LAST ISSUE: There’s some kind of blood bubble over a boring Colorado town, Superman can’t deal, so instead the magic squad goes in and they still haven’t come out yet. It’s been like a year. What the heck is going on in there? Are they having a party?
Page 1, Panel 2: Oh that’s nice of the Stranger, he provides his lookouts with hot cocoa.
Page 2, Panel 1: Holy crap she actually did it. She actually shot the bad guy’s eyes out.
Page 2, Panel 3: Gorilla bat!
Page 4, Panel 1: THE MURDER HOLE?
Page 4, Panel 3: Put them down fast and hard, if you know what I mean. I mean kill them.
Page 4, Panel 4: Oh dang, that’s kinda neat. The bad witch just convinced the good guys to split up with magic. At least they had a good reason for such a dumb move.
Page 5, Panel 2: Jeez! You spend 50 years as a drunken monkey and everybody hangs it over your head for the rest of time!
Page 5, Panel 4: Taking away Detective Chimp’s deerstalker is always a bad decision.
Page 6, Panel 3: Shadow genie versus shadow dragon! This Sunday at the Hippodrome!
Page 7, Panel 1: Hey, I recognize that phrase from TVTropes, mainly because it sounds clunky to say, and also doesn’t apply in this situation!
Page 7, Panel 2: I’m curious how Ragman thinks he’s going to get up there. Biplane? Grappling hook?
Page 8, Panel 3: This is pretty gross, and I hate that I know images like this turn people on.
Page 9, Panel 3: They call me the White Rabbit, mainly because I’m very pale. No idea where they got the rabbit from. I’m clearly a man. Now, if I lead people down paths towards complete confusion, that might make sense, but I just have a sword. Really weird they call me that.
Page 11, Panel 1: Did…he punch him over a mile? How?
Page 12, Panel 2: Oh, thanks for reassuring us that everyone in the party is safe because of some boring arcane rules. That will really help the tension.
Page 12, Panel 4: Hey! Don’t suckerpunch Detective Chimp!
Page 14, Panel 5: One small nick of my blade and you’re…fast asleep? Really? That’s a weird power for a sword to have. Also, why isn’t my nickname White Noise or Sandman or something?
Page 15, Panel 3: Man this issue loves hanging lampshades! They have one of the bad guys point out that Shadowpact is remarkably similar to their team, and that maybe Shadowpact was created to oppose them, even though this is the bad guys’ first appearance. We get it, Williamham, you know what tropes are.
Page 16, Panel 3: Um, yes, mystical duel is mandatory. This is a superhero book. You must fight!
Page 16, Panel 4: Annihilation Stones are good enough? Man, I think annihilation stones are just fine.
Page 17, Panel 2: And the main bad guy just turn the Enchantress into a Gronk. It makes a gronk sound, it looks like a gronk, it’s a Gronk.
Page 18, Panel 1: Um, I guess we’re in outer space now?
Page 19, Panel 1: Oop! Time to go, guys. Becky isn’t allowed here. Go home, Beckies!
Page 19, Panel 3: You’re going to put them in a tiny box? You do realize they are all human sized, right?
Page 20, Panel 1: Stop saying murder hole, it just sounds grosser each time you say it.
Page 21, Panel 4: What? This kid’s counterpart would be some kind of jackal? Why would you not assume his counterpart is human?
Page 22, Panel 4: This is the worst episode of This Old House ever.
Page 22, Panel 5: Ah man! Don’t torture Detective Chimp! Everybody loves him!
Verdict: It was competent! I kinda liked the Gronk, and it did well in explaining all its potential plot holes, but all the metatalk seemed a bit much, and the whole issue just felt like it was stretching the story. As I said, perfectly fine.
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