Netflix Syposis: Bursting with perky pop music and wacky rubber band-based characters, this animated feature inspired by a nationwide craze for rubber band bracelets tells the story of five highly elastic characters who fall off a truck and into their own adventure.
Oh right, that rubber band bracelet craze that ended a good five years before this movie was released, yeah, I remember that. Also, exactly how many adventures start with someone falling off a truck? We need to stop going back to that well.
0:04 Elastic Productions, get it?!
1:02 Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
1:18 Stop giving away the entire plot!
1:58 “Your best source for bunny jokes.”
2:46 You know, maybe it’s not the best evolutionary trait to be the same color as asphalt.
3:35 Also, rubber bands that have a rigid shape for some reason, which makes absolutely no sense.
4:54 So…these guys talk exclusively in puns then? That’s….great.
5:54 Hurray, they are already dead, because vultures! At least…I hope…
7:03 WE GET IT! We get all of it!
7:51 What the hell are the odds, it’s the truck from earlier.
8:24 Meanwhile…in a montage…
9:09 Or…you know, regular colored bracelets, that don’t have any shapes whatsoever.
10:02 That’s a good rule. Don’t pick up stuff off the floor of service stations. The more you know.
11:18 And he didn’t think of anything, the end.
12:02 The light bulb rubber band is hitting on an actual light bulb.
12:45 This bad guy is just a regular rubber band. A normal ordinary rubber band.
13:40 So…this normal rubber band just proved himself vastly superior than all our protagonists. Why aren’t we following him?
15:18 The past five minutes have just been them being moved from one garbage receptacle to another.
16:32 Don’t worry, I’m sure the aliens we met at the gas station will rescue us.
17:33 Haha! Alcoholism jokes!
18:09 Why didn’t that rubber band have a face? What was his problem?
18:34 Why did they suddenly appear in a package of rubber bands? Literally out of nowhere. Also, I find it really unlikely that they take rubber bands from the dump and resell them.
19:30 Also, it’s a picture, so there was no way you could have heard anything.
20:50 Man, I hate musicians who think they can act. Also, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?
22:04 Is there a reason why he wrapped six rubber band around a single newspaper? Also, what are the odds that they got permission to use this copy of U.S.A. Today?
23:02 “Acoustic tech to track Chilika dolphins”
23:49 Check out all these shitty rubber bands on my arm. You are just one of dozens! I don’t care about you at all!
24:48 Go on boy, go and fetch the paper from yesterday! I’m really interested in what happened two days ago!
25:55 And…the flower rubber band just went ahead and decided to go insane.
26:31 And that’s why you should all join my cult! I mean!
28:06 I figure these dirty, wet rubber bands are perfect for my rubber band gun. I don’t know why I wouldn’t use some that came with the kit.
29:33 The amount of pathos they poured into the trials of an ordinary rubber band is way too much.
30:30 You could totally live without the sun! You are a rubber band!
31:03 He was pooped out! Haha!
31:30 Oh shit! That baby is so high right now!
32:19 Was that grocery cart moving by itself?
33:39 Is that a washer/dryer?
34:07 This is the crappiest Frogger clone that I’ve ever seen.
34:42 BOING BOING BOING BOING BOING BOING BOING BOING.
35:39 Did they fall in love? Would someone fall in love?
36:08 They’re up there! I saw them! Jump up there!
37:04 I learned all this while being on her arm for like, five minutes.
38:04 HAHAHAHA Nobody has a circle rubber band! No one!
38:30 Hat slap! That’s what you get for acting like a child!
39:27 What? Who takes their crappy trend rubber bands on a trip to France?
40:02 You are one ‘n’ away from being the worst person, Charlie Mason.
40:57 So…the daisy rubber band was voiced by someone named Bandit. That’s the only credit. Just…Bandit.
42:48 Wait, they got Jet Li to do the translation?! Oh…Jet Lee, never mind.
Verdict: So…apparently Zanybandz are an actual thing, or at least they were, two years ago. Now, I don’t understand why you would want to collect an object in which the mere act of using it as intended would negate the aesthetic purpose of it; rubber bands on your wrist look exactly like rubber bands on your wrist, no matter what their original shape.
But enough, this show was dumb. A cash-in of a cash-in, and my god the puns. So many goddamn puns. I don’t think one of our “heroes” spoke a single line that didn’t reference the thing they were shaped as. We get it! You are shaped like a television! Shut up already!
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