LAST TIME: Our extremely paranoid crew try to murder a guy, then yell at some Chinese people, then try to escape once again only to have it fail miserably. Meanwhile, some people who do not matter have sex with each other.
0:06 This flashback of people slamming into imaginary walls in the best.
0:39 Oh good, plan C seems to be “dig a dumb hole.”
1:12 Holy shit how long have they been digging? There is literally 100 yards of spacious tunnel. And how are they setting up support beams?
2:10 And apparently there’s a metal ring surrounding the facility, so they just wasted two months of arduous work.
2:42 And then they were all poisoned! This place is pretty great.
3:19 Hey, stop screaming her name, it makes the camera go all wonky.
4:09 Haha, they are still eating Chinese food.
4:31 Hey Alan, maybe go take a shower?
5:21 THANK YOU! Thanks for mentioning a plan that is not ridiculous.
5:48 Everything that will burn. Sticks, chairs, bodies of Chinese workers.
6:21 Great to hear about this child abuse secondhand, from a guy we already hate.
6:48 Look who decided to finally get super creepy. (Hint: It’s the used car salesman.)
7:29 Does the socialite know Crav Maga? How the hell did she do that?
8:25 This guy is completely ridiculous. He gets beaten up after what was, technically, an attempted rape, and suddenly it’s their fault? Fuck this guy.
9:06 Oh by the way, Alan Ruck is a murderer.
9:44 PFFFFF. Apparently the laws of thermodynamics don’t work here.
10:27 Beware the CGI helicopter!
11:09 JUMP SCARE!
11:37 There better be a cat in this crate or I’m walking.
12:32 Me too, lady. Me too. This is dumb. What is going on?
13:03 OH OH! Is it the used car salesman? Can he be the lone man out? Please?
13:53 Who is watching her now, Alan? I mean, if you’ve been here for over two weeks, who is taking care of her?
14:28 Used Car Salesman does not take mildly witty comments well.
14:58 So, either someone has ransacked his house, or his cat was having a bit of play.
16:07 Everything about the reporter sounds super contrived. I’ve lived in San Francisco, there is no way that a newspaper like this would actually exist.
16:57 Dramatic door knocking!
17:15 Follow-up: I was taking a nap at like 1 p.m. in the afternoon.
18:00 This guy is evil. This guy is a plant. No way in shit would an actual human being ever act like this.
18:50 Let’s see that murder one more time, shall we?
19:39 I love how these guys immediately jump to the conclusion that they will be murdered by gas. Another fine moment in the continued adventures of The Most Paranoid People in the World.
20:19 Oh hey, this guy is Muslim. Neat.
20:52 Lady, you’ve been here for two weeks. What are the odds that there is someone there?
21:42 I was busy rattling these bottles. Who wants some ancient soda that likely expired forty years ago?
22:25 Oh dear an actual gas attack! I half believed it wouldn’t actually happen.
22:54 This guy cannot stop being around women who are suffocating.
23:37 WOO! Take off your shirt! Oh no she threw a brick at us!
24:01 How does he know that?
24:38 It is ridiculous that they are guarding their gas masks as if they were babies.
25:12 Subpar Chinese food, are you here?
25:30 Why it’s an old-time piani!
25:59 What’s up? Don’t even bother to ask what I was doing in the kitchen.
26:49 When I was young? It is not entirely uncommon to know how to play the piano.
27:27 So she is suddenly not crazy again?
27:53 Meanwhile, back in the San Francisco plot cul-de-sac…
28:35 The detective knows George Clooney?
29:19 No no, you called their fax number. You need to call the mainline.
30:08 I like that the mild threat of gas attack has led everyone to wearing really ugly ponchos.
30:54 How dare you jump ahead in the story? I was going to reveal that over several episodes!
31:35 Wait, you found ONE spoon? How did you only find one spoon? Are they in a reverse “Isn’t it ironic?”
32:31 Oh really, that was about you? I couldn’t have possibly guessed that sad sack story was about you.
32:57 WHAT? REALLY!? All the paintings in the ice cream store are actually of her mother and her daughter? That is stupid as shit.
33:36 Also, how will beating us with a bottle possibly help in this situation?
34:43 Who…me?
34:55 Oh my Night Manager is my new favorite character. That was smooth.
35:48 Haha, the gas attack happened, and turns out the bad gas was actually in the gas masks. Irony!
36:44 Ah dammit. Used Car Salesman survived.
38:09 Somehow, the makeup for this guy’s beating managed to last longer than the microwave gun makeup.
38:41 Let’s have a motto-off.
39:08 This asshole ISN’T a car salesman? But…but…I already established a nickname!
40:00 Oh thank goodness they have finally agreed to stop trying to escape. Thank you.
40:19 That…that is not a characteristic of sharks. I don’t know where you learned about sharks.
40:55 Fuck you, cryptic fortune cookies!
41:53 He works in Cupertino?
42:10 OH FUCK the douche bag reporter is apparently that one lady’s wife! Either that or this is a crappy crappy photoshop.
Verdict: Well I’m glad that they have finally given up on the escape nonsense, and the twist, while predictable, was kind of nice. Still have serious issue with the conclusions these weirdos jump to, but it’s finally found its legs. Its stupid, stupid legs.
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