LAST TIME: The surviving members of the planet Sakaar flee in a rockship after the planet’s destruction (not pictured). One of them is the Messiah, and proclaims vengeance against Galactus, the mindless immortal cosmic force, because it’s totally his fault that the planet and nearly everyone on it was killed (It’s not.) They go to a planet full of racists.
Page 1, Panel 1: Near the Mountains of Zerdos!
Page 1, Panel 2: What, Hiro is the Great Deceiver? Isn’t that usually…bad?
Page 2, Panel 2: Wasn’t this guy like born 14 years ago or whatever? How did he “give life” exactly?
Page 3, Panel 1: Torture them, then kill them. I can’t think of a reason not to be needlessly evil.
Page 3, Panel 4: Oh no some guys we haven’t seen before died somehow.
Page 5, Panel 2: You, random bug man. I give you my powers. Enjoy, do whatever.
Page 5, Panel 4: Also, I didn’t want to turn you into a gross monster.
Page 6, Panel 1: I’ma punch you good.
Page 7, Panel 1: Gus, you can’t introduce something called Shire Tigers without at least showing them to us. Or maybe they did, these panels are so busy.
Page 8, Panel 1: To be fair, prophet, these guys were going to kill us all without remorse.
Page 8, Panel 3: Yeah, I guess if you’ve been attacked by Galactus once, you’d constantly be afraid he’ll come back.
Page 9, Panel 4: Maybe a wizard did it!
Page 10, Panel 2: Why do kings and other authority figures always want to be left alone? You are in charge! People will need things from you!
Page 10, Panel 5: Sword, I guess.
Page 11, Panel 3: Question, has anyone tried to shoot him? I mean, he is just standing there. You have guns.
Page 12, Panel 3: Ghost Mom, always cramping your style, asking why you didn’t go to medical school.
Page 12, Panel 5: Oh sure, this is a message for Galactus. Galactus, who is currently acting in mindless hunger, and generally doesn’t give a shit about what anyone smaller than him ever does. Great plan!
Page 14, Panel 1: Man, I really want to know what happened two hundred years ago. They keep bringing it up. I’m sure it was super interesting.
Page 14, Panel 2: OH! OH! Tear off his face!
Page 15, Panel 5: Oh, okay, he had corpse explosion cast on his monster.
Page 16, Panel 2: Remember, my servant, I am a huge dick!
Page 16, Panel 5: Hey guys, check out my sweet hoverpad.
Page 17, Panel 3: I wield the gobbledy-gook sword, that uses the same power that you yourself have been wielding effortlessly, so it probably won’t hurt you, but hey, I’m a big idiot, whatever.
Page 17, Panel 6: Facezap!
Page 18, Panel 5: Sweet mustache, wall guy.
Page 19, Panel 4: Capitulate? Just say surrender, you weirdo.
Page 20, Panel 6: RUDE YO! He was doing what you wanted, why did you give him the old thumbscrews?
Page 21, Panel 3: We didn’t really get a chance to answer!
Page 22, Panel 1: This word art is stupid, and not that interesting. So, of course, act like this is a big, issue-ending deal.
Verdict: That was muddy and pointless. Our god character did shitty god things, the art was difficult to interpret, and man I am anti-invested in what happens to anyone involved. We were just introduced to this planet, why would we care if it exploded? Huh?
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