Are we talking BOGO, or free with a two year contract? I’m not sure I’m willing to stick with a single product that long. Oh wait, you’re now suddenly willing to throw in a carrying case? Hmm…
LAST TIME: Some dumb thing involving white supremacists that isn’t actually important because whatever they are up to happens during the next day, so it doesn’t matter. It does get the Asian Guy in trouble, but Taye saves him and gets some information that isn’t that important. So…nothing. Nothing happened last time.
0:44 Oh right! There’s a corrupt politician. How did I completely forget about him? Because he’s boring? Yeah, because he is boring.
1:21 Flying to San Francisco? Really? You are taking a good two hours out of your busy day and putting your name in an easily trackable system while you are wanted for murder.
1:48 Apparently all police shop at SuperMaxx.
2:57 This white nerd suddenly decided he’s scared of airplanes? They are just now landing!
3:58 Taye! Taye buddy! I think she is flirting with you! You should totally hit that! Tomorrow is literally not going to happen! No consequences!
5:17 Wait, this guy has been in jail for 17 years and he is still shanking guards three times a year? That guy is balls hard.
6:09 Also, the flight attendant is gay. “I am, I really am.”
7:28 Man this is got to be boring as hell. Having to take the same damn flight three days in a row. At least the middle seat is empty.
7:40 MR. PUSHER MAN! That guy is racist is shit.
8:12 Um…I’m pretty sure she has seen the Eiffel Tower, she’s been to Paris five times!
9:13 Oh hey, the series code phrase was finally spoken in the actual show a second time outside of the recap.
10:44 I thought…the pretty lady was in the safe house, not the drug lord. What are they talking about? Also, where is the pretty lady?
11:27 He can steal your soul while you’re sleeping!
12:40 I’m pretty sure this show defines execution style differently than I do.
13:30 This guy has really complicated facial hair for a weekly television show.
14:56 I just realized what a shitty location this is for a political junket. Underneath a bridge?
15:50 Oh snap! The bad cop just totally trapped her! That was clever!
17:00 Haha, that guy has a lot of ridiculous tattoos.
17:53 OH NO! He totally shot the shit out of that guy! Good thing…time…resets…itself. (Seriously, stop it.)
18:47 How dare you murder folk in front of me? That just makes me so peeved.
20:22 Is the Asian Guy on vacation, why are we hanging out with the Bad Cop?
21:13 Show her your penis!
22:00 Um…hands?
22:40 Because you have a giant unaddressed scar on your face?
23:45 Did we just skip an entire day? Or was that just a dumb time lapse?
24:18 Just the name of the guy I’m waiting for, which can easily be looked up on the Internet.
25:13 OH NO that guy I totally knew was there for at least 45 seconds because you made it super obvious!
25:45 And murder cases make me horny.
26:06 We should celebrate. With shower sex. (literally what happened)
27:07 Did you…forget to pull the GPS tracker? Why are those guys still following him?
27:22 Oh shit he has a dog! I completely forgot!
28:06 Man it is a good thing that mattress was there for him to be comfortably pushed into.
28:41 Wait…is he just now figuring out there is a vast conspiracy to frame him for murder? We kind of already knew that!
29:33 The landlord is a terrible liar! The worst!
30:07 Um…lunch break, apparently.
31:32 There he is! Where have you been, buddy?
32:02 Nice mustache, bro. That’s a good police mustache.
33:15 Big dramatic screaming scene at the 30-minute mark!
33:42 The…only way? Have you considered leaving town? That’s a lot safer.
34:33 Good job Taye! It only took you, what, a goddamn month to prove you aren’t the killer?
35:24 Oh good they are addressing the scar. I was afraid they would just…forget about it.
36:29 Man Ryerson is such a putz. Really? Bringing up the kitchen wall after you’ve been divorced for over a year?
37:49 That seems ridiculous reckless, hired murderer. Seriously leaving your thumbprint at every scene?
38:48 Hurray he found the murderer! He is officially cleared and there is no more drama! Boy, sure hope the day doesn’t reset itself again!
40:12 Why do people in TV shows do that? I never feel the need to stare blankly in the middle distance during poignant moments.
41:17 All of your favorite moments! Remember when that thing broke? Yeah me neither.
41:41 Wamp wamp!
Verdict: Ah, I remember this part in Act 2 of Groundhog Day. When Billy Murray manages to have a realistic, romantic moment with Andie MacDowell and time still reset itself? Yep, good moment. Poor Taye though…he got so much done and yet hasn’t gotten goddamn anywhere. He has to go all the way to the top!
