So, apparently I really hate this book, because every time I think, "Oh, I should probably finish that last issue," I just...can't. I have been putting this crap off for a goddamn week. Sorry for the wait, here it is. Eat it in. More Transformers bullshit.
LAST TIME: Transformers bullshit.
Page 1, Panel 2: About goddamn time, Spider-Man. You were tied up there for 16 goddamn hours. What the hell, man?
Page 1, Panel 5: Doom also speaks in the third-person.
Page 2, Panel 1: You can tell they are good guys because they talk in blue speech bubbles.
Page 2, Panel 4: Yes or no, Dr. Doom. Not that hard of question.
Page 3, Panel 2: I suddenly have a personal vendetta against Megatron for no real reason.
Page 3, Panel 4: Hey, good work getting rid of your hostage, Megatron. You are good at this.
Page 4, Panel 1: Iron Man likes house music?
Page 5, Panel 2: Hey, system report. Maybe shut up for once. Every single panel has had a power level reading, and it also makes no sense that the power level would fluctuate this much. Apparently Iron Man built his power suit using a smartphone battery.
Page 6, Panel 1: Hey, if you need me, Optimus Prime, to sacrifice myself, I will totally do it. Just ask.
Page 6, Panel 3: Why the hell not? Just punch him, Megatron! What the hell are you waiting for?
Page 7, Panel 1: This would be super dramatic if we didn't know that Tony Stark is safely hanging out in the chest cavity.
Page 8, Panel 1: Wolverine really needs to poop!
Page 8, Panel 4: Wolverine! Hey! Get off the hood! You're going to scratch the paint!
Page 9, Panel 2: Hey guys, maybe wait until I'm out of the way before opening fire with your machine guns? Dicks.
Page 10, Panel 2: Wait, I thought they were using Spider-Man's unspecified "life energy." Wouldn't taking his blood give all the Transformers spiderpowers, not make them shoot superlasers?
Page 10, Panel 3: Doctor Doom, even when admitting you are right, will still treat you like garbage. He must be a terrible boyfriend.
Page 12, Panel 1: Wait, Iron Man was in his iron suit while inside an even bigger iron suit? That's dumb.
Page 12, Panel 3: It's funny because that wasn't Iron Man's actual back-up plan! That just kinda happened.
Page 13, Panel 3: How else would you roll, Autobots. None of you idiots can fly.
Page 14, Panel 5: Yeah sure, whatever, guy. You're not Starscream.
Page 15, Panel 1: What? Where the hell did those last two hours ago? Maybe time moves differently in Latveria.
Page 15, Panel 4: And....Doom is talking to himself. Whatever buddy!
Page 17, Panel 3: And...everyone just teleported away. Cool, I love useless battles!
Page 18, Panel 1: Would you like Megatron to listen, bud?
Page 18, Panel 3: Because he's black, you see.
Page 19, Panel 2: So...is he dead? Did they kill him?
Page 19, Panel 4: Oh no, nevermind, he teleported away too. Fun.
Page 20, Panel 1: Pff...no. He's still alive. He's Doctor Doom. Also, stop being such condescending dicks, Transformers.
Page 21, Panel 2: Oh that's Tony Stark for you. Always trying to build a bigger robot.
Page 21, Panel 5: And then going so far as to suggest the Quinjet is a Transformer? How? Why? You know what, never mind.
Verdict: So, nothing important happened and we can pretend that this is completely out of continuity. Sounds great. Let's do it. Screw Transformers forever.
LAST TIME: Transformers bullshit.
Page 1, Panel 2: About goddamn time, Spider-Man. You were tied up there for 16 goddamn hours. What the hell, man?
Page 1, Panel 5: Doom also speaks in the third-person.
Page 2, Panel 1: You can tell they are good guys because they talk in blue speech bubbles.
Page 2, Panel 4: Yes or no, Dr. Doom. Not that hard of question.
Page 3, Panel 2: I suddenly have a personal vendetta against Megatron for no real reason.
Page 3, Panel 4: Hey, good work getting rid of your hostage, Megatron. You are good at this.
Page 4, Panel 1: Iron Man likes house music?
Page 5, Panel 2: Hey, system report. Maybe shut up for once. Every single panel has had a power level reading, and it also makes no sense that the power level would fluctuate this much. Apparently Iron Man built his power suit using a smartphone battery.
Page 6, Panel 1: Hey, if you need me, Optimus Prime, to sacrifice myself, I will totally do it. Just ask.
Page 6, Panel 3: Why the hell not? Just punch him, Megatron! What the hell are you waiting for?
Page 7, Panel 1: This would be super dramatic if we didn't know that Tony Stark is safely hanging out in the chest cavity.
Page 8, Panel 1: Wolverine really needs to poop!
Page 8, Panel 4: Wolverine! Hey! Get off the hood! You're going to scratch the paint!
Page 9, Panel 2: Hey guys, maybe wait until I'm out of the way before opening fire with your machine guns? Dicks.
Page 10, Panel 2: Wait, I thought they were using Spider-Man's unspecified "life energy." Wouldn't taking his blood give all the Transformers spiderpowers, not make them shoot superlasers?
Page 10, Panel 3: Doctor Doom, even when admitting you are right, will still treat you like garbage. He must be a terrible boyfriend.
Page 12, Panel 1: Wait, Iron Man was in his iron suit while inside an even bigger iron suit? That's dumb.
Page 12, Panel 3: It's funny because that wasn't Iron Man's actual back-up plan! That just kinda happened.
Page 13, Panel 3: How else would you roll, Autobots. None of you idiots can fly.
Page 14, Panel 5: Yeah sure, whatever, guy. You're not Starscream.
Page 15, Panel 1: What? Where the hell did those last two hours ago? Maybe time moves differently in Latveria.
Page 15, Panel 4: And....Doom is talking to himself. Whatever buddy!
Page 17, Panel 3: And...everyone just teleported away. Cool, I love useless battles!
Page 18, Panel 1: Would you like Megatron to listen, bud?
Page 18, Panel 3: Because he's black, you see.
Page 19, Panel 2: So...is he dead? Did they kill him?
Page 19, Panel 4: Oh no, nevermind, he teleported away too. Fun.
Page 20, Panel 1: Pff...no. He's still alive. He's Doctor Doom. Also, stop being such condescending dicks, Transformers.
Page 21, Panel 2: Oh that's Tony Stark for you. Always trying to build a bigger robot.
Page 21, Panel 5: And then going so far as to suggest the Quinjet is a Transformer? How? Why? You know what, never mind.
Verdict: So, nothing important happened and we can pretend that this is completely out of continuity. Sounds great. Let's do it. Screw Transformers forever.
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