This book is neither tie-in nor event, however, being a mainline book that got roped in to the event because they needed something to do, and the buzz is someone is going to leave the team, and I’m going to imagine that it’s probably Mettle, based on the cover that they‘ve already shown us for issue 17, which is too bad, because I like Mettle. He’s a big old metal man with a heart of gold, and he deserves happiness. But whatever, we aren’t there yet. Let’s find out what’s happening now, as the Avengers Academy get their first “for serious this time” field action.
Page 2, Panel 2: Man, American comics cannot leave Paris alone! The entire city has been turned to stone? How?
Page 2, Panel 3: Bucky was sixteen during World War II? That makes him what, 72 now? Wow, he’s looking pretty good….for a corpse! (spoilers).
Page 3, Panel 3: That’s right, talk about the various aspects of your relationship during your critical mission briefing. No rush.
Page 4, Panel 2: Giant-Man gets to yell the crucial Avengers Assemble, and there’s a tiger person wearing a blue costume, which is super confusing because we were just told that Tigra was not going on this mission.
Page 5, Panel 1: Despite being specifically asked by Captain America himself to pitch in, the students are hanging out in the training room. Nice work, Pym.
Page 5, Panel 3: The capital of what? What else? Are you an American or not, Hazmat?
Page 7, Two-Page Spread: Oh shit, two Nazi robots! And some fire! This is obviously out of the Academy’s hands!
Page 9, Panel 2: When you are fifty feet tall, your panic eyes are like saucers.
Page 10, Panel 2: Let’s stop this dramatic battle that we’ve seen for two pages for a flashback to Tigra being all sad that her former boyfriend got shot. The artist also didn’t feel like drawing a second face for this flashback, so he looks likes the current guy she’s saving, making it extra confusing.
Page 11, Panel 2: That’s fucking neat! Their crazy dimensional doors open to a random hospital each time! Sure, the airfare to get everyone home will be hell, but nice idea.
Page 15, Panel 2: Mettle’s name is Ken? I guess he had an actual name, but this draws to the fore that I have no fucking idea what the civilian name of anyone of this team is.
Page 15, Panel 4: Damn you, Hank Pym, for something that was entirely my decision.
Page 16, Panel 2: Dubai needs help? Really? Don’t they have mechs or something? Also, how did Absorbing Man get to Dubai from South Africa?
Page 17, Panel 1: Seriously? Bringing up the soldiers in Afghanistan? Also, why are there soldiers in Afghanistan? Captain America exists.
Page 17, Panel 5: Absorbing Man is as powerful as Doctor Doom? I find that hard to believe.
Page 18, Panel 3: Sure was nice of Reptil to save Wedge Antilles. He’s got to go against the Death Star again.
Page 19, Panel 4: Yo, Giant-Man! We weren’t really paying attention, so you can stop talking any time now. I mean, I know it’s a nice dramatic speech juxtaposed against things you can’t see, but we kinda got villains who need twumping.
Page 20, Panel 1: Absorbing Man is suddenly as tall as Giant-Man. Who, we should recall, is giant. Also, some quote from some guy you never heard of. Thanks for the quote, Jose Narosky! How much have you seen as a notary writer?
Verdict: Oh man I hate fight scene issues. A comic issue can only contain so much red and orange before it’s just an overload. The scene with Mettle was nice, but only cemented my assumptions that he’s headed for the grave. But not too bad. There’s literally no characterization, but lots of explosions. And Nazis! Lots of Nazis!
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