Hiatus

I'm moving! I thought I would be able to plan ahead but it didn't happen. So, see you in a couple of weeks?

Son of Hulk – Issue 13: “Problem Child”

Is that him? Is that the son of Hulk? I expected him to be greener. I’m also going to assume that he’s got a fancy futuristic breathing thingy behind his arm to explain why he’s in space naked.

Swinging back to Marvel to focus on some marginalized character that nobody actually cares about. I have been recently introduced to the son of Hulk in the Dark Avengers, which replaced the Thunderbolts because apparently their adventures through time got boring or something, I don’t know. Anyway, the son of Hulk, Skaar I guess his name is, is the new leader of that dumb team, and I want to find out who the hell he is.

Then I do a modicum of research and find out that Skaar isn’t even IN this book, this about Hulk’s other son, who is less green and besworded and more skinny and naked and an orphan and no doubt obnoxious. Blech. Well, I’ve already typed three paragraphs, can’t turn back now.

Day Break - Episode 10: “What If He’s Free”

Are we talking BOGO, or free with a two year contract? I’m not sure I’m willing to stick with a single product that long. Oh wait, you’re now suddenly willing to throw in a carrying case? Hmm…

LAST TIME: Some dumb thing involving white supremacists that isn’t actually important because whatever they are up to happens during the next day, so it doesn’t matter. It does get the Asian Guy in trouble, but Taye saves him and gets some information that isn’t that important. So…nothing. Nothing happened last time.

Rosario + Vampire - Episode 14: "Reunion and a Vampire"

OKAY FINE I’ll do the second season. Mainly because I’m curious where they can go with that fake non-ending of the last season, and because I want to see more of Witch #2...for non-perverted reasons. Let’s get this started.

LAST TIME: Everything turned out okay after all, despite there being a dozen reasons why it shouldn’t have. So on to more petty bickering and love hexahedrons I guess!

Simon Dark - Issue 6: "Simple Simon"

Damn it, how did I not figure out that amusing insult until now? Stupid book beat me to it. Also, this might the first effective cover they’ve had, too bad they waited until now to show it to us.

LAST TIME: Simon throws the mother of all hissy fits, ripping roofs off cars, throwing dudes into churches, just being a petulant little jerk. Eventually some guy gets his arm ripped off, which…was kinda funny. Also, some guy speaking Latin dies for no reason.

Day Break - Episode 9: "What If They’re Connected"

You mean there might be some vast network of conspiracies going on in this story about time loops and secret murder set-ups you say? I refuse to believe it.

LAST TIME: This one was all about family, as Taye bothers his sister a lot, and also visits his Moms, which is hilarious. Also, they discovered that the lady in that cold case they keep bringing up was pregnant with an alien. Or a premature baby, I can’t tell the difference.

Rosario+Vampire - Episode 13: "Tsukune and a Vampire"

So…I’ve stared at this title for weeks, and did not have any idea what they were talking about, until I realized that Tsukune was the name of the main character. I don’t know how I missed that. Oh right….panties.

LAST TIME: OH SHIT everyone knows the main character is a human and they are going to goddamn kill him. I don’t think I need to say anymore. That’s pretty much all the important shit, right?

Simon Dark - Issue 5: "Step on a Crack"

I hate this roof! (Also, get it, rips the lid off, get it? I get it.)

LAST TIME: The girls get to know to each other, while Simon spends the issue dicking around on rooftops, and a bad guy pulls some poor kitten’s head off. Poor kitty.

Day Break - Episode 8: "What If She's Lying"

This is the part where I make a mildly-sexist joke while at the same time trying to assure you I’m not sexist, even though it’s not very convincing. So yeah, not doing that. People of all genders, races, and religions lie! It happens!

LAST TIME: Taye discovers the whole mess is tied up in some fancy club, so he goes there and meets the crazy bearded guy again. Taye thinks the bearded guy is also time looping, when in the end he really is just crazy. There’s also a second group of conspirators, who I will nickname “The Fat Guy Syndicate,” who also know something, but don’t say a goddamn thing. Helpful, guys.

Rosario+Vampire - Episode 12: "Security Committee and a Vampire"

Boring name. We know this is about the security committee. We saw them already. This tells us nothing.

LAST TIME: Our team gets back from vacation and prints out a newspaper, because they are still in the newspaper club for some reason. But turns out there’s a rival newspaper club, which is actually a front of discredit the team by some ugly spider lady. Then some people in dark rooms say some spooky things. Spooky….

Simon Dark - Issue 4: "Follow the Leader"

LADY! RUN! RUUUN! NO SERIOUSLY!

LAST TIME: Simon Dark comes back to life for no reason after dying for no reason. He goes to stop a rape that would’ve happened for no reason, and then some guy destroys another guy’s eye for no reason. You get what I’m going for here.

Day Break - Episode 7: "What If He's Not Alone"

FINALLY! About time we start getting some more action into this. He needs some friends up in this joint.

LAST TIME: The secret organization finds out Taye is putting it together, and so starts murdering his friends. Of course, it doesn’t take, because time loop. Taye finds Mike and roughs him up, in turn getting him killed somehow. Also the sister is involved, I don’t know.

Rosario + Vampire - Episode 11: "New Term and a Vampire"

Here’s crossing our fingers that this term will be less needlessly violent than the last one. Maybe they sorted the whole “mermaids recruiting men to die in a pool” situation that seems to be prevalent. Maybe excused the teacher who enslaves students against their will? Nah, they probably just got a frozen yogurt machine.

LAST TIME: The team fought a witch who lost her fucking shit. She wanted to kill literally everyone. Luckily, she was knocked out somehow and then found in the ocean and now everything is okay I guess.