LAST TIME: Buffy is still Buffy, doing what she do, Dawn is now 50-feet-tall for some reason, everyone is being pissy to each other, and Amy (remember Amy?) is now a bad guy, I guess. I don’t know! Buffy!
Page 2, Panel 1: How did that blond lady get in that position? Was she leaping from the roof? And why are they fighting ninjas in Moscow?
Page 3, Panel 3: Giles is one downer motherfucker.
Page 3, Panel 4: …your boobs.
Page 5, Panel 1: How did a show that was about a single combatant against darkness become all about teamwork? Oh who am I kidding, it’s always been about teamwork. Every show is about teamwork.
Page 5, Page 3: Does gravity just work differently in the Buffy universe? The hell is she vaulting off of?
Page 5, Panel 5: Really, you’re praising the typical hip Asian lady haircut?
Page 6, Panel 2: Oh goddamn it what is this? Why is there an entire paragraph of Star Wars-based pseudo-philosophy? And who is this fucking guy?
Page 6, Panel 4: No, that didn’t answer shit, whoever the hell you are.
Page 7, Panel 3: Good point, whoever you are! Why doesn’t the slayer use guns? There was even an episode where it was pretty clear that guns (specifically, bazookas) are much better at fighting demons.
Page 7, Panel 4: Ah, I see. Slayers don’t carry guns just because. Cool.
Page 8, Panel 1: Why did you invite a dude to come talk to you while you take your bath? Also, where the hell is your stomach?
Page 9, Panel 4: This artist does a pretty decent job of caricature, but his Michelle Trachtenberg is way off. Her eyes are far too big.
Page 10, Panel 2: Wait…you have two of a given outfit?
Page 10, Panel 4: Should: Opt to but not necessarily will. (I will never forget that lesson from debate club.)
Page 11, Panel 1: I see absolutely nothing wrong with killing hundreds of people based on a hunch about their motives. I’m in the military!
Page 11, Panel 4: Jeez, this guy is a real war hawk. “Anything we dislike can be exploded!”
Page 12, Panel 1: Whose boyfriend? What boyfriend? We’re not talking about Angel, right?
Page 12, Panel 5: Oh no a symbol I should be afraid of for some reason!
Page 13, Panel 2: Thanks for reminding us that Dawn isn‘t a person. Also, Buffy has only died once while Dawn has existed, I think. (Okay, apparently there is an episode I didn’t see in which she MIGHT have died. So, maybe).
Page 13, Panel 4: Oh of course her ex-boyfriend is a Kenny. Fucking hate Kennies. (Not bitter.)
Page 14, Panel 2: WAIT WHAT?! Buffy and Xander are dating?!
Page 14, Panel 13: And Xander’s head occasionally falls off?
Page 15, Panel 3: And then she is being eaten by a demon above a pool of lava okay I’m pretty confident this is just a dream now.
Page 16, Panel 1: Oh okay, she is in fact about to be murdered by someone. That makes sense.
Page 16, Panel 5: Who the hell wears goggles to bed?
Page 17, Panel 2: OH NO Amy stabbed here I think!
Page 18, Panel 1: Oh, apparently Buffy’s skin is made of iron.
Page 18, Panel 3: Oh, I get it, like open-mic night. Good dumb joke, Joss.
Page 19, Panel 1: I agree, this spell is bullshit. The kiss of true love?
Page 19, Panel 2: And then these characters, apparently.
Page 20, Panel 1: Oh, what’s up, zombies?
Page 21, Panel 2: Okay, I admit, that was a pretty cute exchange. I take back my meanness from two pages ago.
Page 21, Panel 4: Maybe they should announce it over the PA? “Anyone who wants to rock Buffy’s bones, please report to the Principal’s office.”
Page 22, Page 1: This artist sure loves big dumb fight scenes.
Page 23, Panel 1: That’s Angel. You’re not fooling me at all. Angel.
Page 24, Panel 1: Oh hey, Willow finally bothered to show up. And she just back from the Ren Faire, apparently.
Verdict: Man, this is still mildly interesting. Pretty fun, interesting threats. Still completely useless to someone who isn’t a fan, but…kind of a fan…
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