LAST TIME: Some dumb thing involving white supremacists that isn’t actually important because whatever they are up to happens during the next day, so it doesn’t matter. It does get the Asian Guy in trouble, but Taye saves him and gets some information that isn’t that important. So…nothing. Nothing happened last time.
0:44 Oh right! There’s a corrupt politician. How did I completely forget about him? Because he’s boring? Yeah, because he is boring.
1:21 Flying to San Francisco? Really? You are taking a good two hours out of your busy day and putting your name in an easily trackable system while you are wanted for murder.
1:48 Apparently all police shop at SuperMaxx.
2:57 This white nerd suddenly decided he’s scared of airplanes? They are just now landing!
3:58 Taye! Taye buddy! I think she is flirting with you! You should totally hit that! Tomorrow is literally not going to happen! No consequences!
5:17 Wait, this guy has been in jail for 17 years and he is still shanking guards three times a year? That guy is balls hard.
6:09 Also, the flight attendant is gay. “I am, I really am.”
7:28 Man this is got to be boring as hell. Having to take the same damn flight three days in a row. At least the middle seat is empty.
7:40 MR. PUSHER MAN! That guy is racist is shit.
8:12 Um…I’m pretty sure she has seen the Eiffel Tower, she’s been to Paris five times!
9:13 Oh hey, the series code phrase was finally spoken in the actual show a second time outside of the recap.
10:44 I thought…the pretty lady was in the safe house, not the drug lord. What are they talking about? Also, where is the pretty lady?
11:27 He can steal your soul while you’re sleeping!
12:40 I’m pretty sure this show defines execution style differently than I do.
13:30 This guy has really complicated facial hair for a weekly television show.
14:56 I just realized what a shitty location this is for a political junket. Underneath a bridge?
15:50 Oh snap! The bad cop just totally trapped her! That was clever!
17:00 Haha, that guy has a lot of ridiculous tattoos.
17:53 OH NO! He totally shot the shit out of that guy! Good thing…time…resets…itself. (Seriously, stop it.)
18:47 How dare you murder folk in front of me? That just makes me so peeved.
20:22 Is the Asian Guy on vacation, why are we hanging out with the Bad Cop?
21:13 Show her your penis!
22:00 Um…hands?
22:40 Because you have a giant unaddressed scar on your face?
23:45 Did we just skip an entire day? Or was that just a dumb time lapse?
24:18 Just the name of the guy I’m waiting for, which can easily be looked up on the Internet.
25:13 OH NO that guy I totally knew was there for at least 45 seconds because you made it super obvious!
25:45 And murder cases make me horny.
26:06 We should celebrate. With shower sex. (literally what happened)
27:07 Did you…forget to pull the GPS tracker? Why are those guys still following him?
27:22 Oh shit he has a dog! I completely forgot!
28:06 Man it is a good thing that mattress was there for him to be comfortably pushed into.
28:41 Wait…is he just now figuring out there is a vast conspiracy to frame him for murder? We kind of already knew that!
29:33 The landlord is a terrible liar! The worst!
30:07 Um…lunch break, apparently.
31:32 There he is! Where have you been, buddy?
32:02 Nice mustache, bro. That’s a good police mustache.
33:15 Big dramatic screaming scene at the 30-minute mark!
33:42 The…only way? Have you considered leaving town? That’s a lot safer.
34:33 Good job Taye! It only took you, what, a goddamn month to prove you aren’t the killer?
35:24 Oh good they are addressing the scar. I was afraid they would just…forget about it.
36:29 Man Ryerson is such a putz. Really? Bringing up the kitchen wall after you’ve been divorced for over a year?
37:49 That seems ridiculous reckless, hired murderer. Seriously leaving your thumbprint at every scene?
38:48 Hurray he found the murderer! He is officially cleared and there is no more drama! Boy, sure hope the day doesn’t reset itself again!
40:12 Why do people in TV shows do that? I never feel the need to stare blankly in the middle distance during poignant moments.
41:17 All of your favorite moments! Remember when that thing broke? Yeah me neither.
41:41 Wamp wamp!
Verdict: Ah, I remember this part in Act 2 of Groundhog Day. When Billy Murray manages to have a realistic, romantic moment with Andie MacDowell and time still reset itself? Yep, good moment. Poor Taye though…he got so much done and yet hasn’t gotten goddamn anywhere. He has to go all the way to the top!
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