Rideback - Episode 8: "Get Ride! The Chosen One"

That’s not a proper conjugation. Well, I guess we’ll find out for sure if these motorcycles are magical or not. That’s the world really needs: magic motorcycles with arms.

LAST TIME: The ballerina spent the majority of the time in police custody being mopey. The alien guy is a wanted terrorist, as we figured out already, and now they’ve sprung the ballerina from prison for some reason. Let’s hope nothing super terrible happens.

Danger Girl #2

This is seconds before you get kicked in the face, because what the hell were you doing in here, you asshole? Can’t a lady bathe naked in a Roman jacuzzi in peace?

LAST TIME: Abbey Chase doesn’t die, and then joins Danger Girl, which is a top secret organization fighting whoever for no other reason than it will look totally sexy. They chase some fat asshole who stole a shield I guess, and now there are helicopters.

No Ordinary Family - Episode 11: "No Ordinary Friends"

But we just did an episode in which we learned about the power of friendship! And you can’t convince me this will be about the kids’ friends, because the only friend they seem to have is the black guy with the pregnant girlfriend. (Seriously, when are they going to get back to that? Did he dump her? Force her to get an abortion? Going to follow through? I care deeply about this tertiary character!)

LAST TIME: The adults have pissy fights for no reason, Tiberius has a crush on a girl, and Pills manages to cause something to happen by figuring out Minion’s game, then getting mind wiped. MINDWIPED! It’s a big deal.

Rideback - Episode 7: "Crime and Punishment"

You dummies know what books are right? I won’t have to make a book joke, will I? Good.

LAST TIME: The ballerina’s brother, that’s totally who that guy is, gets caught up with a gang of literal hooligans, who tear through the street and then get killed by Robocops. Meanwhile, the ballerina is being super mopey, and ends up in the same place for some reason. And now she’s going to learn the true meaning of police state!

Danger Girl #1

LAAAAAAAAAAAAAADIES.

LAST TIME: Our heroine, who has a name and stuff, but more importantly, seems to have boobs and junk, was kidnapped by a douche bag, but then got away, and then here we go.