Shadowpact #6: "The Wild Hunt"

That’s…a lot of goddamn mastiffs. I mean, they are cool dogs, but more than a dozen? That is kinda overdoing it. I also like that they call out the two people that they didn't put on the cover, as if those people are in any danger of dying. Yeah, sure, comic book characters dying. Craziest thing I’ve ever heard! (RIP Ralph Dibny. Pour one out for my elongated bro.)

LAST TIME: Everyone had a beard! They tried to pick up their scattered lives after losing a year, and someone took over the bar, and the Ragman was attacked by some DC Universe character. Oh, and some unknown Big Bad apparently inspired Batman, which is the craziest damn thing I’ve heard since Batman fought some giant plant in the future or something. I don’t get Morrison at all.

FlashForward: Episode 22 - "Future Shock"

Oh man I loved this Magic set. Oh wait, that was Future Sight. Um…I was a fan of that…book by futurist Alvin Toffler? No…that doesn’t work either. I don’t know, last episode, moving on!

LAST TIME: Nobody gets what they want. Everyone is sad and alone, FBI Guy is in jail, Charlie and crew are going…somewhere, Beardo’s daughter is dead, even Babysitter is sad because of something that is not worth being drowned over. It sucks for everyone, okay?

Glup

It hasn’t come up here before, but…I hate Spanish animation. I don’t know why, but every CG movie from Spain has been over the top in terms of story, animation, and general awfulness. They seem to know precisely what they aren’t doing, and it’s kinda fun to watch. So, let’s watch something so Spanish they didn’t bother to translate the cover art.

Netflix Synopsis: After chasing her favorite toy into the trash, Alicia ends up trapped in the foreign surroundings of a garbage dump. Now, her only friends are the cast-off things that live there, including a crusading toaster and a valiant trench coat who goes by the name Detective Glup. They want to help Alicia find her way home, but first they've got to circumvent the wicked Don Bater, who wants to lure Glup and his friends into the incinerator!

…couldn’t she just talk to the dump manager? Where are her parents? Is Glup the stupidest name they could come up with? And what makes a trench coat a detective anyway? Also, Don Bater?

Demon King Daimao - Episode 9: "Crazy Fuss about an Arranged Marriage"

Yeah, what’s the big deal? I mean jeez, it’s not like our societal values have adjusted greatly in the past 100 years that the mere concept of women being auctioned off to the highest bidder is seen as barbaric by most Western cultures and is gradually losing favor, even in Japan. I mean come on, it’s not like this show was produced just last year!

LAST TIME: The hero is suddenly very concerned that his good friend isn’t going to class, and so he does something about it. Of course, it doesn't really get resolved because a monster shows up, and for some reason our hero just sits and watches as his friend solves the problem instead. It was pretty much all filler, but there was no nudity, so I liked it.

Shadowpact #5: "One Year Later"

Who the hell built that monument? The only people who seemed to care that Shadowpact has been missing for a year was the Phantom Stranger, and he hadn’t given up on them yet, even having random ladies go on guard duty to look for them. Also, pigeon pooping on Blue Devil’s head!

LAST TIME: After getting captured, the team is set free by some moron who changes side for no reason, and then Nightshade saves the day by capturing pretty much anyone. Then some magic happens and it’s a year later, and everyone suddenly has a beard. Even the women! (Not actually the women.)