Okay, I’ve done my research to find out what else these poor actors have done, and have some startling results. The daughter was an actor in the hilarious TV movie Cyberbully, the son played the young James T. Kirk (you know, the one who fought Robocop), the DA’s movie career was launched by the movie The Pest with John Leguizamo (I know!) and did the rapping segments in “Opposites Attract“, and the female assistant is the most attractive person on the planet Earth. Oh, she also played Marcia in the worst idea ever, “The Brady Bunch in the White House.” So there’s no confusion, I will be referring to them as Pills, Tiberius, MC Skat Kat, and Marcia, respectively. Thank you for putting up with my childish name calling.
LAST TIME: Some random family crashlands in South America and this somehow gives each of them separate and distinct superpowers. It’s okay, it happens in all the comic books that way as well. Anyway, Chiklis decides to use his powers to fight crime, while his wife just runs a lot. We also find out there are other people with superpowers, which I’m sure won’t come up again.
0:01 Is Chiklis going to tell us that stories typically begin at the start of every episode? I know stories start. Maybe they can actually go somewhere, hmm?
0:14 When they hell did he lift a van? I don’t remember him lifting a van.
0:48 So, are there a whole bunch of supers just going up to the roof and looking at the huge dents this guy is leaving just scratching their heads?
2:01 Good work, Superman. You managed to get run over by the car.
2:38 You are really zipping over to the fridge with your superpowers? That saves, what, two seconds?
3:58 Well, her commute time is cut down by like 99%, so of course she doesn’t have to leave so early in the morning.
4:57 Wait, whose office is this? I thought we saw her lab in the first episode. She had pictures up and everything.
5:58 That is a bulky damn mp3 player. Does she keep that in her pocket or in this vestigial pouch she also grew with her new superpowers?
6:36 Hey it’s Hulk Hogan! I wonder what he did wrong.
7:07 You know what? Maybe instead of getting a good look at his face, maybe check the license number of the van next time?
8:48 Man, Animal Man probably has this conversation all the time.
9:20 That is concern B? That someone sees him? That should be at the top of the list!
9:46 I really don’t get the title card. What’s with the wind blowing through the curtains?
10:31 Earl Locker? I’m I supposed to get that reference?
11:03 Yeah, what exactly did you think was going to happen when you tried to hit him with a car? One of you is going to get hurt.
11:27 And they referenced Batman. Make up your mind, guys. Marvel or DC.
13:03 What are you doing? Reading books in public! How dare you!
14:05 Why doesn’t the son want his parents to know he has superpowers? I mean, they are going to notice the fact that you suddenly are getting straight A’s.
14:58 Oh…the boss of the science place is the big bad. That’s…interesting.
15:30 WHAT A BITCH! Women are allowed to have careers, you stupid pill.
16:25 Yeah, maybe don’t check your phone while running at superspeed? What did you think was going to happen?
17:29 Why would Dr. King still be at the lab? It has been at least five hours since you received that call.
18:14 Why are they calling a moratorium on their powers? Because she fell down and immediately healed? Also, won’t you understand your powers better if you used them?
19:27 Oh come on Chiklis, don’t dog on MC Skat Kat like that. Things didn’t work out with Paula Abdul, okay?
21:01 Why does the math teacher still think he is cheating? He just answered a math problem without warning directly in front of you. Do you think he had an earpiece or something?
22:30 Great work on that “no using your powers” treaty, Darla. Just forget about it when it’s convenient for you.
25:05 Oh muffins! When were those baked?
25:28 And she just ate all the muffins at superspeed…good to know that she’s willing to break the rules just whenever she feels like it.
26:12 We were watching the really interesting guy walking down the street show!
27:06 You mean hang out with your family that I have not been shown ever hanging out and who seemed really unconcerned that you showed up? Yeah sure, I’ll jump right on that.
28:40 I hope I never see that lady again, she is the worst.
29:14 I’m curious, how does super math powers help one win at ring toss? Is a trajectory thing?
30:04 I remember this stupid plot cul-de-sac from X-Men 2! I hope she doesn’t needlessly sacrifice herself and then become evil.
31:06 Now let’s hope that this ferris wheel starts moving soon! We’ve been stuck up here for like 15 minutes.
31:43 But this guy is a huge dick! Drop him in the water!
32:38 Why would bank robbers return to the scene of the crime to rob the bank again?
33:53 Why did that take MC Skat Kat hostage? Also where the hell are the police?
34:40 Oh here’s the van lifting scene! Good job spoiling the surprise, guys.
35:43 Exactly how many people are you going to let into your circle of Superfriends here? Because the number of people you’re willing to tell you have superpowers is getting excessive.
36:59 I kinda like that they establish that there are super powered villains on the loose before they become vigilantes. It’s a nice twist.
37:10 Why are you reading a five year old comic book, Tiberius? All the twists from Civil War have already been reversed.
38:55 Darla wants to find a cure to the coolest thing ever? Why?
39:33 In a stunning development, Pills can now walk down the hall like a normal person again. Great episode arc!
41:48 Oh no not the police detective! I kinda liked her!
Verdict: Still trying to get its legs I see! Understandable, making a believable superhero team is hard work. Especially when you haven’t clearly established what the bad guy’s motivations are. Seriously, why is the big bad science guy doing all this crime? Why have your fleet of superbaddies do regular stuff like rob banks? Don’t you have an income source? Why do I care more about you than I care about the titular family?
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