Wednesday, June 15, 2011

15 Love #1

For most comic readers, there are only two publishers, who publish only superhero comics and are eternally at war with each other (a war that Marvel has been winning for many years now). Sure, there are dozens of indie companies that produce smart books like Witchblade or whatever, but for most, comics are all dudes in tights punching each other.

Of course, even the big two dabble in non-cape fare. DC has the critically-acclaimed Vertigo imprint, of which pretty much everything is good, and Marvel…well, Marvel pretty much does superheroes. They have the MAX imprint, but nobody reads that because it’s mostly smut, and the Icon label, which is mainly them trying to keep their best writers in house, but there’s not much dabbling in stuff that doesn’t target the 18-34 male demographic.

Which is why my mind boggled when I saw this comic on the shelves at my local shop, right next to the Hulk books. I have no idea what this is or what it is doing in Marvel‘s wheelhouse. It appears to be a girl’s comic about an average girl who’s into tennis, with manga inspired artwork and a ton of pages, being the most expensive non-one shot on the shelf that week. The writer is nobody special, a freelancer who did some work on Buffy, and the artist appears to be Marvel’s go-to manga guy. A bit of research turned up that this was actually finished eight years ago, under old leadership when they were trying new things, among them the reviled Marville and Trouble. When those books proved to be hated, this got backburnered, and hasn’t resurfaced until now. I’m surprised to see it at all.

I suddenly think this might be a bad idea. Alright, time to read it.

Page 2, Panel 5: Check out this jerk. Moping in with his Hawaiian shirt, ignoring folk, not throwing away his garbage properly. Must be a bad guy.

Page 3, Panel 3:
I’ve always wondered why tennis refs sit up so high like they’re lifeguards. Guess it’s easier to see the court or something. Also, who vocalizes breathing hard?

Page 5, Panel 4: I was unaware that high school tennis players were popular enough to require agents who demand ten percent for, what, sporting good store openings?

Page 6, Panel 2: Wait, where the hell is everybody? There are like five people in the crowd. Didn’t our heroine’s parents even bother to show up for this exposition?

Page 8, Panel 2: OH SHIT! Our plucky heroine has scored a single point! In this most assuredly unimportant match.

Page 8, Panel 8: And Princess Perfect throws a shitfit!

Page 9, Panel 1: Fucking cold, asshole. She is paying you to coach her.

Page 11, Panel 1: AH! The ref’s stand is tipping over! Help him oh that’s just a bad angle.

Page 11: Panel 4: Ug…I get it, the other girl is rich and spoiled. No need for cartoonish rich people talk. Jewelry allowance?

Page 11, Panel 5: Yeah, she lost to the best player in the entire club. Shouldn’t be that big of surprise.

Page 12, Panel 3: Was this comic co-written by John Hughes? Everyone is a complete dick to this girl.

Page 14, Panel 5: This guy doesn’t look like a bum…why are they treating him like one?

Page 14, Panel 8: Keep glances like that up, though, and he’ll definitely come off as a perv.

Page 15, Panel 4: You’re standing up for your asshole coach, Mill? Come on, that guy’s an asswipe.

Page 17, Panel 2: So wait, is this an academy that teaches exclusively tennis? Dorm rooms and everything? Do they have real classes too? These are still teenagers.

Page 18, Panel 3: You went to the movies last night! I was there! Don’t lie.


Page 18, Panel 6: Why does this girl stink on ice anyway? It’s implied that she’s trying really hard, and everyone else thinks she’s slacking off because her results suck. Maybe she has no natural talent?


Page 19, Panel 6: Um, the coach sucks, that should be obvious. You should really considering getting her a different one.

Page 20, Panel 3: Sure was nice of these guys to wear nametags for their monthly review meetings so the audience knows who they are.


Page 22, Panel 7: This is a gross conversation. Let’s go somewhere else.

Page 24, Panel 3: Oh man she is super determined.

Page 25, Panel 2: Jesus, why does everyone love this Dean coach? If he was a good coach, she would have won at least one match in the past eight months, maybe.

Page 25, Panel 7: “Oh no, this man in a hat is going to accost me!”

Page 27, Panel 3: Wife? How? You are a fat, broke slob who must be over 50.

Page 27, Panel 6: This is suddenly the worst idea.

Page 30, Panel 1: What on God’s green earth is going on? What’s with the no actual training and the cheesecake shot?

Page 31, Panel 2: Ah, the old “get your mind off the problem” technique. That is totally worth the $50 an hour or whatever you’re asking for training.

Page 32, Panel 5: I agree with what’s-her-name! This is weird.

Page 32, Panel 6: Oh ick, Lolita reference. Also, it’s more famously known as a book.

Page 33, Panel 4: And now the creep couple are talking about getting pictures taken of her…

Page 34, Panel 2: Oh! There are dudes at this Academy.

Page 34, Panel 5: “Do you have any injuries? Because I’ll totally touch your leg inappropriately if so!”

Page 35, Panel 6: Wait, is he offering the minor a swig from his flask?

Page 36, Panel 2: Oh okay, he was just going to go to McSmudges.

Page 38: Oh this is novel. Actual coaching.

Page 40, Panel 1: Hasn’t her day off come and gone already?  Stay focused on the life-changing game, please.

Page 41, Panel 2: You’re making your guest do the dishes? Dicks. Also, the game is tomorrow already?

Page 44, Panel 4: And he shows up like he’s going to the beach? Why do we trust this guy?

Page 45, Panel 2: Wait, she lost?! What the hell is going to happen in the next two issues?

Page 46: If this page is any indication, she becomes a professional model, I guess…

Verdict: This is a weird one. It’s competent, but I have no idea where the message is going, and it definitely feels like this young lady made the worst mistake of her life depending on this jackass who can’t keep his promises. But the art does well enough, and the writing isn’t bad, so I’ll probably read the next one.

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