TIME: The big dramatic fight and potential reveal that a new enemy is in fact an ally and any potential drama was inexplicably cut short, and instead we switch focus to the douchebag who’s been dragging his lady friend through the city trying to escape. For some stupid reason, the team we follow totally wants to help him, and so now we get a whole episode where they plan this out. Seriously, why do they care about this new guy?

0:16 Snowing? Why is it snowing? It’s been summer literally the entire time so far.

0:50 I’m sorry you scraped your knees, we’ll be sure to kill you really fast.

1:35 Oh thanks. A big old pile of mush in a bag. I’ll enjoy this.

1:50 Oh those are meat buns. Glowing meat buns.

2:11 I just love this scarf!

3:58 HAHAHA! Someone misheard a word and thought it was carp, and there was a picture of a fish!

4:30 Yes, the crack of dawn. I can tell from all the light pouring through the window.

5:32 Did…they bug the apartment everyone is meeting in? Why? Why not just go to the meeting place?

6:40 The 10-year-old is still walking around in a penguin costume. For no reason.

7:43 Well hey, everyone’s motivation seems solely based around hanging out with boys. But you knew that already.

8:30 NOPE! I don’t remember that at all! We’re going to need a cutscene.

8:57 Wait, hang on. So, there are guys who control parts of the city with their sekirei now? When did they get this job? Was it when the city was shut down three days ago? How much power could they possibly have?

10:06 Oh okay, nobody controls the north because of superstition. Why not just leave from the North? Why mention those other parts at all?

10:28 Well hey, those are panties.

10:42 HOW DID SHE MAKE ALL HER CLOTHES EXPLODE? WHY DOES THAT KEEP HAPPENING?

12:24 Aren’t these two supposed to be twins? Why aren’t their, ahem, the same size? Have I really failed to notice that so far?

13:36 Dramatically looking at people!

13:52 “You’re my girl!” That’s why I treat you like a child!

14:20 YEAH! Screw that creep Minaka! What, who the hell is he?

15:04 Yes, I remember the real important reason you hacked into that satellite the first time. To kill someone with a space laser because you thought she was prettier than you.

15:31 Um, you don’t need to drunk to have an excuse to take your clothes off. You seem to do that all the time sober.

16:12 Just a scratch. Straight on my boob.

17:29 The animation is really starting to fall apart. They don’t even look like people anymore.

18:34 I think his nose just exploded.

19:11 Yeah, being super busy just wandering around the city with a dude in a dress. Just swamped!

19:56 The club? Shme works at a club? Wait, what the hell are they talking about?

20:25 Hey I saw this super awesome hole in the ground you made I’m going to completely spaz out now!

22:01 Wait hey really, the entire episode really was preparation for the escape? Well, at least they were accurate.

22:45 Is there anyone in this show who the main character isn’t afraid will try to rape him while being a dude?

23:36 Oh man, Glasses Chick gets a motorbike! And they promised that a character will die! I’m super excited about that.

Verdict: That was a waste of time. Also, I am still amazed the main character is still shocked that people want to have sex with him. It’s been a week, man. Get with the program.

*Sekirei is available on Netflix InstantWatch and Hulu. Sekirei is property of Sakurako Gokurakuin/Square Enix and the SEKIREI Project.