LAST TIME: Kiefer Sutherland is the father of an autistic kid that he maybe needs to some help raising, since the kid is constantly freaking out. Through a bunch of insane coincidences, they manage to save a school bus full of children by distracting this guy. Also we follow a lost phone that manages to trek the entire world in what seems like a week, eventually being used as a detonator for a suicide bomber, but everything turns out okay. I’m not sure how they were related at all.
0:31 The average person sends 300 e-mails a day?! Does that include people without Internet because there’s a problem with whoever is boosting the curve?
0:58 Was that a magician for some reason?
1:37 And he is staring at me like a creeper.
2:32 I HAVE to follow the delusions of my 10-year-old child!
3:07 Wait, how is the kid getting out of a locked facility the dad’s fault? Are they concerned the father taught him lockpicking skills?
3:40 Can’t help but notice how reasonable the social worker is being here.
4:30 Ha, neat trick kid. Now I drew on your hand!
5:03 Does he not have the Internet at home? Maybe if you moved into a smaller place, buddy. That apartment has got to be expensive.
5:50 Can you sound a little less condescending, flight attendant?
6:32 You were both watching that. You both saw the latch come undone.
6:53 I expect the dog to suddenly be in Kosovo in the next scene for no good reason.
8:15 Just keep barreling through with the talking to the kid who has been established as being completely unable to speak. Not annoying to watch at all.
9:15 How did the kid leave the room without making any…oh wait, yes, we’ve established. He’s Batman.
10:20 Am I playing Katamari Damacy? What’s with the music? I mean, I like it, but it’s weird.
10:55 Also, it’s got to be really hard to keep a kid locked up when he can apparently pull the keycode for any door from the universe.
11:22 Yep, the pawn shop just opened at 3:20 p.m. for no good reason.
11:40 Oh goddamn the Japanese girls are back.
12:35 It is totally a thing they let you do at a stadium. Just throw ashes wherever you want.
13:05 Thank you for reminding me what taxis are, as apparently we don’t have them in whatever backwater South Asian country I come from.
13:47 Significant baseball.
14:37 I’m a…customer? Shops occasionally have those?
15:11 Oh, by the way, this is an assisted suicide. The owner hired this waahoo to shoot him and make it look like a crime. I have no idea why, but that’s my guess.
15:54 Get your hands off me, you damn dirty apes! I mean, EMTs!
16:48 Oh hey, it’s a loan shark who will randomly kill people when they don’t pay up, because that’s a good business model.
17:24 It was WEIRD to find it in the pawn shop that I sold it in, but sometimes you gotta believe in fate.
18:20 Oh of course this jerk didn’t actually arrange for this stadium dust drop.
19:11 Just crying on a bus, regular Thursday.
19:32 Oh, I forgot Danny Glover was in this, despite the description telling me so.
20:04 The entire universe is NUMBERS. And it’s in Danny Glover’s house. Quick! Let’s steal it.
21:05 Don’t let the kid on the bus! Why does the kid even have pocket change! Did he have a transfer?
21:48 Wow, Keifer Sutherland managed to catch the bus after it managed to drive from a residential area into a commercial area, he is fast.
22:25 Oh, here’s the magician from the beginning, finally.
22:53 This is a heavily “shitty dad” centric episode.
23:31 That, eh, that was it. Your entire act was a single dove out of a hat?
24:17 Holy crap, this Russian magic shop owner is dressed like Rasputin. Well, if you’re anywhere.
25:03 Nobody likes the mob boss’s son, because they are scared of his dad. Sure, this makes sense.
26:08 I know, Dad. I’m magic, remember? You don’t need to recap stuff for me.
26:56 The camera just zoomed up in amazement when, upon calling someone of a telephone, a telephone rang.
28:52 This guy pretty quickly discounted the possibility that these people aren’t supposed to be in here, and just gave them what they wanted.
30:00 No, the answer is obviously no, why did you even bother asking?
30:24 Also, exactly one guy told you no, you have given up pretty quickly, bud.
30:55 SO WAIT! She never found the dog before, and never mentioned that fact, and now the dog is here?
31:28 Did this Indian guy at least arrange a hotel?
32:00 So this guy just gave this complete stranger an envelope full of money, and didn’t realize until after the fact that maybe that wasn’t the best idea.
32:49 Also, Keifer Sutherland TOTALLY kept that envelope of money after he got away.
34:07 So I guess these people have a history? The mugger guy and this player? I suppose?
35:22 Why couldn’t you very reasonably get $10,000 in three hours!? Just go to a money tree!
36:11 Wait, is the mugger guy getting saved by the mob boss’s son calling him on the phone? We’ve had like zero contact with the mob boss’s son. Nobody put this into motion. This is a false connection.
37:55 Oh hey! I was goddamn right, this pawn shop guy was trying to get an assisted suicide going.
38:40 You shouldn’t care if he dies, Keifer? That’s pretty heartless.
39:24 That’s almost funny. Even after that huge speech, guy was going to jump anyway. Screw you, Keifer!
40:00 Also, here’s a mob boss’s dog and…WAIT, the flight attendant is his daughter? What the hell?
40:47 So, so wait…what the fuck was the problem then? Because the flight attendant seemed pretty upset about her father and yet she never returned his letters? This was not properly explained.
41:46 And here are those Japanese girls again, as if they had anything to do with anything.
42:48 It would be a lot easier for me to understand if you just told me things instead of constant numbers, but whatever…
VERDICT: So…they keep on trying to show how everything is connected and yada yada yada and it keeps not going great? I suppose that’s why it’s set in an airport kinda, but still, all these interlocking stories are very very tangentially related. Like, I guess we’re supposed to care about the kid because it’s his dog? Wait, why is a dog being shipped through a commercial airline? Also, how is this kid back home again? This social worker is terrible at her job!
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