Sekirei - Episode 1: "Sekirei"

While considering what could possibly be dramatically different than the sci-fi drama fare I’m used to recapping, but also something that could be marginally fun to watch, I thought of a couple of ideas. Sitcoms (Every recap: “Hoho, that guy is fat and this show is awful”), Glee (which I decided against because I don’t want to bring lovers of the show down on my head), I even considered watching Jeff Dunham’s sketch show (because I am a masochist). But I did figure out a genre that I actually like in small doses with a lot of bad out there; anime.

I like when anime gets weird and heady, but there’s a lot of it out there that is just bland, goofy, and downright pervy. After looking about, I found one about a dorky kid who can’t get no respect until he discovers he has the power to control women in battle. You know, just like every bad anime! Let’s start watching Sekirei.

0:26 Guys! The guns aren’t working! Maybe choose another method of trying to kill her.

1:11 Hat! Hat! Take off the kid’s hat.

1:39 This started out cheerfully. Hundreds dead, killed by an unfeeling monster.

2:00 Holy crap is this main character shaped a bit unnaturally.

2:26 Yeah thanks, I wanted to see a cartoon’s camel toe.

3:14 The future!

3:59 That guy’s the villain, right? He…he can’t just wear that normally.

4:29 Yeah guy, real priorities. “No school, no job, I’ll probably never get laid.”

5:06 I know this stuff is standard, but I really have a problem with the goofy T&A nonsense that happens in anime.

6:04 Oh crap nudity!

6:14 Has anyone out there ever had their nose bleed when they saw a naked lady?

7:17 And…down.

8:32 That’s right, magic women who were born specifically to serve a man. Real classy, Japan.

9:04 Oh hey, it’s Mr. Roper!

9:29 Yes! Your lack of modesty bothers everyone!

10:42 Protip! If you don’t want to draw attention to yourself, don’t stop and point at the people you’re trying to avoid.

11:14 Oh jeez, her shirt tore open after being hit by lightning. Of course it did.

12:14 Could that has something to do with being nearly nude in public?

13:23 Don’t let that hot girl kiss that nerd! Something bad…will happen?

14:07 Why not? What’s this emerged bullshit?

14:55 I don’t think that wish of luck was sincere.

15:43 Any context would be awesome right now.

15:50 Also, I’m pretty sure that is a lady. Calling her guy isn’t fooling anyone.

16:31 Yes, that is the appropriate reaction to your brother asking for your old clothes. Ear-peeling laughter.

17:09 Maybe you don’t remember because she appeared to have said it in a completely different universe.

17:31 Oh this lunatic again.

18:10 Hey! Don’t jumpcut past the rules! The audience is curious.

19:17 It’s a box!

19:41 That’s a metaphor for sex…right?

19:55 Jeez, Three’s Company sure handled that a lot better. And when Three’s Company handles a situation better…

21:18 How does that one strand of hair on her head always stay standing up? It is pouring rain.

21:40 Oh jeez, got to make sure you have at least 10 feet clearance every time you kiss him, lady.

22:14 The fuck. She can create tornadoes.

22:41 108 is a magic number in Japan. It also tends to makes all their stories really really long.

23:28 Oh bleak, each episode is called a feather.

23:38 Don’t explain tropes to me, missie! I know my tropes.

Verdict: Oh, this was a worse idea than I thought…is it too late to watch Jeff Dunham?


*Sekirei is available on Netflix InstantWatch and Hulu. Sekirei is property of Sakurako Gokurakuin/Square Enix and the SEKIREI Project.