LAST TIME: The Messiah lands on some planet and just starts killing everyone, and we’re not really told why. We also have no reason to care because everyone involved is a full Kevin Bacon removed from anyone interesting in the Marvel universe.
Page 1, Panel 1: You know this is a prophecy because it started with the words, “And Lo!”
Page 1, Panel 3: It’s “come a-tumbling down.” Can’t forget the ‘a.’
Page 2, Panel 1: They made their wall out of plastic? That’s stupid. Use rocks. Or steel.
Page 2, Panel 3: What’s with the weird leg restriction? Do these aliens have three legs? What if a rhino came charging at them? You’d feel pretty dumb about setting such a weird precedent, wouldn’t you?
Page 3, Panel 5: Yeah, that’ll happen.
Page 4, Panel 6: I guess they really do have three legs. I couldn’t tell before because a) Why would they? What a pointless detail. And b) We never saw one below the waist before.
Page 5, Panel 1: Also, why are we all wearing these robes? Who are we?
Page 6, Panel 3: HEY! No need to insult me, boss, I’m just trying to do my job here.
Page 7, Panel 2: So…how did Hiro walk all the way to the temple without hundreds of dudes shooting at him?
Page 8, Panel 1: Apparently they have Russians on this planet as well. Russians goddamn everywhere.
Page 8, Panel 2: Premier Skiorlov?! These actually are Space Russians.
Page 8, Panel 3: I thought the treaty was only signed two hundred years ago? How is it suddenly four thousand?
Page 9, Panel 1: Apparently the third faction on this planet lives in Las Vegas.
Page 9, Panel 2: And…doesn’t speak English like all the others…
Page 9, Panel 5: Ooh…and they controlled by a sexy lady. With three legs! That’s not just a mistake by the artist, I think that other leg is supposed to be there.
Page 10, Panel 5: Also, what is it? What is any of this?
Page 11, Panel 1: Wait…how does he know that? Did he check out the Wikipedia page for this planet in the downtime?
Page 11, Panel 4: This innocent creature deserves to die because of something that happened literally thousands of years before it was born. I am a just god!
Page 11, Panel 5: And obviously setting it free isn’t an option, so…
Page 12, Panel 2: Maybe he hasn’t spoken to you because you guys are just really boring.
Page 12, Panel 4: The flaming descent of a robot bee hours after any combat apparently not worthy of comment.
Page 13, Panel 3: Science and prophecy, not the same thing.
Page 14, Panel 2: Wait…if this old power or whatever is just a fake version of the power cosmic, who the hell made it and injected it into these planets? How can an artificial power source course throughout living beings naturally?
Page 14, Panel 4: Oh, okay the shadow people made it. Then it destroyed a quarter of the universe when they were out for smokes, I guess, so they are just started cleaning up the mess ten thousand years ago.
Page 15, Panel 3: I’m with Prophet Guy, what could you have possibly done about this had you known? It is, at best, just mildly interesting trivia.
Page 15, Panel 4: And why does he need to be stopped? What do you care if all these xenophobic dicks die? They were planning on killing you!
Page 17, Panel 1: GAH GALACTUS FACE!
Page 18, Panel 1: The Abbey? Just…any old abbey?
Page 18, Panel 2: He’s been standing at this window for days, as you can tell by that puddle under his feet.
Page 18, Panel 5: Oh dear something exploded somehow!
Page 19, Panel 3: I’m not sure this is how perspective works.
Page 20, Panel 1: Durr, I have a flame thrower!
Page 21, Panel 3: Because I’m an asshole. (Literally no reason he couldn’t just help everyone.)
Page 22, Panel 1: How did this huge army get behind them? Where is anyone?
Page 22, Panel 3: Oh no that lady who is apparently a princess double-crossed them! For some reason!
Verdict: Man, this Hiro guy is such a dick, and his motives seem dubious. He let a puppy die, you guys. He let a puppy die. Oh also, everything else that’s been happening seems pointless. And why do these aliens all have three legs?
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