Rosario+Vampire - Episode 13: "Tsukune and a Vampire"

So…I’ve stared at this title for weeks, and did not have any idea what they were talking about, until I realized that Tsukune was the name of the main character. I don’t know how I missed that. Oh right….panties.

LAST TIME: OH SHIT everyone knows the main character is a human and they are going to goddamn kill him. I don’t think I need to say anymore. That’s pretty much all the important shit, right?

0:17 He’s here! The Phantom of the Opera!

0:45 Oh sure! Of course the main character was fated to death. That makes some stupid sense.

1:12 AND NOT LEAVING WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE!

1:29 Also, this witch lady who hasn’t reappeared since she apparently died.

2:09 Of course this shithead wants to kill everyone. How is this legal?

2:57 IKOL! What the hell are you doing here? And why do you sound like a lady? (Yeah, not a soul will get this joke.)

3:29 They are getting fucking lazy. We have had a full 30 seconds of this scene slowly scanning up.

4:36 Hey it’s me, your alternate personality who can apparently talk to you.

5:09 Oh there the fuck you are! What the fuck took you so long? It’s been two episodes.

5:41 You kinda just slapped me. I’d like to address that.

6:14 Yep, I am totally taking responsibility for us being awesome.

7:05 Apparently you can commit treason against a non-sovereign nation?

7:47 Oh shit that wolf has three heads!

8:15 That was dumb and I love it.

8:58 Oh of course they are still fighting with each other over romantic bullshit.

9:15 Oh dear apparently someone shot fire through my heart!

9:39 What happened to his shirt?

10:06 Don’t be glad about things! How dare you!

10:25 Hey guys, guess what he did we absolutely zero effort? Yeah that’s right, rosary time.

11:06 It happened offscreen and it was totally awesome, I’m sorry you couldn’t see it.

11:38 Oh dang yes! Just turn him into a vampire! Why the hell didn’t you idiots do that Day 1?

12:41 Hang on! All of his friends DIED last year? That is fucked up. I hate Monster School.

14:15 Haha, she just called him a bigot.

14:44 “We can trap you in a ring of spirit birds.”

15:07 Oh fuck, that fucking hurt! Beak in the eye hurts like shit!

15:30 He is playing by the Sephiroth rules!

16:14 Haha, you don’t have a penis.

16:44 What the hell is sticking out of his pants? Did they shred his underwear?

17:39 Humans are lame!

18:32 WHAT?!

19:15 Oh right, there is a werewolf. I kinda forgot about that.

19:35 PANTIES!

19:53 Hold on a minute. Just gotta climb down from here. Give me a minute.

20:26 Um…actually…that kinda doesn’t clear anything up. There are five other people here who could have done that.

21:05 Come on, bat! At least pretend to give a shit.

21:20 How the hell did the vampire get hurt so bad?

22:08 So…is the main character a vampire now? He was…kinda turned.

22:43 Oh bullshit! Just let this dumb shit resolve, assholes.

23:06 Oh and also the bat had a crush on him? BLEH.

23:56 The beginning theme again? What about the Nazi?

Verdict: That’s it? I mean, pardon, but that’s a poor resolution. It’s almost as if you are tempting me to watch the second season. You wouldn’t do that, would you? You bastards.