LAST TIME: The girls get to know to each other, while Simon spends the issue dicking around on rooftops, and a bad guy pulls some poor kitten’s head off. Poor kitty.
Page 1, Panel 1: Yep, still gruesome. Thanks.
Page 2, Panel 3: That look means, “Should I run? How fast? Very fast?”
Page 3, Panel 2: Um…maybe?
Page 3, Panel 5: Like Frankenstein. Come on, say like Frankenstein. He’s in the public domain.
Page 3, Panel 6: OH NO! Brain freeze!
Page 4, Panel 4: WHAT? There is no way I believe he didn’t know what he was doing. Simon really thought that someone was just going to come along and sew the head back on to the people he decapitated?
Page 5, Panel 2: And now he thinks that a car ripped his cat’s head off.
Page 5, Panel 5: Nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana
Page 6, Panel 3: Putting someone is a straightjacket is a threat, right?
Page 6, Panel 5: I’m trying to figure out who has the stupider face right now. One-eyed Jack Nicholson or the Scarecrow.
Page 7, Panel 1: Woo hey what the hell! This is why I got out of the fruit stand business!
Page 7, Panel 5: Oh no, any number of action-movie clichés just landed on the roof of the car!
Page 8, Panel 1: Hey, I remember this from the cover they were apparently too cheap to commission a cover for.
Page 8, Panel 5: I immediately regret calling him a freak!
Page 9, Panel 5: Reaction Nun reacts accordingly.
Page 10, Panel 2: I’m still hanging out in my car, by the way. Can’t imagine why I would have an urgent need not to just be chilling here.
Page 10, Panel 3: Why did he throw him into the church if he was just going to throw him right out again?
Page 10, Panel 6: Cops are never allowed to do anything wrong!
Page 11, Panel 3: Ah, that guy who is probably a demon of some kind is right, I can’t let him get killed.
Page 12, Panel 1: Oh right, I keep forgetting that under his Freddy mask he just looks like a normal dumbass.
Page 12, Panel 3: I mean geez! It’s not like I am trying to turn you in to my creepy death cult. You big whiner.
Page 12, Panel 4: “I HATE YOU! AHHHHHH!”
Page 13, Panel 4: Oops! He’s gonna miss that!
Page 13, Panel 7: Instead of chasing after that criminal, I’m going to make a shitty joke! Hahaha!
Page 14, Panel 1: Ah…I really needed to tear someone’s hand off.
Page 14, Panel 4: Apparently Simon missed the very obvious subtext that Sherlock Holmes was a cocaine addict. Also, not the first thing one thinks about Sherlock Holmes, weird detective guy.
Page 15, Panel 1: Oh…poor kitty cat. Poor tiny kitty cat grave.
Page 15, Panel 5: Wait, this random detective is connected to Simon? I find that…completely believable, in retrospect.
Page 16, Panel 3: And Simon throws his third hissy fit this issue. THIRD!
Page 17, Panel 2: Also, it’s been like a day, so I haven’t got around to it yet.
Page 17, Panel 3: That is the lamest excuse I have ever heard! Yeah…my dad adheres to a rigid philosophical belief that prevents him from realizing that maybe some creep with a terror mask might exist, so I can’t tell him about this.
Page 17, Panel 5: I know it’s you. I own a cell phone. It has caller ID. I said your name before you verified it was you.
Page 18, Panel 3: Why the hell is Simon freaking out? He mentioned he had a father at the beginning of the issue! Is this lunatic a lunatic?
Page 18, Panel 4: I’m Spartacus!
Page 19, Panel 5: Hey, have a full page of Latin, it’s not like we could use this page to answer any goddamn questions.
Page 20, Panel 3: Are we in MOMA? What is with that dumb sculpture?
Page 21, Panel 4: I have a feeling that wasn’t water.
Page 22, Panel 2: OH NO! Some guy we were introduced to one page ago died somehow!
Verdict: I still have a hard time seeing Simon as a hero here! All he has done this issue is go on an insane rampage for no reason, his motivation changing constantly. Also, they just let that guy escape? You have a car! Just go chase after him!
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