LAST TIME: Beardo went absolutely ballistic because his daughter was kidnapped by the randomly evil Jericho corporation, Dmitri’s girlfriend got a little too involved in his work life, and have the FBI is going to Africa, which is apparently very dangerous. Boy, the stakes could be…higher. Wait, what does Beardo’s plot have to do with anything? Is Jericho responsible for the blackout somehow? They better be.
0:56 Okay, why are they all wearing Red Panda jackets? They couldn’t figure out some other way to sneak into Somolia?
1:30 Are they…talking in code? I hope so, because that would be a ridiculous stupid conversation otherwise.
2:32 That is a hydra! Everyone knows this!
2:57 Oh no! How dare someone try to teach their child a second language from birth, when it is extremely easy to learn? Those monsters.
3:42 Keep in mind, of course, that this is the only conversation that he’s had with his daughter since the series started, so of course that’s the only thing that he’s gotten out of her.
5:10 Yep, saw that coming. Of course they are going to instantly kill the one character we haven’t met.
6:50 Oh, okay, the little kid from that one episode was in fact this insane militant terrorist. That’ll happen.
7:28 Wait, he had that nasty scar when he was eight? What the hell happened?
8:05 Apparently whenever there’s a blackout, some wacky animal shows up and makes faces at people. This time it was a camel.
8:33 And they just shot the other guy we haven’t seen before. The guy I hadn’t even realized was there. Yep. High stakes.
9:13 I like how he’s on that special kind of chemo that causes him to throw up all the time but still keep his head of hair.
9:58 Babysitter has decided to become a doctor, because…
11:20 Ah, dickhead from Hong Kong insulted Dmitri to his face to cause a diversion, so they could escape. Great plan.
13:44 The Denver Omelet. You’ve heard of it, right? Denver Omelet. It’s a joke!
14:19 It isn’t always snowy in Denver, guy. They have seasons.
15:59 Great rebuttal, insane African warlord.
16:29 Hey warlord, maybe point your gun and someone whose name shows up during the opening credits. It’s like you know isn’t important.
17:33 Ah, look at that little guy, carrying around his AK-47. Go get 'em, tiger.
18:08 A lot of people sure are giving speeches during their Flashforwards. How come we never see anyone watching a speech?
19:58 I have given you exactly seven minutes to make your decision! Now, hurry up!
20:41 You do? How do you know about the better angels? What the hell are you talking about?
21:26 She’s going to solve the problem with the insane warlord by checking her Facebook.
22:36 Oh, better angels is a Lincoln thing. That’s kinda nice.
23:09 She doesn’t need to mark it, you’re playing an electronic video game.
24:48 D. Gibbons wasn’t in the goddamn house!? That was a lame lame plot hook.
25:41 Wasn’t Magician Guy on the phone with FBI Guy literally seconds before in the Flashforward? How can it be confirmed he was killed if FBI Guy didn’t even notice he died?
27:03 If…his people didn’t get killed during the first blackout, then where the hell did they go?
27:32 Okay, buddy, are you Islam or not? You said God earlier, not Allah, and you choose the one verse that happens to have a Christian significance as well. Make up your mind, pal.
28:59 It’s a chessboard. You’d think this would be the most insignificant thing in this building full of superfuturistic technology, but it has exactly what we need inside it.
30:28 Really? You can recognize the man was shrouded in shadow with a hood over his face that tried to blow you up two months ago?
31:18 Danger: Radiation. No windows or doors or anything, just a sign.
32:31 Room full of dead people. Of course they killed everyone in the village. They wouldn’t be unambiguously evil if they hadn’t.
33:28 It is unfortunate that the word for mother in the Somali language sounds like the Spanish word for chicken.
35:43 I find that ultimatums always work great in keeping a relationship alive and healthy. But go ahead and do that.
36:19 I was going to ask, “What about the rest of the militia?” but it turns out they were all good guys after all. They are now willing to give you crackers!
37:07 Hey don’t be sad, lady. Maybe you can get knocked up by one of the impoverished Somalian soldiers!
38:13 Are you seriously considering knocking up your FBI partner!? Seriously? That was supposed to be a joke.
39:14 What the fuck? What are you doing in the FBI Guy’s backyard? Why would you meet there? Of all places!
40:07 That’s right, girl, he went to Duke! And he gave you a calculator. You could do worse.
41:37 Dmitri is ready to shoot anyone, even though everyone in the village is suddenly his friend.
42:14 What the fuck? Dyson Frost managed to record a message to Dmitri, 18 years in the past. That is a twist.
Verdict: Some nice twists! Sure, nothing makes any sense, like what anyone’s plan is or why there are so many dead bodies lying about, but hey, enough to get you coming back next week. Nurse Guy completely forgot about his future girlfriend, Dmitri maybe did something that goes above and beyond all moral codes, and the good guys just killed Somalia’s only hope for peace. NICE JOB, FBI.
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