Friday, February 3, 2012

Rideback - Episode 7: "Crime and Punishment"

You dummies know what books are right? I won’t have to make a book joke, will I? Good.

LAST TIME: The ballerina’s brother, that’s totally who that guy is, gets caught up with a gang of literal hooligans, who tear through the street and then get killed by Robocops. Meanwhile, the ballerina is being super mopey, and ends up in the same place for some reason. And now she’s going to learn the true meaning of police state!

0:12 Here are some unpleasant noises! Enjoy!

0:45 Wait, are ridebacks universally beloved by everyone? Are they like card games in Yugioh?

1:13 Oh hey, and so they are torturing this guy to get a fake murder confession out of him. Oh these guys are great people.

2:23 I’m trying to grasp why they need to set this guy up. I mean, it’s not like the public doesn’t know the white ridebacks exist, and there’s not really action the people can take to stop their brutal goddamn government. At most, they are really paving the way for more resistance fighters. Hell, if you’re going to be this awful, just kill them.

3:53 Sad eyes.

4:26 The vandals were charged with assault, for punching people that we forgot to mention.

5:32 How will it hurt, fat guy? Stop being a negative nancy.

6:01 Even though our club is being run by the most sought-after terrorist in the country, but whatever!

6:49 Ah, four-eyes has a crush on the roommate.

7:22 Oh the 24-hour news cycle, just repeating the same story over and over again.

8:20 Well yeah, that’s sound awful. I too hate when things are pressed upon me, like irons.

8:59 Oh no, random business suit guy!

9:17 Damn it! That is totally against the law oh wait probably not, this is a police state, after all.

10:12 You have exactly 25 seconds to talk to your granddaughter who was arrested for mysterious reasons and will be held indefinitely! There will be no compassion!

10:52 Apparently her mother is just nonstop dancing through her memories.

12:05 Wait, can terrorists just visit her in her dreams? Is that a thing?

12:49 Ug! Are they still talking to this guy? It’s been days.

13:39 I sure there’s a big adorable dog back there. Oh no, it’s just blonde-haired lady.

14:11 I only date gay ghosts, it’s a weird fetish.

14:55 Oh, and this lady with the creepy eyes and weird voice seemed so nice, too.

15:52 Hehehehe, his code name is Goblin? Also, how will he deliver that message, you just shot him?

16:40 Man, what would happen if someone came into custody with way more things than can fit in this iron boxes they always seem to have? Like a full-sized cactus or whatever.

17:17 She is mildly concerned about the explosions and bloodsplatters.

17:42 Christ are they all dead yet? That was a full 45 seconds of gunfire.

18:32 That’s great! The journalist chick totally turned in her footage to hang the police out to dry. Good work.

19:12 So, in order to clear her name, we murdered more people and took her into our custody, thus actually making her a terrorist. We are righteous!

20:31 Oh good, the ballerina has nothing to do with this. That’s good, I’m glad she constantly is getting mixed up in dangerous terrorist acts.

21:17 Ah, a moth. They have moths here, that’s nice.

21:45 Is this her vampire boyfriend? What’s with the sappy music?

22:47 One of the characters is named Romanov Cullenberg? They realize nobody would ever be named that, right? That’s almost as bad as Baccano!’s Jacuzzi Splot. (that’s a lie, that is the most ridiculous name ever.)

23:40 Hey don’t mind us! We’re just the increasingly unimportant school chums whose adventures are starting to seem juvenile in comparison to the political intrigue plot!

Verdict: Man this shit is getting dark. The torture scene, the indefinite detainment, the terrorists, this is getting to be really sad. I don’t blame the ballerina for spending the majority of this episode sitting quietly with slumped shoulders.

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